0:00:03 - Briar
Ha there we go.
Hello, welcome. I am Briar Harvey. This is the neurodiversity media network and we are here today with the fabulous Alex Watt. We are it's episode five of the maiden mother wise one sequence, and today is about the wise one. Yeah, so we're going to talk about menopause, croning, all of the fun stuff. I also want to recommend that you find the interview I did. It's in voices of neurodiversity. I'll link it in the show notes with Karina Blackheart, the crone herself, who's delightful. We're going to focus on the scientific aspect, of which there is little, because we do not study women And we've talked about that a lot on this show at this point in time.
I feel, but it's a really damaging thing here.
0:01:11 - Alex
Yeah, Welcome. Yeah, thanks, I'm so excited to be here not to talk about this like I am excited to talk about it, but I feel like this should be something we already talk about.
0:01:22 - Briar
Right. This is really damaging to women, because when we are not fuckable, we are invisible, and when we are invisible, we do not deserve or get the actual medical treatment that we require, and this is a running theme, especially for women of color or women who are impoverished, women in other minority or disadvantaged intersectionalities. This is a problem, and it continues to be. In fact, i would argue has gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years, and so it's really an issue.
0:02:16 - Alex
And also I'm noticing that, like the label for menopause and the label that doesn't fit the general population, therefore it's not what people think it is. So then you're overlooked. You're overlooking this whole category of women who are struggling with stepping into the crone era, but not identifying as crone.
0:02:37 - Briar
Because that's terrible. Nobody wants to be a crone in any way, shape or form.
0:02:44 - Alex
And, for instance, someone who is like me you're not wanting to identify as a crone when you're in your 20s, not letting people know that like oh, by the way, everything that a woman's supposed to be, i'm not anymore, And so trying to open up those doors so people can communicate and talk about it. When I say I started menopause at 28, people are blown away. They do not believe it.
0:03:08 - Briar
No, i know Like surely you must be mistaken about what's happening in your own body, alex.
0:03:17 - Alex
Surely I must not know, but the reality is is when I had my hysterectomy and I started to go bald, i was like over here.
0:03:26 - Briar
Oh, wow.
0:03:27 - Alex
Yeah, yeah, big ball patches like large. And the common answer to that solution was like lower your stress, lower your stress, you don't have menopause, just lower your stress. And then once I ran a menopause blood work, i was like, actually, right here, everything is wrong, nothing is the where it should be, not even close. I'm not just losing my hair, i am hot. I can't eat. Things bother me. Sensory things that I struggled with as a neurodivergent person were then heightened. I was even more aware of things. Sounds were a big one for me, texture two on my skin. And then we go into, like the periods before when I had a womb versus, i still had all the period feeling without period. So the extreme ovary pain for myself. My breasts were tender, my lower back, you name it, and then it's like your libido tanks.
0:04:26 - Briar
I did, we're definitely not talking about that.
0:04:30 - Alex
Why would we? And then wanting it to, wanting to feel normal again, wanting to feel that I wanted to sexually engage or even feel pleasure, because I'm a very pleasurable person. It was something that I wanted back and it's all I got was, while you're there, no answers, no resources. No, no suggestions. It was just like you're there, this is just the next part of your life. Have fun.
0:04:54 - Briar
Have fun, enjoy. We stopped giving women progesterone, which is a incredibly common hormone therapy, hormone replacement therapy because of one study that found women in their 80s might get cancer if they were given progesterone artificially, which is not when premenopausal women in particular could use hormone replacement therapy. And like this one really blows my mind, because it's almost cruel, the way in which we withhold something that is not in any way harmful to us, that would materially improve our lives, but one study, which has since been disproved multiple times, said it might give you cancer and so doctors will not recommend HRT now.
0:06:06 - Alex
But you literally have to beg and they still refuse most of the time. But if you are a young girl they'll say oh, you have hard periods, let's put you on birth control. They will hand that out like candy to people. Yet us who are struggling with hormone imbalance have to actually fight to get any kind of support, and for me they were like well, we took out your uterus because of cancerous issues in the future, so we don't want to do that. We left you ovaries.
0:06:40 - Briar
Oh well, great Thanks.
