there we are we're live hello hello hello hello welcome I am Briar Harvey this is the neurodiversity media Network today I have the operator with relationships and Revenue so this is what our third fourth I can't think third third yeah this is our third and the goal here has been to really dive into the revenue part of relationship building I got two other shows y'all focusing on the relationship building part one for Revenue one for just you know asking for help and [ __ ] what's came at this one is that we're really looking to develop those skills where we take relationships that we have built and then make money off of them and that's that's hard for people because we don't like to feel transactional we don't like to feel like we're the skeezy LinkedIn internet Bros who slide into your DMs and try and Pitch you on something you don't even need and so when we talk about the revenue side there's a lot of feelings and things that go along with that which is why today we're talking about the inner work yeah okay yeah yep
why is this part so important
the inner work is really important to contribute to the authenticity
when we are not continuing to do the inner work doing the inner work is a continuous thing like eating breathing all of those other functions there are times where we have to be more acute about it and looking at specific things and then there is The Chronic inner work which we continue to do over and over until the daily die if we are not doing the inner work we lose touch with Who We Are and how we show up reflects that if we decide to 10 exit throw a fire on it to you know make it bigger and catch with people then they are getting a view of the non-authentic self and that is what they are attached to yet internally your passion your purpose your values are not in alignment with that that is a disconnect which is reflected in lack of Revenue or conversions as we know it
so
the second portion of it is because when you're neurodiverse keeping a job is hard so when you are an entrepreneur the thing that you must do too like breathing is talk about the thing that you sell
and I gotta believe that you love it I have to believe that it lights you up that it's your reason for getting out of bed in the morning that it is the thing that matters most to you and that is where the inner work is because that's not always true how do we find alignment right with our values and the things that are most important to us and this thing that we're selling well in another wonderful Summit that you had regarding executive function we talked about time management or management which led me to talk about these 90-day intervals in which we're reassessing a lot of things the revenue is one of them which is you know one of our core pillars of these conversations but another one is personal self and so as women many times as indeed many times we have gone way off of the mark in 90 days and if we're not [ __ ] I can go off the mark in 90 minutes yes exactly exactly so knowing knowing yourself and how long 90 days is the longest I'm going to say to go without going back in and saying are the things that I'm doing in my personal life do they feel good to me are the things that I'm doing in the activities that I'm doing are they leading to a bigger goal of mine are the things that I'm doing now causing me more harm or more ease and this is something more recent in me doing the inner work that I had to realize that I was really living in the life of chaos because I have been a crisis management manager in my jobs and in having three kids and obviously two divorces means that I had to do some there too so I have been that person that that's how I manage my day is managing everybody else's crisis but I don't get paid like Olivia Pope so if right so if managing those crises is not leading to compensation which provides ease then I need to look at how often do I want to be in crisis so back to the 90-day cycle and evaluating these things then if you look at them and you find out there are things that need to be omitted there are distractions that are going on there is lack of Revenue or profit going on now is the time to course correct and to make those changes so when you look at your products there may be some products that you intended to be residual or that you plan to have for a year looking at those are they turning a profit are they causing you more harm in stress in support in Tech issues in costs than it is ease of saying these people are actually receiving what I intended for them to receive they're getting the results that they desire to get when I decided these three pain points were what I was going to focus on with these three different solutions you know then we can look at that and we can decide at any time to stop doing those things now I know last year again some of the issue is that
when we do the inner work we see and we hear messages all the things and we like to ignore them because again as females I'm gonna triple this up indeed and then the minorities we're used to being in positions where our whole job is to overcome and make to the normal or the norm seem as if we can fit in and that we can do these things so we strive to do extra to just meet what we consider to be the bar from our counterparts and so we do those things and over and over and over again and we're not paying attention we go okay no that's a that's just a note so that means go harder this is a note that means that if you really want it try some more but the idea of releasing it is the last thing that we want to do because we don't we know what's on the other side of this chaos we know that I chaos and crisis manage every day it may be difficult but I know that it's there if I let go of this thing of this client of this platform of this whatever it is I don't know what the results are on the other side of that I don't know what may come up on the other side of that I don't know what money or Revenue there may be and if there's profit in it so I'm gonna stick with what feels comfortable even though it may be hurtful right we that's the same thing in you know a battered woman syndrome same concept I prefer to get some attention than to get no attention so I yeah and that's a whole nother we can you know there's a whole nother episode that we can talk about um the effects of domestic environment on your Revenue which is a relationship um but this is what we do this is what we do so if we're not evaluating and we're not listening to the little signs we're not at least jotting down
