Creating Your Connection Capital

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There we are. Hello, everyone. Welcome to this Monday episode of the NeuroDiversity Media Network. I am Briar Harvey. I am here today with be fabulous, Alice, Miriam. And we are talking about creating your connection capital.

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So this series is about momentum. We started last time with a breakdown of what that looks like, what it means how to start building it. Today, we're gonna be talking about tracking, planning, the implementation of momentum For real, I recommend you bring snacks. This this is the part that takes a while. This is the part that feels like it's so much work that you're never gonna reach the end of it. And uphill bat zone. Yes. That's correct. The boulder to the top of the mountain before you can get that momentum to roll it down. That is correct. Yeah. So Muscles. In addition to building muscle mass, What do we need to know to get started when it comes to tracking and planning our momentum building activities?

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Well, you need to know that that is something like momentum isn't magical happening. Right? So the first thing you need to know is that you can plan your momentum and that that it is trackable Now in order to do that, one of the things that you're gonna wanna do is you're gonna wanna know what your roles are. Like, you always have to start from where that is. Because what my goals look like and what your goals look like prior. Or what anybody else's goals look like look different. Because that's part of what you're tracking. Right? That's part of what you're tracking. And I know I I in a previous episode, we did speak around like, a work back plan for goals and things. And that's a really great way to plan your momentum.

0:02:16

Like, if your end goal is this thing right here, like, to make a hundred k. Right? Like, if that's your goal, gotta get on that trend of six figure. Now is it seven or ten or twenty figures? Like, what I think it's, like, ten, twelve figures. Now eleven eleven billion figures. Like -- Right. -- five here.

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I think I think what happened is we just keep moving the number up because that sounds more legitimate. Right. Because it's more exciting. People get people get bored and they glaze over with seven figures. And so now you gotta go to eight or nine or tend to get their attention, I guess.

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Well and maybe it's inflation. So -- Yeah. -- why million dollars doesn't mean anything anymore. And I gotta go make a billion dollars to have any impact in the world. Exactly. Exactly. It's inflation. Yes. Let me get that.

0:03:16

So if that's your end goal. Right? And you need to build the momentum to get there. And here's the thing with momentum. Like, once you get it, you'll be surprised at how quickly you'll be able to get to that goal and beyond that.

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Like, momentum starts to take on a mind of its own at some point. But you have to have that consistency in getting there. And that's where the planning and the tracking come into play. Because with the planning and the tracking, the planning will help you be more consistent. Right? And consistency is gonna look different for everyone. Right? Like, hello, ADHD.

0:03:55

Briar and I were just having a really intense ADHD conversation. Prior to pushing the go live button about my, you know, my lack of focus and all of these things that have been happening lately. So so it looks different for everybody, but you have to find what works for you. And as a matter of fact, prior, you and I had a conversation. Gosh, it's been, like, a year ago. Gonna have to find that conversation. We'll put it out somewhere. Where we talked about planning, and we talked about all the other aspects of planning. I think that was an Askprior episode. I think it might have even been published, but it probably is still living in the vault somewhere. To somewhere. Yes. Mhmm.

0:04:43

And just different ways, different ideas around planning, and that's something you can research you can go into, you know, you can use Google, research you, some things about planning an ADHD. I mean, are you do you prefer paper? Do you prefer technology? Do you need, you know, for me, a lot of my planning happens in my alarm app on my phone. Like, if I have something I need to do. I just set an alarm for the time that I need to do it, and my alarm goes off. Like, that's a lot of times, that's how I plan. That's the stent in level that I can contribute to my plan. But if I do that consistently enough, then I start to form these habits. And a lot of times what I find happening is I will go to my phone, and it's like three minutes before that alarm is about to go off. And that reminder, which mean, like, I'm I'm getting a an internal clock of what I need to be doing every day. So that very often will happen.