0:06:42 - Alex
Great. One more thing that's not working. Thank you.
0:06:47 - Briar
It's like a party favor. I didn't ask for.
0:06:50 - Alex
Pretty much, yeah, i and it's like I didn't also ask for the hysterectomy. That was just the end game for everything I was struggling with. The endometriosis had been so bad and had so many struggles.
0:07:02 - Briar
I didn't choose that either, but previous to that, And we know too with endo, like early prophylactic treatment in our teens when we're making it up that we're having hard periods with painful cramping right, we can't win, no matter what we do here.
0:07:25 - Alex
No. And then there's been beautiful studies on HRT how it's helped women go through perimenopause functioning, feeling good, still sleeping, and it's lasting that there's a gap now where perimenopause used to be from five to 10 years. It's like it's pushing it past that a little bit. Yet. To get that you have to fight for things, and this is a commonality when we're talking about women, where we're fighting for our rights continuously And it doesn't stop at menopause. And as a neurodivergent, can you imagine we don't sleep very good most of us anyway. Some of us can't sleep with trash, then add being hot all night and emotional. So then we're going back into and then it's like, of course, our mental health tanks. We right It's. But then the common things is like well, you have depression and you have this is just from menopause or same after motherhood, you just have motherhood anxiety. No, my coping skills and my body are not regulating together And you are not supporting that. You're just slapping a bandaid on it, calling it what it is and moving on.
0:08:33 - Briar
So let's start. We've gotten the ran out of the way I hope a little bit of it. Let's start with what the early perimenopause symptoms are.
0:08:52 - Alex
So early perimenopause symptoms can look like or not be. So this is just a list we're going to go through. You may have some, you may not have periods or not being regular, or they're starting to taper off and you're getting shorter windows. Migraines, so similar to like things we already struggle with, or heavy bleeding. It can go other way. It can go really light bleeding or extra heavy bleeding. You can start once again.
Hot flashes, sensory rashes on your body, breast tenderness or firming. The sleep is like the big one sleep regulation, because you no longer sleep at night, you're just hot and you're moody mood swings. You can also find that you're not excited about things you used to be like. Things that you used to think are passionate or a hobby or fun, no longer give you that like that good hype, good energy, the dopamine hit that we chase We all chase as humans. We do right but you start to like, lose enjoyment in life And then the low libido is the biggest one. You start to feel not into sex or not interested. You're not feeling horny, emotional about you can be emotional about it. It can be like when you, when we, first lose our virginity. There's that time where it's kind of there's a lot of emotions attached to it. You can go back to that vaginal dryness. You can also find that you have bacteria more often down there because your body's not releasing the blood most.
0:10:23 - Briar
That's a big one that I never heard mentioned. The number of yeast infections has increased significantly, And I wish someone had said Hey, this is the thing that you should pay attention to.
0:10:41 - Alex
Yeah, and it's funny because when you talk to older people, they'll just tell you like, well, our family told us to just go to the washroom after we have sex Or just, and it's like, but you're struggling with these issues and it's telling you that your vaginal pH there's something off there and that's just like a key to your stepping into the next stage of your life And there's it varies on people sometimes who get food and versions. You wouldn't think so and you almost feel like you're pregnant. So it's like a food inversion or a smell inversion, and so, because the symptoms are so wide, based on different people, it's often overlooked as something else.
0:11:21 - Briar
Or you know, just hysteria, Just being crazy women.
0:11:28 - Alex
Why would we know what our bodies are doing?
0:11:32 - Briar
So that's a really it's a broad list of symptoms to which I was going. Oh, yeah, shit, a lot of this. A lot of this checks out And what. What happens now? because we know that the health care system for all of us, it doesn't matter where you are. There are a few countries in Europe where the health care system is not antagonistic in this regard lucky you. But for the rest of us, your health care is likely to be very antagonistic when it comes to getting the treatment and advocacy that you need. So let's talk about how we go about doing that.
