Relationships & Revenue w/ The Oper8tor

0:00:02

Hello, and welcome, everyone. This is the NeuroDiversity Media Network. Today is our premier episode of relationships and revenue with the operator, I'm so excited to get to be your MC for a change. This is a nice shift I'm quite I'm quite enjoying this. It's a raw reversal. It's gonna be flat. You bet you look. You look a little nervous, Stacey. Like, oh, god. What the hell it is. I signed myself up for here. Yeah. Well, you know, welcome and hello to everybody out there. And for those that are going to watch the replay, It it is one of those years.

0:00:56

So this year, as the operator, a person that connects small business owners to the resources and relationships that they need in order to propagate more revenue so they can relax just a little bit. I've been making a lot of shifts myself. So with that evaluation comes the evaluation of relationships and how valuable are they to the life I want to live to generating revenue and to allowing me to relax a little bit. Or are the current relationships that I have infringing upon my boundaries and becoming some anchors to my movements. And so evaluating that evaluating how to have conversations to keep myself productive, to put me to keep me in front of me and the things that I need to do that that takes some work. And over the last few days, I have been doing that evaluation and having to have some conversations. So yeah. That's heavy. That's weighty. That that work is always worth it. And also, it's always a lot. Mhmm. So Yeah. I think I've spent so much time over the last few weeks talking about building relationships with Marissa, with Alice. There's so much weight that needs to be placed on how those relationships nourish and sustain us and helps grow. Right? Mhmm. And I think that we don't pay enough attention to the capital part of that. Because it feels materialistic. It feels out of alignment to say that the reason that we are cultivating these relationships is in fact to make money. Right? And for a lot of people, it's really difficult to square that that, yes, I am building community. I am building relationships and also I'm hoping that you'll pay me some money. That's what you can do. At neurodiversity media network dot substack dot com, I'll drop the link in the comments you can subscribe monthly or yearly because we are building and creating and sustaining things. Right? Mhmm. What does it look like to cultivate a relationship with revenue in mind without being capitalistic, boot, heel, whatever. Right? Pick pick pick pick whatever is bad about capitalism and the fact that we own businesses and are trying to make money. How do you square that? Well, some of it is making sure that you're actively doing that all of the time. So there's not the crunch to now cultivate a relationship real quick, you know, and, you know, microwave it and then go in for the kill immediately.

0:04:55

Another aspect of the microwave relationship. Because, actually, Right. We try really hard. That's what's sliding into the DMs is without any prior relationship. That's what cold messaging is in industries where cold messaging is proven to not work.

0:05:17

Camp microwave relationships. I'm writing that one down. Right. And that's that's exactly what it is, though.

0:05:24

And it really happens because we're doing it out of the burning need inside of us. Not a desire, but a need. Usually, to fill a slot, whether it's a speaker slot or whether it's to get somebody to opt into your thing or purchase your thing. Or it is because we know that that person has a resource that we need to gain access to And we have a sense of urgency that that other person doesn't have. And so we're going in to create a sense of urgency in someone else that's not there. And that feels a little awkward as well. And so that's what happens and that's why those things don't stick or in the retail industry why we say there are so many charge backs because there is no emotional commitment to this thing, this promise, even though I may say it out of my mouth, I'm not connected to it. It's not a priority. I don't have a sense of urgency about it.

0:06:33

So now, when you come back to me and say, oh, well, you said that you would be a guest on my podcast and I asked you to fill it out this form. And I still don't have your information. I say, okay. I'll get it to you. I have no sense of emergency. You have not tied any reason for me to me that creates a sense of urgency for me to be on your podcast. And if you're asking me, then it's probably because you need me more than I need you. So until you create some type of connection as to why I would want to do this that will drive me, then I have no sense of urgency. And now that creates a sense of tension, that creates possibly some animosity where you now say, Well, she don't wanna do my thing or she won't fill out my form or I asked her, but she and we don't realize that when we step into that, that that's exactly what we're doing.