yeah journal on them write them down in your phone notes uh
Microsoft OneNote allows you to password protect Pages if in fact that is a security concern that you might have with your phone just since we've already brought that up and it's International women's day and I feel like that's it place we'd like to hit if the impact on your inner work is external because it's a lack of support then doing the inner work is harder and [Music] I think that we discount how much time inner work takes like and and I don't even think that's Tech or culture some of it certainly is but I mean we've been accelerating the inner work for centuries Millennia it's it's the Mary Oliver quote what are you going to do with your one Wild Life she walked around and looked at Fields like inner work that's she spent her entire life doing the inner work and then writing poems about it and now we're still talking about them because that's how inner work works I feel like we don't prioritize it enough and I also know how unrealistic it is to add one more thing to your plate right now when everything is already too overwhelming so let's talk about bite sizing inner work what does it look like to take the big hard things that feel so overwhelming about this stuff and make it actually feasible to accomplish yeah that that is um a lot of the key to it because we don't see the immediate gratification from it it's less likely to be something that we prioritize we want to see the results if I tell a child to stop writing on the wall I want to see the results now not when they finish their sentence not when they finish their picture not next week I want to see the results now and it's the same thing when we start doing the inner work we say okay I'm going to use this modality and I'm going to study these things and when the difficult stuff comes up one thing first is like you said not having support because just you talking about doing the inner work people are going what do you mean that in our work you mean personal development do you mean you know the terms in themselves are things that we need to circulate more um and have people question what does that mean what is the inner work mean Define it and what does that look like I we're not even doing that for ourselves much less other people right so how how are we achieving consensus when we can't even agree on terms yes yes absolutely and I know that
if I speak to somebody that is Christian then inner work has to do with more about the relationship with God
yes exactly and then if you talk to someone that's more spiritual the inner work is about the alignment with the universe and truly yourself showing up so that these things are in alignment and there's a lot of ease that happens in life so depending on who you're speaking to again knowing your audience so incremental Milestones on the Christian side is that someone's ill and I may feel guilty about what happened um my contribution or non-contribution to this person and with that then I start doing some prayer if I don't see immediate results you know that of forgiveness or this person wanting to answer my call now or any of those things then I'm gonna have a tendency to pull back if my quote-unquote faith is strong enough then I'll continue to do the inner work to figure out what else can I do and I'm going to use those tools such as the Bible such as Bible study such as prayer groups meditation groups those groups to help me to give me some affirmation to give me some validation that I'm moving in the right way or to give me another tool within that another prayer or another way of getting what I feel like is some type of yes to tell me I'm doing the right thing but we have to get to the point where we don't need the external that's that's the hard part that's why it's the inner work um on the other side then we're looking for signs from the universe we're looking for um a clarifier with cards if we're doing Terror or oracle cards we're looking for um
things and systems that are already set up that tell us within a framework
how things can be and for us in the moment to be in the present to stay in the present to determine where you be because if we don't know where we are then we can't take the steps to move towards something else so determining what you want to use it's almost like at corporate so let's help those with those people setting up the kpis in advance and so what are those markers what will make you feel like you are moving towards what guide and then how are you how are you identifying it and sometimes it takes other people to help you identify it and we'll say you don't want to tell everybody you know necessarily not everybody what Journey you're on or if you're on a journey but you do need to have some people around you that can help you identify your growth your change your and acknowledge oh that's you know I have a friend who last week I said well that was a very grown up thing for you to do because it was a scenario where they could have been very Petty and like pettiness came to mind for me but you know but to acknowledge that as being something different than what they might have done two years ago that was from doing the inner work that is from making different decisions that is from not being involved with the distractions that is from not being as concerned about what's going on outside not as concerned about the past not as concerned about the future concerned about the present