0:12:17 - Alex
This is a conversation ahead of client this morning. I think the biggest thing to remember when you're advocating for yourself is you have to switch. They work for you, that's it. They work for you and you have to approach very positively in a way like that This is what I'm going through, this is what I would like, this is what I need And when they push back, you can be like I can validate. Everything on that list is exactly what I need. Asking for blood work Blood work shows. Sometimes it's hard because based on cycle times during a month, but blood work will show where areas are dipping low, like we are becoming cortisol resistant. That's going to show in our blood work. But you really have to put on your assertiveness hat or they overlook you. They'll tell you oh, would you like an antidepressant, because you might just be a little bit sad. Have you tried birth control?
0:13:08 - Briar
I'm 40 years old, so this is a place where our neurodivergent humans struggle. Let's talk about very specifically, then, what this looks like and how you want to go to your doctor.
0:13:25 - Alex
So for neurodivergent people that I have worked with, or women, even in postpartum women, i'm like make a list, make a list of your symptoms so that you know for yourself. You don't have to be like they're talking to you And as neurodivergent people, we may think that we're going crazy a little bit or we're wrong, because we're talking and we're seeing the look on their face and we're reading those people immediately. So having a list that validates everything that you're going through is really important because if you don't feel like you can talk it out, you at least have a list to prove to them. Not that you have to prove to them, but just to be like dick, i got it right here, right, really, going in on a good day, don't go in on a day that you feel rushed. Advocate for yourself.
You know if you're having a bad day, don't feel pressure that you have to follow through with this. But we also need to remember that healthcare is self care in some aspects. The better we feel, the better we can regulate. But it is really hard, because most of us are going to mask, to go into that. So that's when I say, like, try to put on your like villain mask. Be like you, work for me and hype yourself up for it, because I feel so crappy when I say this. But if we don't advocate for ourselves or our children, nobody else is.
0:14:41 - Briar
That's correct, and there are places where I absolutely advise you seek out a patient advocate, because those roles exist. If you are in an emergent situation, especially if you are in a hospital, please always ask for a patient advocate, even if you don't think that you need one. Yes, ask for one.
0:15:07 - Alex
Yes, for in Canada we can also ask a receptionist to sit in on our appointments. If it's a woman, so there's that other thing. So if it's a comfort level of that is a masculine presenting in front of you that you don't feel comfortable with as a doctor, you can ask for them to sit with you to.
0:15:25 - Briar
I believe we have the same requirement here in the States of needing a nurse if it's a male doctor and you would like to have a female present.
0:15:36 - Alex
But I found that because they are nurses here too, the LPNs they will advocate with you. They listen more because they have the same parts as we do. They're willing to listen, if that makes sense. It's like a more supportive energy. Also, you can ask the social worker. Social workers, they're not just for what people think they are, they advocate for people's rights and they give resources and they have such help. They can also sit in with you. They can also say well, if you understand what they're saying, if it's medical terminology, and break it down slowly and better for you.
0:16:11 - Briar
One of the things that I think happens a lot for marginalized people is that they assume that asking for help will be seen as a measure of their proficiency, as in not having enough. I think, in fact, the opposite is true.
0:16:39 - Alex
And so, also just because it's part of something I do, because I have the trauma, asking for somebody's help is then trusting that they have our best interest at heart, that they are not going to let us down like other people have. So to us it feels like weakness, but there is so much power in that because they help you to understand and not carry the load. But carry the load in that moment, and I totally agree with you, briar, but it's hard to find spaces to be able to ask, right.
0:17:11 - Briar
I have a whole show about that with Maurice Lohan Ask for help. One of the things that is really important here is that you need to know ahead of time potential treatments that you would like to explore, potential tests that you would like to have done, and you need to be able to have concrete evidence for what would make those tests or procedures or drugs valid. So how do you advocate people work through this process?
0:17:56 - Alex
So I always tell from the beginning try to track your period. If you're not getting a period, try to still track when you feel those energy dips We all feel them, You'll feel it and then you might get caught like your ovaries cramp, lower back pain, just to track that. So when they ask you because some work, blood work has to be done on certain days And first thing in the morning, lots of blood work. What people don't understand is like we have to fast 12 hours for hormones because anything we eat or what we do makes them bounce back around. So tracking your period so that you know, because they're going to ask that's like. They're like when was your last period? And if you don't know, that's okay. But being able to advocate, I know this is when I should get blood work for FSH at seven days or 15, then they know they take it to value because they're like she's done her work. And then I would also say once again, write down your symptoms. Have that all go For me.