0:07:38

So the warming up process that you talk about, the kind of flirting with needs to happen and do different people opt to go into the relationships quicker than others? Absolutely. Are there one nightstands, first night kissing, first night, all of the things? Yes. For some people, that's fine. For others, it's not. They need to get to know you. They wanna see you. They wanna see your credentials. They wanna know who else knows you. And what else those other people have to say about you? Before they opt to go out in public with you. You know? So I gotta say most of my one night stand, especially recently, have not been great client relationships. Mhmm. And some of that's on my side -- Mhmm. -- but a lot of that's on the client side too because there are expectations of me that have been cultivated without knowing me as a service provider. Mhmm. Right? Mhmm.

0:08:41

So I feel like there is a lot to be said here about how relationships that we're building for profits require so much more nurturing in many ways than friendships. Right? Like, there's a there's an equivalent exchange when we have a friendship, when we have a social relationship. If there's not, I'm not gonna stay. In the relationship. Mhmm. Mhmm.

0:09:22

If there is an expectation of a monetary return, though. It's unlikely that that's going to be reciprocal. It is in some cases, especially in the incestuous circle jerk that is coaching right now. I'm gonna pay you money and you're gonna pay me money and we'll pay each other money so everybody makes money. Right. Right. So if I am expecting to make money from you -- Mhmm. -- and I don't nurse the relationship to create that kind of exchange then there's going to be friction in the relationship. There's gonna be friction and there's gonna be gaps. You know, I I was one of those kids that definitely, you know, science time and it's let's get out these batteries and get out these wires. And let's see how close they have to be before they actually connect even though they can connect. Without physically touching each other. But there are those gaps. And just the slightest movement, which is the slightest comment, the slightest post about something political, the slightest thing that somebody else says, can cause that person to step away, to not be connected to you.

0:10:54

So the object, and when I was saying at the beginning, is to establish the real true genuine authentic relationships on an ongoing basis As if you're always hiring, you're always taking applications so that you always have people in places at all times. And not every relationship fills every gap or every need that you have because some people are not there to purchase. They're there to promote you. Some people are not there to promote you they're there to support you when nobody else wants to listen. Some people are there because they have a larger audience and they have a way to get you into doors that you can't get into or on stages where you would never have known even existed But you have to cultivate those. You have to have those conversations. You have to, in a lot of cases, pay it forward. You have to be willing to invest in some way in those other people. And those people believe that you will in some form of exchange be able to give back.

0:12:17

Now it's really what do you bring to the table? I've started saying last year very strongly, it used to be the everybody would say, well, is it who you know? It's not who you know? And then it went to, you know, I said, it's who knows you. That's important. Now it is, who knows you and knows what you do? Because -- Right. -- if they don't know what you do, then they're not referring people -- Yeah. -- to you. Yes. So it's your job at all times to cultivate the relationship so people know what you want them to know and what you want them to be able to share with others.

0:12:58

You may have a ten thousand dollar coaching package or a five thousand dollar product that this person has plenty of people they're connected to that could purchase it or use the service. But you haven't talked about it. You may be on a family connection that maybe you met them out of the park or at some family activity, and that's how you establish this relationship. But if you look at the person and look at ideal audience, might they have that ideal audience? Might they be connected to is it harmful just to say, I wanna share with you some of the things that I have going on right now. This is not to bombard them with everything that you've been doing since you were seven. This is to look at what are what are you looking to generate revenue out of now? Or what are you looking to do to move towards revenue generation and profit in this season of your business or in this season of your life.

0:14:02

It may be you have empty nest syndrome right now and you're struggling and that affects your mental capacity to do other things. But having this conversation because it's family and you're with somebody else who went through emptyness syndrome two years ago, that conversation is just as valuable about how did they get through it? What kind of things are they using to fill the gaps? Are they having conversations with a therapist or somebody licensed or is there a support group that they know of? That lends to mindset ease for you, which then means you can focus, you can stay aligned, and you can stay clear more often. Because that's not an issue. But people don't see the value in that. They're worried about who can buy from them. You can't get people to buy from you when you're not clear yourself. And we already know that. And when your messaging is not clear, when you're not aligned, when you're focusing all over the place and distracted. So your audience will also feel that. So it's still Who are you putting in your circle? What kind of relationships are you putting in your circle of all values? That bring ease to your life on a day to day basis.