so uh there's a lot of what you haven't said here that I'm just gonna go ahead and say is staying in your own [ __ ] Lane there's a lot here about keeping your eyes on your own goddamn paper thank you yes the inner work is very much about so for me the path here is often very stoic I like the stoics I like stoicism uh sterilized stoicism is DBT right it's it's it's a lot of the same principles without the religious aspects but really what do you have control over what what is what do you personally have the power to affect spending a lot of time asking those questions is very clarifying for me because truly very little I I I I have true impact on very few things what I do have impact on then has to be maximized for greatest effect um that's that's about knowing and deciding internally
where my Leverage is going to come from yeah what do we recommend for people who struggle with
staying in their own lane uh one of the things that I practiced and I fell off and then when I practiced it again I realized yeah it works is back to the 80 20 rule so I'm spending eighty percent of my time in that 20 area where I know as you said I can control things and the other things I honestly have to release them because you know what sometimes you find out that those are somebody else's assignment and they'll get taken care of if you let the right person be in control and so last week there were a lot of examples of that in which there were plenty of things I wished I could have controlled that I had no control over but being in the moment saying now though from this moment in the present what can I control instead of spending all the time thinking about that past era that even though it was within the last hour I can't put the energy into thinking about that because that's what it's going to pull on the other side is concentration about that it's not pulling Solutions because my mindset is not on Solutions and what I can do starting now like if I was Dropped In This Moment what am I going to do moving forward and so that clean slate concept also works so that we're not tied to the past we know we know it was there but right now to say if I could start all over again or if I can start right here right now with this is the crisis or this is what I have going on what am I going to do right now not the conversations not the gossip not the trying to make sure we tell 25 people how somebody else wronged us not spending the time and the energy putting it on social media so that other people because what are we doing we are drawing more attention and more energy to that negative act and it's not going to get us a positive result the universe is going to say hey this is this is where we want to stay cool we're gonna let you sit in this and we got we got other people because we're about to spend our eighty percent of energy on the 20 of people that know what they want not what they don't want let's not continue to talk about what we don't want we have to talk about what we do want so when you're writing that's why affirmations are so important because it's affirming the positive it's not saying I will never do this again and I don't want to do that and I don't like no because the universe still doesn't know where to go with it from there and you know for some people they go the universe we're not talking about I mean we're it should be God whoever I'm saying whatever entity is waiting on you to make a decision to be clear about what you want to State it to write it down in some cases to share it and to focus on that and not on the negative now if you need to learn more about affirmations I have a whole show about that with the incredible Viva Atta and we talk about personal affirmations for most of the things that you need them for inner work and personal affirmations are not the same thing but personal affirmations will help you develop your tool kit for the inner work so like if this is a place where you need help go get some help I think one of the things that is striking to me is the knowing what you want versus the knowing what you don't want right like
I've always been pretty clear about what I want not what I don't want I mean I I know those things too but knowing what you don't want doesn't give you focus knowing what you want gives you very concrete goals and goal posts it tells you this is this is the thing not this is the thing that's going to change my life or this is the thing that's going to make me happy now it's this is the thing that I want to put most of my energy into and that it's different oh absolutely knowing what you want pulls you forward knowing what you don't want holds you back it becomes an anchor to keep you in that state and then we wonder why we can't move forward into the next something it's also in talking about the journaling in writing down these things these knowing what you want it allows you to go back and be reminded of them because again we get busy we get distracted we don't think about those things we don't worry about us because we're so worried about everybody else that we're not focusing on that so to have it written down to have the vision boards whether they're digital or whether they're paper or whatever they are that's your way of going back to it and staying in alignment with your own desires and if it's something you no longer desire then you mark that off so that you don't go back and reflect on that but when you keep going back to it you keep going back to it at some point what you realize is that it has already come to fruition you just didn't know that it did or the way that you were looking for it to become a reality is not how it appeared but it was here I'll say that um about I'll give two examples one is before I made a move from one city to another I was talking to some colleagues about um a car now I'm not one I I've had some cars that I really loved and you know that I'm going yes this and but I'm not attached to having a car I'm more attached to being driven really