When I started losing my hair it was like patches this big. So I'm like well, look, this is, I'm going bald. And so having all those resources to be able to show them immediately helps them, Validating, knowing that, like, are you comfortable with actually being on hormone replacement therapy? Is that something you want to do? Or is there another option you would like to look, Because now they're noticing that, like certain medications that are actually for other things actually help women in other areas, Like endo and Pico treatment is not actually endo and Pico treatment, And so, being open it takes a lot of research and there's not a lot out there And I'm sorry for that. So sometimes it's trial and error. They will offer you a solution and it may not work, But we're going in there to be like this is what I need. This is how I feel Something's not right. Please, like, take it seriously.
0:19:52 - Briar
So something that I always recommend for people with chronic illness or who are managing especially their children's chronic health conditions is that you create yourself a binder and that you have all of your medical records in them. You have all of your test results, you have all of your documentation, and you can get this from your doctors. You can compile it yourself. Your medical records belong to you. This is a thing that people really struggle with. Anything that's documented about you in any way, shape or form belongs to you. You have a right to ask for them and you have a right to have copies of them. You may have to pay for them, but they belong to you.
0:20:46 - Alex
You also have a right to question the stuff that's documented in there, because if there is something they do not disclose to you but is documented in your chart, you have every right to question that and ask for further. Why is that there? Because once I obtained my medical records I was like they knew I had endometriosis when I was like 15. Nobody told me that. I wasn't told until 1980.
0:21:18 - Briar
So compiling a binder and I think I'm pretty sure I have a resource for this, a shop on Etsy that has some good workbook pages for this Put it all together in a binder, really be aware of what you've got and what you're asking for And this is hard, i'm not going to deny that putting all of this work together requires an exceptional amount of executive functioning skills, and if this is a place that you struggle, i encourage you to seek out a buddy or a doula A doula who can help you sit and make these calls or pretend to be you.
That is not medical advice, like truly. There are options here for getting your records together and coming off as a person who is advocating for their own care, and when you go in with that mindset, it is much easier to be taken seriously.
0:22:34 - Alex
Absolutely And like for us. When I work with people and they go through their birth, they're given their birth record right there And I'm like put that in a folder, Keep that. You need to know what happened to both you and the baby. You need to keep that into a record. And for my kids, even the one we adopted I have his folder Because when I go in and they try to like, I'm like no, no, no.
Also, I've noticed, because of being women, it's being women that if we have those things then, like you said, they take us more seriously But also them are advocating for things that they may not even they'll overlook. They'll just overlook it And they'll just be like they'll tell you, like I said, once again, you need this or do you want a happy pill or do you want it? It's like no, I had a cyst on my ovary. Could you check if there's still cysts on my ovary? Because that's causing this, this and this. Advocating for yourself. I know 100%, as a person that's neurodivergent and I get burnt out, that advocating for myself is freaking hard. I can advocate the crap for other people, That's no problem, That's like my specialty, no issue, but for myself it's hard.
0:23:40 - Briar
So when I want to. Why?
0:23:40 - Alex
we have to ask for help. Exactly So. It always goes back to like we need to have supports, we need to ask for help. We need to be aware that social workers are not there just to make us feel, you know they get a bad rep, but sometimes they're there for to advocate for us. Mental health support workers. We have people who are going to sit in on appointments with us, who are going to advocate for it. Find a, bring a friend.
Nothing makes a doctor score more than two women in there to talk about menopause. Let me tell you I believe you. Yeah, it was good, but I just needed it because I felt like one of my doctors was talking down to me, that I didn't know what I was going through. But it's not just me who suffers. It's my whole home, my kids, my husband. I'm irritated, i'm tired, i am emotional, and then I just want to burn a village down, and that's not hopeful either, because I'm just everywhere. Everything is unbalanced. So the wheel of my life is just like flat on one spot, so it goes around. It's like oh, we're doing good menopause, oh, we're doing okay, just kidding. So advocating for this.
0:24:53 - Briar
All right. So what are? walk us through potential treatment options. This may not be the right one for you and we're not offering medical advice here. We're saying these are things that you can consider and explore.