0:15:25

This is personal and professional. One of so this will ramble a little bit, but I promise. I get there. I have business and personal CRM. It's built in Notion. I've talked about this before. One of the reasons that I built it in notion very specifically was because my autistic brain requires categorization. It helps me sore, it helps me pause, it helps me understand the relationship between things. Mhmm.

0:16:06

When I was looking at CRMs, there is no there's no tag system for who someone might be in your life. There are stages. They are a prospect. They are a client. They are whatever. You could but they don't live in multiple stages at the same time. Which was functionally why I couldn't put this for me into a CRM. And I had to build it in notion because people don't come in stages. Mhmm. They may be many things all at once. You can be a client and also be a prospect for a different offering. While also being in my circle of influence and referring people to me. You may be none of those things but you may be in my personal referral network where I refer work to you. So I had to be able to literally tag people as opposed to categorizing them by discrete relationship status. And I think that that is something a lot of people do without knowing that they are doing it. That they are moving people through stages of relationship without allowing for the fact that you can be in all of the places all at once. Everywhere and everywhere all of the time. Right? Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah.

0:17:57

And so just to piggyback on that, I am from the wireless world, and I am one of the originals with selling the Google phones when they came out. So the big deal about that was that you would be able to take your calendar and your contacts, and be able to synchronize them with your phone, and always be able to have that information accessible to you, not only on your phone, but on desktop. And that was the way that I sold this device is that you didn't lose that information. Then a big factor about that was that there's a notes area, and there are also category areas on there. And a lot of people don't utilize and unless they're told or they're given a use case like you just gave for why or how they can do something differently, they don't do it.

0:18:48

But I was a big four, you know, if I have a small business owner and this is who I'm promoting to as a T Mobile store manager, then I'm designating that in my phone for them so that I know and I can go search for small business owners when it's time for me to do a T Mobile promotion, I know who I need to call. That's not in T Mobile system. That's in my phone because that's the relationship that I identify as having with that person. T Mobile might not give a flip right now and they don't really have a lot of options for CRM of having the relationship. Right? This is customer client relationship manager, they don't have that. They have a system, a database of actual clients, or applicants that have completed an application. So that's my connection. Now how else do I identify out of connectivity. If I know that this person has teenage children, I'm identifying that in the notes. Why is that important? Because when we have a buy one get one or when we have a mother's day or a father's day promotion, I have that relationship and that knowledge that I can go back to and how many people actually feel good about out the fact that you remember those personal details. Right.

0:20:18

Also, when I find people from different businesses, if you're, you know, like on my iPhone now, I will identify a lot of people put names and numbers in their phones, but never put the company. If you're a small business owner, why wouldn't you put the company that they're associated with? Why would you not bother to go ahead and collect that email address why would you not go ahead and ask for a website so I can check out what it is that you do or what you're selling in case I know somebody that may need that. Now, I may never have an opportunity to refer this person, but I've collected that data in my phone. So what happens when I do decide to sync my information to a CRM system? Is that I've got more data in there than what the typical person would have because they're they're doing opt ins that have a name and an email address. If they're brave enough, they're optioning to get the telephone number And if they're double braver, they're a Gemini or Scorpio, then they got that telephone number and made it required. So, you know, you have that information that you know, absolutely nothing else about them. And we don't vet them. We don't go look at, you know, how many people for your French request so you actually go and look at their full profile. And I don't mean just, you know, I wanna see where they're coming from. Do you notice whether they're married or not? Whether they have children or not? What their is their brand color pattern with that that may be relative.