and so you know that's out goal and you know we'll talk about that another time but I said that what I wanted was a car that everything was included I don't want to have to pay separate for insurance I don't have to pay separate for maintenance and all of that and you know some of the warranties have the maintenance included for X number of miles which is cool um and then some of them may have on the higher end you may be able to get insurance but people were like yeah that's asking an awful lot and that's going to be really expensive and I said no it shouldn't be but I didn't know of anything that existed like that that was just what I desired and I said it and I wrote those things down because I couldn't I put down a particular car but I wrote those things down with it um about three months later I relocated and I didn't take a car with me because I could get around public transportation I Uber frequently because I prefer to be driven than to drive uh and then I said well let me start looking and see is there anything that is like the service that I'm talking about lo and behold in this particular City there was a service that was a subscription car which is exactly that for a weekly fee you pay for the car it includes the maintenance it includes the insurance it includes roadside assistance yada yada you take the car back when it has to do maintenance you can take it to Pep Boys they have a you know a national account get your oil changed and keep on going you decide you want a fancier card because you want to show off for the weekend you trade the car out get the fancy car for this week exchange it the next week when I told somebody then that I had one of those cars because now it's six months in they're like what and I say yeah I'm driving subscription cards X amount per week and this is what's included oh my gosh like didn't you say something about that so you know you had seen it before no I didn't see it before but also if you're thinking about something somebody else has thought about it before or somebody else is thinking about it too so don't feel like your ideas or your thoughts or your desires are unattainable just because you've never witnessed it before and the more people that think about it the more you think about it then Across the Universe those thoughts become reality yeah there's a lot you can say about Liz Gilbert but her idea about ideas from Big magic has really stuck with me and it is that ideas don't have owners they don't belong to anyone and they are well not ephemeral things they and I [Music] have another and they'll get in your brain and you'll think huh that's interesting until the idea gets to the person that it belongs to who acts on that yes because until we reach action just an idea and that doesn't belong to anyone ideas don't I I mean even stories and the proof for this is in science where tandem discoveries happen all the [ __ ] time people in one place will be working on something that people in a different place who have no knowledge whatsoever about the work that they're doing and are doing the exact same thing so ideas don't belong to anyone they require action before they become a thing and until then it's just having ideas which we get to have as many of as we want have lots of ideas build them grow them develop them because those are the things that you're gonna get to I think decide in what way the action matters to you yeah you gotta have lots of ideas before we take action on one thing absolutely and that's where the revenue is and that's where you know getting back to our business side about it that's why it's so important to trademark and copyright because it is out there somewhere else someone else has thought about it and many times we say oh so-and-so stole my idea again just like you said they didn't steal your idea and then when you look at some of these other modalities you'll understand when they talk about like in human design about having an open head and an open ajna meaning that you are someone that very easily can sponge ideas hear things in one room and then you retain them at another point you spew them out but it does seem as if it's your own or you've heard different pieces and now like Breyer said different pieces of the puzzle have come to you where they come together and now the idea is really birth through your execution that's where you generate the revenue from but the the expeditiousness is what then turns the revenue so currency is currency for a reason it stays in flow and currency likes expeditiousness it wants to keep moving the speed at which it moves generates a higher Revenue so when we're taking our time of trying to be perfect when there is no such thing as Perfection then the process slows down which means that the currency slows down so even when you begin to generate Revenue you're not generating Revenue at the capacity at which you could have if you had stopped with the procrastination of the Perfection and moved on it even sooner so I think that that is a big thing and we do it all the time and we have to stop blaming other people for the fact that we didn't move when we originally had the thought that we didn't move when when we thought about it but then we listened or asked somebody else about it who had no idea what we were talking about or said that that's impossible or that you can't do it we let that slow us up and now we're talking about somebody else doing it in front of us when we had the idea two years ago but you didn't act on it so if you're listening to anything and understand anything like Breyer said it's the acting upon it that makes the difference no matter how many ideas you have in your head in your computer or in your chat GPT
structurally fundamentally I get this that it feels like the inner work should be generating a checklist of actions now Saturn just yesterday entered Pisces so if you thought your inner work was yielding checklists before it's definitely not doing that now like you're getting the anti-checklist of inner work now for like the next three years y'all this is this is a whole okay 2026 yep how do I take