0:25:12 - Alex
So for myself they went straight to. Actually, progesterone was a treatment because of having endometriosis and I had already been on it. It actually didn't work for me because I was no longer just struggling with hormonal and I had adrenal fatigue. Of course I do, why wouldn't we write? and my cortisone was not like. I was not tolerant. I could not keep my blood sugars up for the life of me. So then I was took my own medical records into my own hands and I went to a natural path.
Through working with my natural path, i've been on black O'Hosh, i'm on an adrenal fatigue pill, i am on a whole whack load of vitamins And, if I'm honest, my body handles that better. I believe for myself when I went through trying to have children and I believe this is similar to other people who have struggled with it We're fighting for it, we don't fight for it, we're not fighting for it, we're fighting for it, we're fighting for it, we're fighting for it, we're fighting for it. So when we're getting estrogen, progesterone, clomid, all these things, we build a tolerance to it later. So when we have menopause it doesn't work in the way that it does. They'll offer you birth control, which is not what it should do, but it does, and so ablations are another thing that may or may not be offered, but are viable, especially if you are done having children.
They basically cauterize cervix and you can also do I'm as some say. I've you've heard me talk about this as a DNC, where they remove the lining on the inside of the uterus. Similar thing Once again, they may talk to you about actually just having a hysterectomy Cause in Canada. They're becoming a lot chill about that. They're like just get rid of it. The problem is is, once we do get rid of it, it doesn't change the fact that we're struggling with hormone regulation Right, but it you may not get a period, but you're still going to sweat and you're still going to have all these mood imbalances You may not know, the libido, all these things. So it's like this is not always the solution to this.
0:27:27 - Briar
Okay, So um, let's talk. then you mentioned briefly you saw, your naturopath. There are some other good alternative medical solutions here. Name us a few that people can explore.
0:27:48 - Alex
So if you're into like different types of medicine, which is what we're talking about. So then there's a naturopath. You're going to talk about acupuncture. Um, reflexology. People may not believe that, but it actually is really good. Um, massage, because it helps us drain the glands that we are building up in our system, helps everything muscles tight, loosen up Particularly lymphatic massage, and that is a different specialty here in the States.
0:28:14 - Briar
You'll need to find someone who is certified in lymphatic massage.
0:28:19 - Alex
And also in Canada they have Rayner massage, which is similar to lymphatic And, once again, that's certified different too. Uh, cupping is also a thing, where they heat them up and put them on the body. Uh, lots of different. lots of people go to Chinese medicine and Chinese acupuncture. I know that there's benefit in that. So trying these different things, taking a chance and advocating for yourself and reaching out, is going to give you solutions If the medical system has failed you. I highly encourage doing that because there's somebody who can give you some form of relief.
0:28:52 - Briar
And I think, unfortunately, that is the message that we have to leave you with. The medical system is unlikely to be your advocate in this part of your life And, with that being the case, and you requiring to be your own advocate, it's important that you look at alternative solutions if you cannot get where you need to go with traditional medicine.
0:29:26 - Alex
No, and as I was talking with Briar in the past, it's like our crone stage is our longest stage. We deserve to live and be happy and find pleasure and be fulfilled in that. It is not the time to give up and just take what life is throwing at us at that moment, so finding solutions to be able to live again and to feel and try new things, because things that worked before no longer work. But you are still you. you're stepping into this glorious stage of your life where sex can still be fun and That's the key word sex can still be fun and Arousal, and you know, our endgame isn't just always to finish and that's a big conversation too. we need to go back to touch and intimacy and connection and pleasure, and We deserve that as women, even if we're in our crone stage because That is yet another conversation.
0:30:22 - Briar
We do not have pleasure changes during menopause, and orgasm is not as frequent. So, in addition to Finding alternative methods of touch, what are some options for Increasing orgasm or getting libido back?
0:30:51 - Alex
Yeah, so getting I say this and I feel bad, but it's like exposure therapy, it's going back to relearn your whole body and outside of touch is like actually just learning your body. You don't have to touch it, just start to learn it again. Start to be present in your body using toys and lubrication and really allowing yourself to go into those fantasy aspects of your connection with your partner, talking about things. Sponsor.
0:31:19 - Briar
Conversation.