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And so you just have to find the thing that will work for you. There's something and you just have to have the mindset that there is something that works for you and go with it. Right? And figure out what that thing is. Because the planning is gonna help you with that consistency. The tracking is gonna is going to give you information that your plan is working. Right? It's gonna give you those little little itty bitty steps that you're taking are actually having an impact. You're seeing something happen and that helps give you the motivation to continue to go. Right? Because once momentum is in full swing, I don't even know if you can track it. Right? Right. But you can there's still a lot of things you can track. But it gets you started. I think we'll definitely have to do an episode about what happens once momentum is working. Yeah. Because it's a whole different ballgame than the lead up.

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But I wanted to say, one thing that I have learned especially if you just have a just sorry. Yeah. Just have ADHD. That planning may be difficult for you because the novelty factor required for your daily dopamine dive of I need it to be interesting. Never sinks up.

0:07:16

So if that's the case and planning who's just never worked for you, what you wanna look at is habits. How are you building habits? How are you stacking habits? How are you making them work one after another? Because those can happen whenever. They don't necessarily have to be I checked this box off my list today. Right. Exactly. I'm not a box checker that doesn't do anything for me. I've I don't care. I would not. But that box is to check. I cannot, like I'm like, oh, locker box. That's nice. So okay.

0:07:59

So planning and tracking is just a process really to help you build those habits. Right? Help you be consistent so that you can start to see progress and get a little taste really. It's think of it more like a taste test, a little sample of what it will be like when momentum actually does get into full swing. Right? Because you take an action and then something happens. Right? And and, you know, and that's what you're trying to build to. And the more consistent you can be, the better you know, the more energy you can put into it. Right?

0:08:39

Like, that pushing the boulder up the hill. Like, you can push the boulder up the hill. But if you stop, and you're standing there with this boulder. Your arms are gonna get tired and you're gonna let the boulder. You're gonna get up this far and you're gonna release the boulder because you just can't and they're holding the dang thing all day, and then it's gonna come back down to the ground.

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And then you're essentially starting from scratch all of the time. And that tends to be why most people don't actually get to the momentum in full swing. Because they don't take enough consistent action on a regular basis to keep the bolder moving up. They take some actions, the boulder comes here, and they rest, and then they let go of the boulder when it comes back down to the ground. So that's why you're not getting anywhere because you're always starting over and always starting over. And if you're always starting over, you can't momentum's impossible.

0:09:38

So, what are we doing to prevent that starting over? Well, I mean, you know, that's a whole conversation prior. Why you'd be calling me out like that? Okay. So there's a lot of contributing factors to starting over that like, some of those things might be some of the stuff we talked about. Right? Like, you need to figure out how to plan better, how to track better, you've got to figure out those habits. That very well could be why you're starting over. That's one area of why you're starting over.

0:10:21

Another area of why you're starting over all the time could be you know, you you you have inflated expectations of what results you should be getting and how quickly you should be getting them. So especially for those of us with like ADHD or other neurodiverse situations, you if it's not, like, exciting you in that moment, it's like, oh, well, this didn't work. Let me move on to something else or or you're out there on the Internet. And you're hearing people say, oh, I've got, you know, I made a seventy billion figures from this one viral Facebook post I did or what you know, whenever mambo jumbo somebody spouting at you. And so what happens is you now have this unrealistic expectation that you should be able to make this post and, like, everything's gonna happen for you, and that it doesn't. So then you go back to the drawing board. Well, that just wasn't the right thing for me. Right? You're always starting over. If you're starting a new business every week, every day, if you're re if you're if you're changing the name of your business, changing your tagline changing your ideal client, changing like, if all of these things are happening, you're never going to get to the starting line of building momentum. You don't even have a freaking boulder yet to push up the mountain. Right? Like, you've got to have the boulder. Once you have the boulder, then we can focus on the planning, the tracking, the habits that, you know, that help you get there.

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One of the best lessons I ever learned about this was, I don't know, twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen, No. Good year. Right. And I changed my Facebook Avatar. That was it. Nobody knew where I was anymore. So all it took. I went from and if you follow me around the Internet, you probably know it. I went from my cat Avatar to the picture of my face. It's the same one. Like, it's the same picture of my face for the last I don't know how how many years old picture is now, like, eight years old now. Nobody recognized me because I went from a cat picture to a picture of my actual face and nobody knew who I was anymore.