0:21:55

The podcast producer for the power of fifty two The first thing that I was attracted to said her brand colors were the same as ours. And then I went to look up her mission and vision, and they were in alignment. Now I know a lot about her. When I come to connect with her, she knows and she should feel that connectivity. One, because I did the homework. And two, because I've already found reasons for us to be connected. Now it's a matter of we're back on the money. Is the money go going to work for this scenario or not at this time? But I have that to go on, and I wanna make that a basis for communication. I wanna make that a basis for being in alignment because we talk about being in alignment.

0:22:42

And if you don't know what pieces of the puzzles you have, and if you're not looking at what pieces of the puzzles they have, it's impossible to have alignment or even think or know if there is some alignment because we haven't done the homework. Because most of the time, we honestly don't care. And don't care and or feel like we're being intrusive or invasive There's a lot about this information gathering stuff that bothers people because they feel like it's unnecessary, but there is no unnecessary data. There are no metrics that aren't worth tracking in some capacity even if we're not referring to them constantly. All data is relevant to the greater picture of who you are who you're serving and how you are making that monetary exchange And if you don't I mean, favorite color is absolutely a line in my CRM. Mhmm. I will capture people's brand photos so that I can look at them and go, oh, that's who that person is. Mhmm.

0:24:11

You have the ability to really build all of this in, but you have to feel like there's intrinsic value in finding and capturing those bits of information or you're not gonna do it. And for me, it is because I have the memory of an apple to e, and I know that I'm not personally gonna remember it. So if it's not captured, it's lost. That's true. And that that gives cause for people to stay to keep their information updated. You know? So if you're no longer in if you're no longer married, and that's not how you wanna be identified. You should update that on your Facebook. But let someone tell me the other day. That she had gotten a divorce and I was shocked like floored, absolutely, completely astonished because I didn't know. And I interact with her post regularly. Mhmm. And looking back, I can see that there's a timeline of when she stops being forthcoming about the details of her life absolutely is when this happened and I didn't guess because we always think people notice more about ourselves than they actually do they're paying attention to their own damn lives.

0:25:49

If you are not completely open and honest, and make me aware probably more than once, if I'm being very honest, that a thing has happened to you I'm not gonna know. I might wonder. And if I know you well enough, I'll wondering your inbox. But Nope. This is not a thing. So this But but if I'm using that as a basis, to generate revenue.

0:26:22

So if I am writing a book and it is I'm looking for collaborations with couples, and I approach you because I know you. You're already in my ecosystem. I already engage and interact with you. I don't know your home life right now. I only know what you show me on social media, yet I come into your DMs and I say, you know, hey, Briar, I am getting ready to put a book out and you absolutely were top of mind This is about couples or married couples. And I wanted to check-in with you and find out if you'd like a little bit more information about this.

0:27:06

Now if you haven't and I'm not saying that you're in process. Right? Because you may be in process and that may not be the best thing for you to do, especially, you know, we know all kinds of scenarios where that change is actually going to be triggering in me because adverse, you know, responding to it. From the stars, not the wounds, that's the goal. And that's -- Got you. -- you. And also, these are major life events.

0:27:36

A certain point in time, you cannot or should not feel ashamed or embarrassed that something has happened to you. Mhmm. You should process that into the greater scope of things and go, I would like my community to know this thing about me. Right. Or to leave it out, just having the information as accurate as possible. So let's say that you are going through and you have temporarily separated. You don't know where this is going to go. But you don't want to be confronted with an option to write a book, you know, for couples right now because that's not where you are. And you, you know, and I understand you can't think of everything. But I'm just saying to stay as authentic as possible because some of your referrals will come from that. Some of your offers will come from that. If you are now fifty four and your profile shows you at twenty three all of the time. This is not a temporary -- Oh, no. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. -- and my eight year old camera photo. I just it just came up in my remember this day on Google the other day. And I was like, oh, no shit. That picture is eight years old now. I really need to go and get some head shots taken.