0:31:20 - Alex
It's the worst we don't want to know you don't want to, but what happens when you do Right, we never want to. It's like that line We, we broach it and we're like we know it's fun on the other side, but we want to stay over here. It's time to talk again and This is why relationships tank. During this stage of our lives, we become different people and the other people were with our partners are not willing to learn the new person We're becoming. That's why the communication Using lube right.
0:31:54 - Briar
That's why marriage has such a high divorce rate after the kids have Graduated from high school and college. It's not the empty nest. No, that's the problem. It's the changes in the relationship.
0:32:09 - Alex
Yes, because your main focus has been your children, your family, your center of everything. And then, all of a sudden, you have this free time. I have heard couples when they're older. She's like I don't want to have dinner with you, it's just the two of us. I'm like grumpy too sometimes.
0:32:26 - Briar
Sometimes. But, man, if your partner is not still your best friend, then that is a thing that you need to have an actual conversation about yeah, and if talking is not your thing, time Time together, without distractions, without other things.
0:32:43 - Alex
Sit, crochet, put your feet on his lap. I'm not a foot person, but you know, just sitting in each other's presence and remembering, asking him like what's your favorite color, and they'll look at you. Really what it's like. I'm just trying to learn you. When's the last time you did that? Some couples get the joy of going back to like we're dating again And they go back to their younger ears and others are like I don't even know who I'm sleeping beside, and Then we take that on because our self confidence tanks, because now we're dealing with Menopause and continents, all these other issues that now society tells us is normal, which is not girls and women. It's not. If you have incontinence issues, there's lots of resources for pelvic health and support to get through that and you should not be ashamed of it But it's also not normal. And so when we have this lack and we don't just have to accept.
0:33:39 - Briar
This that's Here is that, while all of these things are happening to your body, you do not just have to accept them as Things that you must suffer through.
0:33:57 - Alex
And so, when we do accept it, all we're doing is going through a grief cycle that we have repeated through our lives. Many of us women that were to anyone who views this women we work with Briar. We have gone through grief cycles in our lives. Why are we doing it again? Why are we going through our longest stage in life That's supposed to be so beautiful and full of pleasure? Whether y'all like it or not, it's gonna be full of pleasure and We're grieving and we're sad and our self-esteem is low and we don't know how to date and we don't know. We don't even know ourselves. That's why I said, like, really relearn yourself. What are you into? What sparks joy? What?
0:34:32 - Briar
do you?
0:34:32 - Alex
hate. Know those answers because when it comes up and you have that conflict, you're able to be like. I've never liked that. I Did that because the kids were around You.
0:34:46 - Briar
And once again, i encourage y'all to go watch my interview with Karina Blackheart. One of the things that is beautiful about being on the other side of menopause is that everything levels out and you have your brain back in ways that you have not had it your entire fucking life, because there are no hormonal cycles anymore and suddenly you get to be whoever you want to be. It's a really enjoyable stage, if you allow it to be So. advocating for yourself during menopause is what is going to get you to the other side, where you get to be a fully formed, fully functional crone And we don't like that word, but we're taking it back.
0:35:48 - Alex
Yes, we're taking it back And we're taking it back. It's like when we talked about the trauma Olympics. I'm like it's not the Crone Olympics either. It's not who's Crone longer or who know. we're building sisterhood in Crone stage. Crone is where we are coming back and roaring back into this world. what we want, that is what that stage is So advocating, so that when we get there because I'm on the tail end of menopause, i know it's going to end soon. It's been a ride, but I'm ready to be off of it and I'm ready to feel normal, as me, as Alex, without all the interference of drugs and other things they wanted to give me.
0:36:28 - Briar
And women who are gifted this time and no more fucks to give because you run out of those.
0:36:39 - Alex
Oh yeah.
0:36:40 - Briar
It's an incredible time of personal development And I really want you to start leaning into this. Our generation is going to have so many incredible women in their 40s, 50s, 60s on out who are doing kick ass things. because we're not stopping and we're not going to go hide in a closet anymore. Just you wait y'all.