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And listen, This sounds stupid, but this is the stuff that brand and brand awareness is built off of. So if you're changing everything all of the time, I guarantee you people don't have enough memory built up around you or what you are or what you offer to even be able to try anything from you because they don't know what yourself. Right. They're and if, you know, there's the same too. If you confuse them, you lose them. Right?

0:13:39

And then there's also the fact that that consistency in the brand and the things that you're talking about also helps build a sense of familiarity with you. And things that are familiar are things that we have more trusted, that we're more comfortable with. Right? If something is new, we automatically are evaluating, oh, this is new. Do I like it? This is new. Is this for me? Do do I trust it? You know, there's always questions with something new. Right? But something familiar feels comfortable. It feels cozy. It feels welcoming. Right? And you trust that more. Right? And you want And when you have that sense of comfort, you're like, oh, well, let me come in here and let me let me look around. Right? Like, you have that familiarity there. So it's important to, you know, figure your shit out and go with it, like, be consistent.

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And I have to ask now, how much of momentum is actually just about trust? I mean okay. So this whole series is about building that connection capital. And you're you know, a whole idea of building that momentum around having that connection capital. That's what the connection capital is. That's the capital. Is part of that is that trust, that relationship that you've built up, and the familiarity that people have with you and comfort and the trust that they have in you, that is really gonna go a long way to get your momentum going and to keep it going. To keep it going.

0:15:29

I mean, you still have to put in a little bit of effort. That's a whole another conversation. Because you always have to be putting in some level of effort. But the level of effort that you put in gets easier because, like, think about it. Right? Like, my phone alarm I'm I'm on that alarm three minutes before it goes off. So it's getting easier and I'm getting faster. It's the same alarm. The first time it went off, I was like, oh, you know, like a five minute reminder. Right? Like, putting the delay. Right? Oh, because snooze. Right? Doing that. But now I'm on it three minutes ahead of time. Right? So you get faster at it. It gets easier for you to do it over time as well. So it's not as it doesn't take as much energy anymore to do a lot of the same thing. So you all you're always gonna have to put some level of energy in it. But that level of energy just is much easier for you at that point so that you can just keep it going.

0:16:24

But you have to build those relationships. Trust is a huge part of it, especially nowadays. Like, oh my gosh, there's just so much BS out there. Like, we want to be around people and businesses and do business with people that we trust, right, that know like and trust is a big part of connection capital. And you just and you need that. And if you're constantly changing what you do and who you are and what you're saying and what you're talking about and can't people are too confused. They don't trust it. Right?

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And here's an here's an example. There are somebody who I really liked as a person and I knew them fairly well and I liked them and they had a particular business. And I was into it. And I was learning about it and I was doing it. And then all of the sudden, they started doing this different thing. And I'm like, oh, Okay? And I was disappointed. I was like, oh, okay.

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And then but then all of the sudden, they would come out with an offer about that thing that I was interested in before. And I'm like, are they doing that? Are you still doing this? Like, I was a little confused. And, like, I wanted to buy into it. But I wasn't sure if they were gonna stay with it because they were over here doing this other thing, which was totally, like, not even connected to that other thing. Like, it wasn't even in the same universe as it. Okay? And then they stopped doing that thing that I was into altogether and they were doing this other thing. And then, I don't know, months later, they're back to that other thing again. And they're reaching out to me like, hey, do you want it? And I'm just like, no.

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And I liked that person and I liked that thing, but I didn't go with it because I'm not gonna invest time and money and energy into something that I feel like this other person is gonna walk away from in any given moment, and I didn't trust it. And that person lost business for me because of it. You know, I'm not naming and shaming anybody about that. I'm just saying, and I like the person. I still like this person. But I'm not I'm not giving that person my my money or my time or energy because I don't trust that they're gonna stick with it. Like, if it's a little change, that's different. Right? If it's in the same realm, you know, that's something else. We all have to go through testing our messaging, testing our ideal client, there's things, but you still build that familiarity because you're still it's still the same industry. It's still the same niche. It's still the same sort of general area. That still makes sense. It's not as confusing.