0:29:02

Because if someone is gauging, making an offer to you based on the information that you're giving them, then you want them to have the most updated information as possible so that you don't have to backpedal and explain why the information that they use to choose you now is not valid. Because that then, internally to yourself, creates some response to that. And I know we've talked a lot about that before. Just I mean, there are just so many things that, authentically, and then you want the the current representation. But, like, even for you though, you're not you don't look a lot different than your actual picture. I mean, you know, that's that's the thing about it.

0:29:49

So but for some, like, some people, they absolutely do. They may have gone through weight loss and no longer represent that. And now they're being offered you know, some type of deal, brand deal, or having wanting to have a conversation to do an article but that's not them. And there's no there's no documentation. So when you say, well, no. I've actually, you know, lost fifty pounds or whatever it is. Now that's a story that somebody else may have been able to use and you may have been chosen for. But then you're not going to be represented in that way. And so you're missing out on the opportunities to cap true you authentically for who you currently are to be able to tell about that journey.

0:30:40

So But those relationships too, if I noticed this big on LinkedIn when I decided I'm gonna hop back on LinkedIn, but my LinkedIn profile was all about retail and all of my recommendations and everything. So then people are coming, you know, I'm changing my little header and my description says that I'm the visionary. I'm the virtual resource broker. I'm the but all of the rest of the stuff doesn't align. So, slowly, but surely, I've been making adjustments to that because if you notice people come to your profile, yet they don't decide to follow you or they don't decide to request you, then you're going Again, you know, that little feeling like, why? If sixty people looked at my profile and only two people followed me or asked to be friends, we know I'm not for everybody, but is there a disconnect and is that with the information that you have in front of other people, and sometimes it is.

0:31:43

And I think that relationships and building them for revenue purposes rely a lot on you to be very clear about who you are and what you are bringing to the equation. So that there's not a shock factor -- Mhmm. -- when something creeps up. I apparently need to talk more. I I thought I talked a lot about how much cannabis I consume, but apparently I was mistaken. And I'm working that in more because I don't want it to be a shock. And that's the thing. I don't want that to be a fundamental mismatch in our relationship because you ever problem with me as a cannabis smoker. Right? I want there to be absolute clarity about that. Because if I'm not for you, totally fine. Mhmm. It just means that there's a mismatch and how we are communicating about ourselves -- Yes. -- order to be clear about what our expectations are for a relationship that includes money.

0:33:13

And you can't separate the two if you hope to have a successful business. You cannot be out here just building relationships with no concept of what the end result could be. It doesn't have to be, and I'm not expecting it to be. That's the difference. But I have to know what it could be. And to set the intentions early.

0:33:43

So if the intention is that I need speakers for a summit, when I go into the DM because I do have a course and it's called it goes down in the DM because I do believe that you can create and establish those relationships proper expectations. So I have most likely engaged with something on their social outside of before I got to the DM. I had checked out their bios. If they have a Linktree or a Lincoln Value, then I have gone to that because I wanna know who I'm working with before I come inside and start talking in the DMs. It's very rare that I will ask somebody, where are you from, or where is your business in the DMs? Because I've checked out the profile. And I would want people to do the work on me before they come into the DM's.

0:34:32

If this is a cold relationship, I need you to do that because that's how you knocked the chill off. Is that you bring me information about me, that you already know, that I know you had to get it from somewhere, And so you did some work. So now I'm going to listen to you, and then I will entertain that thing that you may ask me about. I want a compliment before I get a request -- Right. -- beneath that gosh pat sandwich. And -- Yes. Well, there's there's no problem with building one deliberately constructing -- Yeah. Because you know that that is a requirement for cultivating a positive relationship with clear boundaries. The thing about boundaries is you can say what they are But unless you state what those boundaries are, two other people, then you can't be shocked if I don't know what your boundaries are. And that's true. And that also then goes to when you have the specific need and you're creating relationships or connections with a specific need such as I want a speaker.

0:35:51

This person was referred to me on the outside or I saw them doing a live. And now I want to acquire about whether they're available. With that intention, that is what I am expressing. That is where my mindset needs to stay. And I need to stay on that path throughout this entire time. And why do I say this until that that is complete until that task is complete.