the inner work and turn it into action there's an Alchemy here right where doing the work internally leads to the external work but I don't have I don't have a map Stacy and I need like steps and checklists and stuff not all the time but I think this is a big problem for people how do we take the inner and make it external
that is the hardest part about the inner work is that it's about being
wow yes it's about being then it's about being quiet it's about being consistent it's about
being the best you for you before anybody else so sitting still and listening sitting still and watching these things are always happening around us and we say that they happen to us sometimes the the things that are negative we say happen to us we don't say the good things happen to us though um but it is sitting still
with those things because we tend to move around we tend to put them in the closet we tend to say I'll be right back we even give them to somebody else to hold and that doesn't work I had to sit with myself I had to walk backwards and say if I don't like this let's look at the common denominators of the things that have gotten me here or that this thing keeps happening over and over again what are all the common denominators of that I'm going to be in it like every single time like it's you you are the problem thanks Taylor like
right so then that is the if you look at those things then and this is again still being Where You Are look at those things and your you want a list
ing out the elements that were attached to that whether it is I'm not getting these jobs like I'm applying for full-time jobs and I'm not getting the job I've gotten the interviews or I've gotten calls well let's let's look at that what type of jobs were they
how do how do those jobs really feel did you really want to do this job or is this the job you were taking because you really needed to pay some bills now
because if it's not and you have been operating in doing things in your best interest at some point the universe is going to realize and say okay she may say that but I I know her heart she didn't want to do that I'm not just giving her the job because you know what's happening with that is that I'm taking the job away from somebody that's really qualified and that really wants that job we have to stop trying to force our puzzle pieces into somebody else's spot because that means somebody is trying to force theirs into where you belong so if you sit still let some things move around see where the space is that space will call you you will go to it and it will be the fit where we're so busy trying to force [ __ ] trying to hurry up and do [ __ ] that it's not the right [ __ ] and then we want to complain because we didn't get paid the amount that we wanted to get paid or this job I didn't realize it was this or I thought it had benefits why because you rushed it it was not what you wanted it was not what you wanted it was not in alignment with your purpose it was not fulfilling it does not answer the why when we go back to is this activity going to fulfill you create ease and move you towards those things that you want more long term
no and I think the issue here is one of time so I've written about this pretty extensively but the idea of time management is based in productivity culture that is fundamentally flawed in the way that humans actually function yeah and what's at issue is we have internalized a lack of action as not productive and therefore not worthy of our time
when those are so frequently the things move in the needle
and that is because
we can't put a dollar amount on sitting around and thinking about stuff
so how do we
and internally you and I have talked about this before I know this is a problem that you have that not producing not taking action is costing you money because you're not lining up the next person in the call queue right right this is such a sales mentality yes always be selling always be committed to taking action and I think the flaw then is trying to square this internally how do we sit around and think about stuff without feeling guilty about it you have to start small you have to start small I am definitely you as you said you know that's my issue my Industries a restaurant Hotel retail you know as far as on some of the corporate side and I've got government and there is no with the exception of the restaurant business there is no factual urgency food will burn if you overcook it but in general in most Industries urgency is fabricated but it's it's a symptom and it's everywhere so when you spend your entire time in that adrenaline response to the urgency that just becomes internalized absolutely and so
the urgency to do things that generate immediate responses again though it's not long term it's immediate it is take your order get your food it is check you in and you're going to your room now I'm not checking you in and you're coming back in three months to go on vacation you know it is um I am running your application to send you out with a phone today you're not going to be back in three months to say okay I'm ready to pick up that phone so that is and so on the entrepreneurial side unless you're producing products right but on the service side you can't and with the inner work part when I sit and meditate for 15 minutes and be quiet which it took me 17 months to be able to be in a space of 15 minutes of being quiet because what is quiet like that's scary sitting with myself and my thoughts and my but when you are so inured into that productivity system those 15 minutes are full of ideas of things that you should be doing with that time instead right absolutely so I had to start taking small time frames and working so three minutes was the first start three minutes to unplug three minutes to unplug even after things happen for me to as our friend Jasmine would say to sit with it like I wasn't sitting with stuff in restaurant you don't have time to sit with you better hurry up and fix it because the next issue the next person the next whatever is already there in your face it's different when you're dealing with in your face jobs so you don't have time to be like you know what I'm getting ready to go to the back I'm take three minutes and I'm gonna reflect on what just happened and I'm gonna come back out and I'm gonna be so centered to deal with the next person like that doesn't happen