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And this is not saying don't be who you are online. Please do be who you are. That is a big part of the attract and repel that is necessary, is being who you are, And you'll find that it's also the strongest part of what people will say they trust about you and what people will find propellant about you. Mhmm. Like, people say to me, I love how you smoke pot on calls, Brian. And I'm like, oh, great. I just was gonna anyway. I was gonna do it anyway. But at the same time, I have had more than one person now who has been very opposed to all of that. Than you are not my person. That's all. Yeah.

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I think one of the things that we have to look at when it comes to trust is consistency. Right? I trust you because you're saying and doing the same things over and over and over again. How do we develop consistency without getting tired of hearing our self talk? That's a good question. So first of all, except the fact that you're probably gonna get here tired of hearing yourself Okay? Like, accept that as part of the reality.

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Because one of the things that happens is that I say the same thing over and over and over again. And I hear myself say it every time I say it. The people that I'm saying it to, they don't hear it every time I say it. And even if they see me saying it, they might not it might not be registering because they're, you know, they're my ADHD brain or whatever, and they're scrolling. And it it just kind of goes by and they don't even it doesn't even register for them. Right? So other people aren't hearing it. Like, you might be getting sick of yourself. But don't let that deter you that other people are. Right? Because I think we tend to make that connection. If I'm tired of hearing it, they're tired of hearing it. And that is not at all true because they have not heard you say it nearly as often as you've actually said it or heard yourself say it. So if they say that right now, they are not tired of hearing you say it. They need to hear you say it more and over and over again in order to believe you.

0:21:49

Like, used to be someone needed to come in contact with your messages, like, seven to ten times in order for it to really register and for them to start to feel like they understood or would take an action. Now that's more than doubled. It's close to twenty plus times now that someone has to. And that's because there is so much shit coming at us in every different direction all of the time. We have so many messages, so much marketing, so much stuff. We have so many notifications, my and my alarms. Right? Like, every all of these things are distracting us. Even people that do not have ADHD have ADHD moments happening when they're online because so much stuff is coming at you. So no nobody's hearing the message that many times. Number one. So get that out of your head. That is not a thing. Nobody is tired of hearing you. And if they are, good by Felicia. Like, that's it.

0:22:46

Well, and I trust you more when you're saying the same things over and over. I believe that you actually know what you're talking about. Yes. Additionally, I really find that period of repeating myself a lot. To be clarification and allowing me to really refine my message. It gives me all the time and space I need to go, oh, I'd actually rather say it this way and not that way. Exactly. And you find more things to relate it to. Right? You're saying the same thing over and over again.

0:23:22

When you have this really consistent message and this is the core of what you do who you are and how you help and all of those things, then what happens is you're living your life day to day and you're doing all of these different things. You start to find ways to make connections with that and the things that are happening in your life every day. So now you have new stories to tell that still share the same message. So the stories can be the interesting bits and pieces that are new and fresh, still the same core concept. Still the same message just related in a different way. Right?

0:23:57

Like, I'm talking about momentum. And right now, I'm talking about pushing a boulder up a dang mountain and you gotta have some muscles and you gotta be consistent to get that boulder to the top so that it can roll down. And another time, I will use a different story. You know, we can be talking about the swing. We could be talking about, there's all different kinds of stories that we can relate to momentum. And going out into the world and living my dang life, I will have I will make because I'm always talking about momentum because that's a key piece of what I do and what I talk about, I am going to be looking at situations where momentum like, was built or happened or was achieved in a certain thing that maybe has nothing to do with business at all. Right? Because pushing a boulder, like, whatever. Right? That doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the business. But you have different new fresh things to talk about. Even though it's the same message, and you can do that. And it's I recommend that you do to do that. New stories. Same message. New story's same message.

0:25:04

So what are the ways that you can practice the development of new stories. Tell them. You can it depends on on, like, what you you know. Feel out, you know, who are you? Like, what how do you like to do things? Sometimes the only way you know if you really like something is if you actually put it out there to the world. Like, if you say it out loud and other people hear you say it and you're like, That felt good. Then, you know, you're onto something.