0:36:19

Because what has happened, especially since the pandemic, is because we need touch because we're looking for sisterhood, because we're looking for people that are like us and that have some of the same problems, in our finding solutions to those problems themselves too. Because we want that type of feeling. We're going into and saying, I need a speaker for this event a month from now. But now we're having all kinds of conversations like this is our best friend. And we're disappointed on personal basis when somebody says no to the professional thing that was the initial reason for us going in. And so we have to keep that separate initially until we have gotten the answers to what we have said, we have set the expect station.

0:37:13

I came here because I'm having a summit and that I would love to have you as part of it and I want to have more of a conversation, or can I share the information with you now? And once we get the yes or the no to that, Now if you want to pursue and continue to follow them and engage and all of that, it's up to you. And if they don't reciprocate, that personal non reciprocation, that that's not on them. That's on you. Because now, you have a new expectation that they're not aware of, that you haven't shared. So now if you think they're a great person and you've realized that they like to go to cigar lounge just too and they're a bourbon girl too and that type of thing, then you need to share that. In their feed, you need to let them know about the connectivity. And if there's an opportunity to participate in something else together, then and you decide to go to the DM's it's okay and share that. But again, don't have the expectations that these people that you are creating revenue generating relationships with are going to be your personal friends because they have no obligation to do so. So my sales guru, the operators, were one of.

0:38:37

Grace Edison, has which caused three asks. Do you want to know me? Do you want to know what I do? Do you want to pay me money for the thing that I do? And you have to ask those questions in order. You have to establish the relationship at the outset knowing that question two and three are coming. That's how you establish your boundaries around what this relationship is going to be. So how do we how do we make this work? Stacey, how do we use these relationships that we've built and cultivated and turn them into revenue without breaking a relationship. Sure.

0:39:35

One of them is that people don't care what you know until they know that you care. And many people will say, oh, no. That's not true. Like, I couldn't care to it's a whole another conversation. That's a whole another track, and I have specialists for that. But, you know, we do. We want to know that, again, I'd say I want somebody to come to me.

0:40:01

And when they mention me in the DMs, by my name, they say spell it right because it's at the top of the chart. For real. If you don't know that it's I and not y, I got Right. Right. So, man, that one hurts. Your attention to detail and you're wanting me to participate in something it's it's already shaky for me. Now you have some stuff to make up before I even listen. Because to me, you don't care. If you don't care to spell my government name. Right? Now I understand my moniker has a crazy eight in the middle of it. But my government name that you won't spell it. Right? You saw it on the outside on my profile, before you went into messenger, it's at the top of the messenger chat. Then to me, that's already an issue. For some people, it's not. But when you do that, then that's not a response.

0:41:07

And then as we move through other stages, let's say it's engagement on social media, then you've if you want somebody to do something for you, then it doesn't cost you to engage with their social media. It it's the easiest way of flirting. Like It's and that's not even really network dependent. It doesn't matter where you go. If you wanna build a good solid relationship with somebody, in a way that you will eventually ask them for money, you comment on their shit. That's it. It's not even that difficult, but it does take time because it's about an ability to see that you care over time. Right? I'm such as I'm here in your inbox to show you I can't pay me money. No. No.

0:42:04

It is it is back to school when you saw somebody out on the playground and they did this phenomenal thing. You're like, oh, that that guy's super. Like, he's a hero. He's my hero. And then you continue to follow. Right? You're not just gonna go up and oh, you're my hero and I I really think you're cute. No, you're gonna continue to watch because you wanna see how they engage with their peers with the other guys. You wanna see whether they tell secrets to the guys out loud, whether they blurt out things or not. How did they treat their last girlfriend? You know, so you're looking to see some things. But if you don't stay close enough, you'll never get that information and the same thing goes with social media.