everyone I know and have ever known long term in the restaurant business smokes so that they can get those three minutes at a time because you don't otherwise the only time you get three minutes is when you go and stand at the back door and smoke a cigarette because otherwise you're expected to be on the clock all the time let me tell you you are exactly right so when I was with the government working with Social Security Administration I would go out on smoke break I didn't smoke but that was the cue that's what people had to say to get that extra 15 minutes in a day and so I'd be like I'm going on a smoke break somebody's like you don't smoke and I said that's your judgment call but I'm going on smoke break that's what I said and so therefore they can't challenge it that's what the process is so I've been going on smoke breaks since you know like for years and years but that's the truth so that's even how do we do that in itself we take advice and we say if you have this Vice then you get rewarded but the people that don't have the vice anyway so and very much
dear with time because the fundamental relationship with time is flawed and the more that you start picking out these little things the easier it is for you to say oh well all of this [ __ ] is completely and totally [ __ ] so I'm just gonna do whatever the [ __ ] I want now but yeah let's go back to this so the three minutes to take that time out to sit with something then it became five minutes to be intentional to disconnect I'm very much the kind of person to carry around my phone carry it in the bathroom carry it in the kitchen carry it in the so five minutes not being connected to that it's in another room I'm doing something else I may be still moving I'm not quote unquote meditating as people say but I'm disconnecting and I am training in myself and giving myself discipline to not be in response to text emails notifications uh fire signals that go off on that phone and the research clearly indicates that having your phone in a visual line of sight absolutely impacts the number of times that you look at the [ __ ] thing like even if it's face down my awareness of it is that it's right there and I'm missing notifications y'all they're so smart they do this deliberately and so when it's time for deep or Intense or concentrated work this [ __ ] thing needs to go in a drawer absolutely so then the next phase of it is finding an activity that you can focus on for 10 minutes after you've learned and trained yourself to you know let go of the electronics um 10 minutes of being intentional whether it's reading whether it's walking in the grass or walking outside whether it is stargazing whether it is something I've come across that somebody does is actually running water in the bathroom sink warm water and just putting our hands under the water one we're made up of you know more than 80 percent water ourselves so that's connecting with our our natural nature to temperature wise you can control so if you are anxious cold cold water just you know leaving it on cold letting it run hands under that will help calm down the anxiety if you are at a point where you um may have a lot of tension then the warm order and feeling you know connected to to allow that flow of energy to go through and just being intentional about the 10 minutes because in that 10 minutes then what starts to happen is you have nothing else to do and the first times of course it's all of the like you said it's the what could I what else could I be doing and now after you trained yourself it is kind of what can I be fixing
now I'm I'm thinking about solutions to things that are known issues and I have time to kind of think it through without somebody else's input not having that initial conversation with your coach or your spouse or somebody else this is you and you because if you listen you already has the answer you just don't listen to yourself about yourself we're still to influence about with the external forces to listen to ourselves
only if you do not sell those [ __ ] things because if you sell your art or your craft it's no longer inner work time it's work time and fundamentally the point of hobby is to do something badly over and over and over again you're not supposed to be I mean if you want to be good at it right it's a skill you can get better knitting crochet all of those types of handicrafts are things that you can turn your brain off once you know how to do but do not try and use hobby time as turning it into something that you can monetize later that is just antithetical to what we're after here you know Hobbies become hustles [Laughter]
[Music]