0:37:12 - Alex
Yeah Well, we're already seeing it These beautiful women going back, getting multiple degrees, multiple learning, sparking joy in something and taking it up and kicking ass at it. We're already seeing women build these bridges with other women. It is already happening. So I'm just like, look at me sitting here with Briar. It is not the end of it, it is the beginning of big things. As a woman in it, it's the beginning of big things.
0:37:42 - Briar
And I think that that is that's what I'm taking away that it really has changed my perspective on the change The change I want to be able to look forward to it. I think we have a right to look forward to it And when we frame it correctly, it's an actual gift. So I really encourage people to do the work around this part of their life and their cycle and figure out what it means to you. I want you to go out and do those incredible things on the other side of this part of your life And truly there is no better gift than this.
0:38:40 - Alex
No, and it's like our fourth trimester, but for ourselves. Yeah, that's what I've been using, briar, it's our fourth trimesters, but for ourselves. Lie in, eat the food that inspires you, you love. That's naked under the moon, i don't care. Move your body. Sit in hot baths, read This is what more women are taking these and it's I hate self-care. Move stuff, but it's like we're laying in and really giving ourselves what we need. So it's not self-care. It's like we're loving ourselves how we need to be loved, we're touching our bodies how they deserve to be touched, and we're doing the fourth trimester of us.
0:39:24 - Briar
And Amanda said I think we just I have just realized that we have to be at the no fucks to give stage. And that's exactly it. We have to be able to recognize that we deserve to be advocated for.
0:39:43 - Alex
Absolutely 100%. And when we're at the no fucks stage, we don't care if somebody's staring back at us and be like, are you sure We're gonna be like. Yes, i'm sure I know my body And that's why I really say like, put on that mask of like being assertive And if you feel brave, just be like. You work for me. This is my body, you work for me. I'm gonna figure this out. I know it's hard, but once we get there, Yes, okay.
0:40:13 - Briar
So final thoughts on menopause.
0:40:19 - Alex
It's not the change that we need to be scared of. It's the beauty that we get to. It's fricking freedom. It's the time women are quitting their jobs and doing what they really want to do. We don't have to live for other people. We don't have to parent other people. We get to parent ourselves, love ourselves. It is the fourth trimester of us. We get to be whatever the hell we want. It's a new page. Burn the other shit if you want. It's all about you now. Burn it all down. Burn it all down. That's my mood today. Thanks, guys.
0:40:57 - Briar
So next time last episode, sad face we are talking about sexual dysfunction. Give us a little preview of what we're gonna go into here.
0:41:10 - Alex
So we're gonna talk about sexual dysfunction that many people think is actually menopause We just put in that other side note And we're gonna talk about how we can be intimate and connect to our partners without actual having sex, healthy boundaries and how to get our bojo back. If we really want to work on that, So it's gonna be good.
0:41:30 - Briar
I'm excited It's very fun. Thank you y'all. This has been amazing. Alex, You are a gift, and where can people find you?
0:41:41 - Alex
So I'm on Facebook as Alex Watt and I have a Facebook page which is my business page, braided directions, so reach out anytime, honestly, opendm's love to talk to women, love to help.
0:41:55 - Briar
And I think that's what we want you to walk away with. There is help. You don't gotta do this alone. Please stop doing this alone. It doesn't matter if it's your mental health, your physical health, your cycle, sexual health, health yes, it's all health, and we want you to get the help you need.
0:42:19 - Alex
Yeah, and once we heal those aspects like sexual health and stuff, you don't realize how great life can be. Right, yeah, all right y'all.
0:42:28 - Briar
We will see you in two weeks for sexual dysfunction. It's like it's a party around here. If you are interested in developing your own masterclass curriculum, i still have two slots available for July. I would love to have you on this journey and figuring out how to impart your wisdom to the masses. Alex has been such a delightful partner in this And I'm so excited for what you're going to have when we're finished here. Right, it's this amazing whole health curriculum that we've built now that you can use forever and ever.
It's so delightful to me.
0:43:21 - Alex
Well, you are so delightful and I loved every second of it.
0:43:25 - Briar
Thank you, you're welcome Again. Reach out bryorharvardcom slash partners. You can find us here at the BRODiVerti Media Network and we will see y'all again next time. Talk to you later, y'all, Bye, bye.
Transcribed by https://podium.page
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