0:42:47

That person that I may want to speak because I heard them on a live once or on a clubhouse room once and I decide that I want them to be on a stage, on a physical face to face stage, that may not be their best presence. That may not be where their genius is. So if it is audio and now I'm going up saying, you know, you wanna do a face to face, I'd love to have you on the stage. Now, I didn't do enough homework first. Have I seen anything on their social? If I scroll back, Are there any badges on there? Do they have conversations about that? Have they thrown their own event?

0:43:26

And people are saying, like, that's a lot. You're inviting somebody to speak That's a lot. And so you need to know the background. You need to hear how are they speaking to their audience when they're going live. Or through the statements that they're making in their social media, is that the way that you would want your audience to be treated? Because anybody can turn around and say something else or I you know, this is how I would show up or this is my signature talk. But if that's your signature talk, but your day to day talk doesn't match that, Houston, we've got a problem because that's not your authentic self.

0:44:02

And if I end up with somebody from my audience working with you, And then they're saying, well, did you know that they did you I don't want that reflection on my brand. So I need to bet and do my homework. And that engaging with is what allows you to be able to do that. That talking to other people, so for some people, Well, it's testimonials. It's going and looking at the testimonials. Looking googling up somebody's name. And if this person says, you know, I help them reach six figures for their launch on Blankety blank and you go back to their social media and months ago when this happened, there there's no details of a launch of any kind. There's nothing you know, you So was it really a launch? You know? And so then if you question those things, now we're going to talk about red flags If the red flags are there and you don't do the research, then that's on you. So do what you can And that's what that relationship building is, have that coffee chat.

0:45:10

A lot of conversations about. I don't have conversations for free. Those Oh, that's a big one. Right? Right. I I don't I don't talk to anybody for free. Well, then I'm not ever gonna pay you money. And I say this as a person who is on the air damn near daily. You can see and watch me every day and still if you're going to be paying me more than all five hundred dollars or so, I think it's fair if you want to have a conversation with me first. Absolutely. Yeah. And and that's I don't know. That's part of my relationship and maybe it's because I'm intuitive. Maybe it's because of whatever reasons. Maybe it's out of having long shadows and not wanting to be burned. Maybe it's out of chronic disappointment. You know, we we can start throwing all the things out there and talk about the angles and how that affects your relationships and your revenue.

0:46:17

But then I need to have a conversation so that I feel good about who I'm working with if I'm giving up money or if I'm asking somebody to be part of my thing and pay me money. Either way, I think a conversation needs to be had, like you said, at a certain dollar amount. For me, it's like a thousand dollars. At a thousand dollars, we need to connect before I give you currency. And I wanna connect with you before you give me currency. I don't like the idea of just paying for that thing on my sales page. And now, we're stuck together. And my job is to give you results.

0:46:58

What I don't know what your preexisting conditions were before you came to me or vice versa is that I opt in and I have no way to get a hold of you. I send an email before asking some clarifying questions about the offer. I don't get a response. Yet I still make that purchase. Then that's on me. I should have seen the red flag because your availability wasn't even good for me to spend money with you. So now I might have a better chance since I put money in your pocket of communicating with you, but I'm not to think that or have that expectation and I I should go into it the same way.

0:47:35

Like like we say about relationships, people wanna see people change after you start going together or after you get married, now you're like, oh, yeah. Well, I can change them, you know, all the things I thought was broken, you know. Nor gaps so well. How you took them in, you need to be willing to accept that way forever more if that's the option you're given or for a period of time and say, no, this ain't my cup of tea where, you know, relationship is not going to work or what now out of the relationship did work so that we can keep that and throw away what doesn't. If we're not good, you know, if we're not chemistry doesn't match, or the backgrounds of our family are gonna create conflict constantly. Can we agree to be friends now? Can we agree to have that companionship that is working for us? And maybe some things will change over time, but not to have the expectation and don't go into and build the relationship with the expectation that there will be change because that that is not guaranteed. So Yeah. And I think that this is a great place to close.