what you enjoy when you're shutting off your brain like how if if you don't if you hate exercise taking a walk's probably not gonna do it for you you're gonna be like Ping you well now I don't wanna and it's not gonna it's not gonna achieve the effect that you're after but when we hate it all so much because it feels wrong to be not doing something productive then lean into the sensory things things that sound good taste good feel good on your skin those things are how you separate your thinking brain from your doing brain and that became the half an hour detox bath with no phone because that feels good to me that sounds good with the right elements it smells good and I am still one with myself and allowing the release of things to happen it is also for some people it showers where you actually release physically through crying through tears to allow yourself to be cleansed um that that is you know so that's building up to that half an hour and then are you listening to meditative music if that works for you uh do you have candles lit if that is what you like um you know the aromatics um plate into it so back to what works for you what brings you to that state of nothing else is going on around me or I'm not worried about the things that are going on around me and setting boundaries for you to be able to do it don't set yourself up to take that bath at six o'clock on a Thursday night knowing that you've just got in from taking picking up kids from soccer you've got to get dinner done and you're trying to run your order right here we're rushing again run your water to do the stuff with the kids to be able to jump into the bathtub so that you can then no that's not how it works there's preparation all around this you need to have prep time going into it and you need to have the time after it for Recovery where you're still in that peaceful State and you can allow yourself to stay longer if you so choose and to set the boundaries within your household if you have kids if you have a spouse if you have a roommate do you have animals setting the boundaries so that you can be able to do that and start with the smaller time if possible if it's only 15 minutes then again we're at 15 minutes and then increase it there are times I've done 90 minute baths now have the whole time been that process no but I've had that within it and then I've allowed for myself to do something else that I enjoy outside of that so yeah I think and rewarding yourself each and every time that you successfully do it and reward yourself for each time that you prepared to do it and it may not have happened because of life because it was your intention though setting the intention is important and I think that's what's key in our work that I want really to take away from here is that it's hard and it's always going to feel hard and therefore you should always be rewarding if it happens and just the attempt to have it happen the more that we look at inner work because again it's hard but the more that we look at it as a gift that we give ourselves the easier it is to do yeah it has it has definitely become easier and it's definitely about that that release time for me I spent so much time holding on to a couple of things that you know I was like yeah yeah no that's not what you know tap on the shoulder a you might want to let you know nah nah I need to try harder because this is for me this is like this is mine like I'm not letting go of this because and hold on hold on and literally just you know for the sake of visual there can be blood coming out of my hand but I'm going I'm holding on to this thing as tight as I can because I don't want to lose it because I don't know what and then when you start to say hmm have I been notified about this before open is there a possibility that there's something better on the other side open can I control what may possibly be on the other side of it open you know so when you just start to to think about the options and controlling things from that moment and creating from that moment what could be the reality on the other side you start to say hold up what was I holding on to that well now I can have this and so the story about this week will come out eventually I believe that this is going to be a written one to talk about this story but it's exactly what you've been saying Briar it's about doing the inner work to get to the point where those decisions that are being made internally are coming from that place of not Consulting of not being about how is it going to affect everybody else not being about well but in the past but in the future no because inner work equals inner knowing mm-hmm yeah and that's it and those decisions start to come easier and easier your awareness self-awareness and awareness of how other things are impacting you become greater and greater almost to the point where you're kind of freaked out you're freaked out by was it really this easy and if I had done some of this stuff a while ago where might I be so start now I need to start now making these decisions and listening to myself stop I can't blame stop shifting blame on other people as well and if I couldn't control it I couldn't control it let go of that let go of it I don't need to take it in my bag to remind me no because I need to shop for new things so I need to make room so release that so that you can receive what is really meant to be for you and to move with other people that are doing the same goes back to that not only support but being in alignment with other people that believe in doing the work because if you're doing the work and other people around you are not ready to grow or do the work is there will be a lot of conflict a lot of conflict all right my friend what are we talking about next week
um I know the inner work took over but let's talk about four type of relationships that really can lead to revenue and how to utilize them to get there amazing it'll be fine y'all yes yes yes all right well this has been relationships and revenue with the operator and I think that the relationship with yourself is the most important one so start there and then everything else follows it's the one you can always get back to that's correct this has been the neurodiversity media Network you can find us at finally the neurodiversitymedianetwork.com right I'm so excited paid subscribers get access to a couple of private streams plus you get to help build and support this work we are building master classes with some truly fabulous people whose internet just cut out and we're doing the work together and having an incredible time so if you would like to support that please come join us neurodiversitymedianetwork.com and we will see you all again next time talk to you later y'all bye
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