0:25:42

If you say it out loud, other people hear you say it and you go, oh, god. Why did I say that? Then, like, you know, you can switch it up. That's one way of doing it. Now if that is, like, if you're looking at me right now going heck. No, Alice. I am not saying anything out loud. Around other people, then you can write it out. You're if you like writing, you can write it out.

0:26:05

You can find Briar and I are part of an amazing community. Called the catalyst. And inside that community, we have a very safe space to be able to share our stories and get really kind, but forthright feedback from from our peers, from our colleagues, from our friends. And it's very helpful to have that if you do. So you could do that as well. You could always also one of the things that I used to do before I was comfortable just blurting things out in public was I would record myself on my own camera saying it. Right? Give myself the talk. And then I'd watch it back and see how I felt about it too. So there so there's a few different ways that you can do that for sure. I'd like to add this incredibly helpful tip that I believe it was Marissa who told me our catalyst founder. My affiliate link y'all is briar harvey dot com slash catalyst because, Julie, it's my favorite place in business to be.

0:27:17

What she said was take your audio recordings, whether they're in auto or on video, get a transcription, and then take that transcription over to chat, EPT, and have them make it cogent for you? I'm like, oh, that's amazing. I may do a lot more writing that way now. I'm playing with it this week. We'll see how it goes. Yes. I also I'm I've been, yeah, playing with AI a lot too. That's a whole we could have a whole conversations around that. It's fun. It's exciting. Yes. It's a new toy. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yes. Yes. Yes.

0:27:52

But, yeah, there's lots of ways that you can practice what you're talking about in order to start to feel comfortable with it. But, you know, at some point in order to get comfortable with it regardless of how you start, whether it's writing or recording yourself or chatting with your friends or network about it, At some point, you are gonna have to put the message out there to other people. Other people are gonna have to experience it, and you're gonna have to experience other people experiencing it to know whether it's something that feels right for you and for them. So part of momentum is gaining experience with the particular activity or thing that you're looking to develop. When we are getting that experience. What should we do to make sure that we're capturing that in the most efficient way? Well, I guess that's where this is where the tracking comes in. Right? Right. This is the tracking piece in case you didn't notice that. Transition. So well, it depends on what the thing is. It depends on who the people are and where you're at. But you know, certain you you track whatever metrics are important to you that you feel like are gonna show you the thing that you need to know. So if you're trying to build an audience and grow an audience, I highly recommend we should put a link to Catalyst Connect audience building, which is happening on Wednesday. Oh, that's alright. Wednesday. I'll go check that out. Yeah. You can get tickets for that.

0:29:54

If you're building an audience, if that's like a core goal that you have to build this audience, around this idea, then, you know, obviously, you're gonna track how many people are following and liking your page or your whatever. How many subscribers you have, whatever that specific number is. And you do wanna see consistent growth with that. And along with so for example, if it's email, let's say you're growing your email list and that's the audience that you're building. As you grow your list, and you wanna see those incremental increases that it's growing a little bit day by day, week by week, month by month, but you also wanna be checking, like, your open rates. You wanna make sure that those open rates are are are pacing it. Right? Like, you don't wanna have all of the sudden, you know, you had a twenty percent open rate. And now your email list has a thousand more people on it, and you now have a twelve percent open rate. Right? You don't want the open rate to drop. You know? And you also need to know what good numbers are people you need to know. And actually, that's one of the big things I'm gonna be talking about in the Catalyst Connect event.

0:31:14

Is about those numbers because it's really important to have the right expectations of what those numbers look like. And most people don't because we see, as Brian and I were talking about earlier, you get all of this hype from other people on the Internet, and so you think that's what you should be expecting, but it's not. It's never what you should be expecting. Thing. What you wanna expect starting from scratch is just any any freaking improvement is good at this point. Right? I don't care if it's one subscribe new subscriber a day. I don't care if it's one new like or follow. All improvements are good. Now, obviously, you want to get more than one a day, totally reasonable goal to have more than one new person a day. Then you have to do a little bit more. Right? But you've got the one, so that's a step in the right direction. Right? You know? Yes. And y'all, it's so slow when you're starting from the beginning. Yes.