0:48:58

Ultimately, what we are saying to you here is that building a relationship to capitalize on it requires you to do more research. Although, frankly, you should probably be doing this much research in your personal relationships Anyway -- Yeah. -- that that's a conversation for another time. If we're getting into a revenue generating relationship, you need to know who that person is -- Mhmm. -- as best as you can. And obviously, we all make mistakes we all miss stuff. People absolutely can delete or hide or scam. There is there's a lot of things that can happen in the sphere of online business in particular that until it happens to you, you may just it it may not be a thing that's on your radar.

0:49:53

But once you know, building a client or customer profile is the most important thing that you can do to sustain that relationship over the long haul of the revenue cycle. And for some of y'all, like, we're taking tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of dollars. So if that's the case, you really need to be aware of who they are, what they value, what's important to them and who they wanna be. Because if you don't know those things, you can't actually make the argument that they that you are worth spending their money on. Absolutely. And when you start talking about the higher dollar amounts, that's the same as the time that you spend when you're gonna purchase a vehicle.

0:50:50

If you say that I just need to get around town car, then you're just looking for possibly maintenance records or that it was owned by a mechanic or that was, you know, something like that because you just need to get around. Because your intention is to be able to replace it at some point. But if you're saying that I want an economical car that I'm gonna ride out for seven years, in financing that vehicle and I need for it to go through some changes with me, you're going to do more research on that to look at price is to look at gas mileage, to look at the option of electric, to look at a lot of things, and it's the same here. And that relationship may be established. If you decide you want a Tesla, that looks like looking it up, but going to the dealership, that looks like finding somebody at the dealership that you may have, you know, laugh with and cut up jokes with. And now this becomes your future person to connect with, you know, okay, I'll take your business card. And now when I want to inquire about something, I'm contacting this person. That's a relationship. So every relationship is not about, oh, we're gonna break bread together? Are we doing this or that? This is the relationship I'm establishing, and I also can make referrals from that.

0:52:10

If somebody else says, you know, yeah, I'm looking at getting a Tesla, I got a girl for you. And again, the my obligation as the customer or client is different than your obligation as the service provider. We're not entering into the relationship on in the same place. Right. So it's my job to do my due diligence. It's your job to know who I am well enough to be able to service me. And that's -- Absolutely. -- that came in and that's and that's the big deal. That's the big deal for sales and how the sales agents that can go to sleep at night and aren't narcissistic are doing this because they're establishing relationships.

0:52:56

Even now, you know, they're online sales persons, you know, And so from online, yeah, they're collecting intake data, but they're also trying to make some connections as to how they can sell those features and benefits of what they have based on what you tell me. So I need to do a needs analysis to find out some information so that I can stick that these features and benefits to that. I need to make an emotional tie. Decisions for sales are emotional decisions So the more senses and emotions that I can tap into, the better probability that I'm either going to repulse you or attract you. And so that is now, you know, the big thing. So absolutely, the higher the dollar amount is the better job you have to do in vetting if you're putting out the money. And then as the person that has the product and service, the better job you do in terminating. Who is that avatar? Where do they hang out so that it's not just I'm just going out here and I'm just gonna start feeling around and touching and flirting with everybody because, again, if you're talking to everybody, you're talking to no one and it's the same in the personal relationships. So, yeah, we can you know, in the future, we'll talk about styles and angles. Next time, we'll lean in to the features and benefits portion and how that builds into your relationship research.

0:54:30

Y'all. This has been so much fun, Stacey. I'm so excited for this show. Okay. So you can find stacey at the operator dot com. You can find the neurodiversity media network links in the comments. It's neurodiversity media network dot substack dot com. If you've not subscribed yet, you should get on our list because all of my podcasts come out. And there are exclusive benefits for subscribers, including a weekly short breakdown of all of the shit that I have talked over the week and what you may wanna focus on. Okay. We will see y'all in two weeks. Thank you so much for being here, Stacey. Apple in my eye. You are joy and a delight. And we will be back again in two weeks y'all. Have a good one.

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