0:32:14

And it's a little bit harder today than we had it, say, back in twenty thirteen. Oh, right. That was a good year. Right? That was a good year for growing audiences. That was a good year for all kinds of things. Heck twenty sixteen was a better year for growing audience. This than twenty twenty three is. Okay?

0:32:35

And there are people out there. You say, oh, well, they have this many people. Here's the thing. They could have bought that audience. You don't want that. A lot of people that have audiences today, some of the biggest names in the industry, they built those audiences back in twenty ten, twenty thirteen. Like, when it was easier, like, you could put your own money on social media back them. Right? That's when they built their audience. They did all of the work then, and now they have the momentum Now they have the momentum that that audience has given them for them to keep going and growing and it's just a well oiled machine now. Except they built that on yesterday's algorithms. Right? You have to build that on today's algorithms in its ten times harder. And I'm not saying that to discourage you. I'm saying it that so that you know when you grow by that one, that's still a big deal. Celebrate that win.

0:33:35

And it's really important for you to be aware of how this. So my personal between list and social media. I'm at, like, twenty k now, give or take a few people, few platforms. And I'm sure there's a lot of overlap in there. Right? But as I'm building this brand new neurodiversity media network. Let me tell you every time I get a new subscriber, it's a party. Because I'm still under a hundred subscribers total. Despite my own very large sizable audience. And it's April, now, so I've been doing this for four months, and I'm still under a hundred subscribers, and I'm talking about a damn near daily.

0:34:30

Like, this is just what the work is at this stage. And it's not impossible. It's not insurmountable. But you gotta really be aware of how much more work it's going to take you at this stage. Absolutely. You have to put you have to put in the effort. I mean, regardless, you know, our metaphor for today is pushing the bolder up to hill. I mean, pushing a boulder at the hill is some dang hard work. Okay? This is not, you know, it's not pushing the boulder down the hill. But you do the hard work upfront so that you can let that baby roll on down the mountain. Right? You do the hard work upfront so you can let it roll down the mountain. And that's not to say that there's not a lot of work to be done once you have that momentum.

0:35:17

And Brian and I have already said, we'll have a deeper conversation and what that looks like in another time. It's just different work. Right? It's just different. There's, you know, it's not better, it's not worse, it's just different.

0:35:33

And I think it's really important as you are in the building process to be aware of how many times Billy Gene has retired. Like, maybe Maybe not that one specifically. But what I'm saying is you gotta be aware of how many of these people who have come before you are in fact using the same tricks and tools over and over and over again because it works for them. Billie Jean retires because that clearly works for him. We're laughing, but the man has more going out of business sales than I have going into business sales. So clearly, I think it's important that you understand what will work for you is not gonna be the same as what works for everyone else. Mhmm. Absolutely. And that's and that's where the testing comes in. Right? So You have this balance of where you want that consistency. Right? Because you wanna build the familiarity. You wanna have the plan. You wanna track because you wanna take those steps forward.

0:36:55

But that whole process of building momentum is the testing. Right? You're testing how you say these messages. You're testing which tools and which way that you say it works best. You're testing which ideal client Does this message resonate with the best? You're testing all of those bits out. That's part of pushing the boulder up the hill. That's why it's so hard. To push it up the hill is because you're testing and you're seeing what hits and what misses and what doesn't. Because then once you get that boulder to the top of the hill, What that means is you've done all the testing bits. Right? You now know what message resonates with what ideal client. You know which platform works best for you. You know which tactics work best for you. You've figured all of that stuff out as part of the journey, and now you can just drop that bit, that boulder down the mountain and let it roll. Because you did all the work. It's testing. It's a process.

0:37:59

And that's the only way you're ever gonna get better -- What? -- is the testing. I have to have to know Which thing works better in order to be able to double down? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Before you're gonna invest in ads or spend money on things -- Mhmm. -- before you're gonna hire up more help or start contracting out work, or bring on in a business manager or a virtual assistant or whatever before you're gonna start investing a lot more money and time and resources into something, you have to know it's working. And you have to know which works best. That doesn't mean that once you find that thing that works, that you're not gonna have to tweak that and keep track of it and test out other things along the way because you still will you just want it just won't be as much work to do it. Right? Because you've done a lot of the legwork upfront. A lot of it. Now you have to stay on top of it. Is what happens when the thing stops working another episode? I mean, that is a whole that's a whole series. Least another another episode in this series. Because it's it's important to note that at some point, Billie Jean won't be able to retire in That that's not gonna work for it. Right. But as long as things are working, as long as your momentum continues to build, then it's about doubling down on what is working and making small changes to the greater whole.

0:39:50

So, Alice, how do we along with knowing what good numbers actually are? How do we tell that progress is being made in the right direction? Well, first, you have to know what direction you're going, I guess, is the true one of the idea of things. You have to know where you wanna go. Because all too often we get started on something and we're just getting started. We have no idea what destination we want.

0:40:23

And that's really important because I did this to myself once upon a time and I started a business that I had no idea what I wanted out of it or what direction I was going in. And I put in a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of in energy and I had a lot of clients and I was making money and I was freaking miserable because I was on a hamster wheel because I didn't know where I was going. So I was literally running in circles, not a fun place to be. So I had to leave that behind. So you definitely need to know what the end goal here is. Right? So it could be that Besides ten figure Eleven on eleven b failures. Right. Right. Like, do you wanna sell this business? Right? Do you wanna get it to the point where you can sell it and leave a b? Right? Is this business leading to something else? Right?

0:41:15

So you can have a lot of goals, but you you really need to know where it is that you're going so that you can set what those milestones look like. Right? And you use those milestones, you take that work back plan that we were talking about before, and you set those milestones for yourself so that you know you're going in the right direction. If you're not if something else is happening, if you're making money, Right? And you're going along, but you're not hitting certain milestones that you thought you would be hitting, then you need to really look at what you're like, what's happening? Did I set the wrong milestones here? You know? Am am I really making money or does it just feel like I'm making my, like, you have to take a look at what that what's happening there. You just have to be aware of it. You don't have to look That works back. Plan was we went into a lot of detail with that one in the last episode of this series.

0:42:12

So I've linked that in the comments because, really, if you don't know how to start with a goal, and work backwards from it, then it's a skill that you need to develop in order to make milestones. Alternatively, once again, If you don't have an in goal in mind, your best bet is to create and build habits that will give you that burst of dopamine. But at the end of the day, that's only going to get you so far without knowing where you're going. It'll get you dopamine. It may not get you results. Correct.

0:42:55

And I think that's the last thing I wanna talk about today. How do our people, Alice, develop the it's it's not about work ethic. Right? And it's not even about an ability to plan. How do I develop an understanding of what I want the goal to be when I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning? Yeah. I yeah. I mean so here's here's kind of here's what I've been doing lately because I've been going through a lot lately. I've had a lot of big changes in my life. Bryor and I were just talking about that earlier today too. And I've had a lot of big changes and I'm going through a lot changes because I'm a lady of a certain age as well. So I'm going through those changes on top of all of these other changes. Right? I'm, you know, so much happening.

0:44:00

And I really like, I had to reevaluate what I want in my life and and where I'm going and what that looks like. And so I start looking at what okay. So what does my perfect day look like? Just think just I mean, get like, let's not talk about what five and ten freaking years looks like, like, holy macra, like I cannot even right now. Okay? Like, but I can look at what would my perfect day right now today look like? What would I be doing? Who would I be with? Where would I go? What would I eat? What would I be wearing? You know? Am I inside? Am I outside? Like, just just map out what your perfect day looks like. Just start there. Start with what that is. Because that's gonna tell you a lot about yourself. It's gonna tell you a lot about what makes you feel good. And it's gonna tell you a lot about how to set goals so that you can achieve that perfect day every single day. Every single day. Like, start there. If you're struggling with that, start there. If you need help with that, NMM collaboration.

0:45:15

The operator has lots of ordinary day planning. It's in her planner. Let me know. We'll hook you up with it. It's really I think the first step to being able to have a clear understanding of where you're going. Is knowing what I want from just a normal day. From a normal day. Yep. What does a normal day look like? And then and then if you start to get comfortable with what a normal day looks like, what does what does, like, a special day look like? What would that include? Right? Like, just, you know, start small. Like, what's the perfect you know, if a perfect day is is is too much? What's the perfect morning look like? What's the perfect evening look like? Right? You can just you can break it down into even the most micro moments and how you would achieve those.

0:46:20

And it's really important to be clear about the difference between planning what your ideal day looks like versus trying to suddenly adopt that. Right? If your ideal day bears no resemblance to your current actual day, then you're not gonna get there overnight. This too is about momentum. Mhmm. What are the small steps that you can start with that will get you there? Exactly. What are the small steps? And what is like, maybe it's about again, what's the perfect how do you wanna wake up every day? What's your perfect way to wake up. You know, like, maybe it just starts with that or what's the perfect way to end your day? Like, maybe that's what it starts with. You pick a thing or, you know, and you can start that small, that small. But it does help you figure out who you are in what you really want in life when you think about what because that's that implementation. Right? What am I doing every single day? That's feels good. And, truly, if this is something that you even struggle imagining what an ordinary day could look like, then pick the thing that feels the most icky.

0:47:53

If you are a revenge, bedtime, procrastinator, and staying up late, Figure out a bedtime. Figure out a bedtime routine. If your mornings are the kiss of death, figure out how to make mornings easier. Mhmm. Yeah. And this is where you start always. For your own life, And for momentum in general, I have always found it to be easiest to figure out what would make pushing this boulder up the hill easier. Yeah. Let me throw this rope around it. Right. Let me let me get a lever. Yeah.

0:48:44

Whatever those things are, figure out how to make the process easier because that's gonna make getting momentum easier too. Absolutely. There's no like, listen. There's no shortcut. Right. There's no instant momentum. There's no magical drink or secret sauce or anything that's just gonna make it happen for you. However, there are certainly things that you can do that can make it easier for you. Right? And the things that make it easier for you may not make it easier for me. Right? These are things that are unique and specific to you. So there are things you could do to make it easier for yourself. There are things that you can do to make it harder for yourself. So look at what those things are, which is what Briar's point is here. Look at what the things that you're doing that are making it harder for you to get that momentum. And then get rid of those things that are making it harder. I mean, at the very least, get rid of the things that are making it harder. At the very least. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, Yale.

0:49:55

Alice, what are we talking about next time? We are talking about let's see. Today, I think we're expecting momentum So I think momentum, expectations, I mean, we did talk a little bit on that today, but we're gonna dive a little bit deeper into what some of the things that you can expect from momentum. And I think it's gonna go into a little bit of that area of, like, first of all, knowing when you've got the momentum. Right? Like, knowing when that hits, what is that point? What and what is that? What does that look like? Mhmm. And I think that it's really important here to be aware that right before the boulder falls off the mountain on the other side, you're gonna get some wobble. Tetering, tiering is scary. And it it and it is it is very scary. So we'll talk a lot about how to internalize that process so that you are taking care of yourself. Especially if you are on the autistic side of neurodivergence, this portion of the process is going to be the part where you may well likely want to quit because it feels emergent all of the time. Like, there's a catastrophe just lurking around the corner And if you don't stop what you're doing, something really bad is gonna happen. So we'll talk about how to build safeguards and and how to really feel safe in your momentum. Yes. Yes. Anxiety is a thing, and I suffer from that. So I Mhmm. Yep. Yes. We will discuss. Fabulous. It's gonna be amazing. I do.

0:52:13

Alice, thank you for being here. Today, y'all. This has just been another chapter in exactly what we are building here at the neurodiversity media network. This is everything that you're gonna need to know about creating and sustaining momentum as you go forward in your life and in your business. And if you would like to see more of this work, we invite you to subscribe. That's the neurodiversitymedia network dot com. Paid subscribers, get access to a bunch of bonus features, all of courses in one page, a couple of private streams. For less than a cup of coffee a day, You can join us as a paid subscriber of the neurodiversity media network. Link is in the comments Thank you so much for being here y'all, and we will see you next time. Have a great day. Bye now. Bye for now.

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