Unlearning How To Ask For Help w/ Marissa Loewen

0:00:03 - Briar

Hello, welcome everyone. I am Briar Harvey. This is the Neurodiversity Media Network Today. No yep, there you go. Today, we are here with our new logo and our new color palette, all of which was designed by Marissa so. It is only fitting that she gets to be the benefactor of all of the new stuff.

0:00:30 - Marissa

The first showing.

0:00:31 - Briar

So and it's relevant, right, because today we're going to be talking about the ripples of asking for and receiving help What that actually means, not just for you but for your community, and it's important.

0:00:51 - Marissa

Yeah, i think, you know, when we look at the greatest changes that in our, in our history, i mean it might be one person's idea, maybe, that someone said, hey, how about we do this? How about we, you know, create this idea? But were they done by themselves like great movements? We had to have a team, we had to have people there helping us, right? I think about all these great ideas that you know have been coaching for over eight years now. I got to hear, you know, hundreds, thousands of great ideas and I think about how many of them didn't come to light or go forward because the ability to ask for support, you know, even as a coach at the time, it's like the way we had structured things back then. You know they were saying you got to always stay in coach position, don't slip into your marketing gear, don't step into your do it yourself, all these boundaries and things like that that they, of course, teach us to do. But you know, sometimes people just really need someone to sign into their website and figure out why that thing isn't working right, and then that's a huge momentum, you know, and you know, or you know, it's like I don't know how to set up this affiliate code on my website. Okay, let's just sign in and figure it out.

These seemingly small things can be huge hurdles in our lives and business for over a year or more, whereas if we were just asking for help and got the help that we actually need, we'd be able to move forward. And I think we've had a lot of talks about the coaching industry. We both have come from the digital coaching industry I'll even go to as far as saying the Facebook coaching industry, which is even a different economy, and you know, it's this thing where it's like. You know, how can you offer as little support as possible for the most amount of money? That's the goal, right. But you know what? It isn't always mindset, it isn't always this decision that I'm just not going. I'm going to have a belief system and I'm going to stick with it, and that's why I'm not achieving my goals. No, sometimes it's just that fricking pop up that you can't figure out on your website. That's blocking people from seeing your content, and that's very real life, right.

0:03:14 - Briar

You know, my husband talks a lot about the great men of history. Which, right it's such an insular term, especially because the great men of history are almost all white cis men, right, sure, and yet they also had, like other people behind them. What makes a great man of history isn't the fact that he's Jesus, it's his disciples, right, right, like Jesus was great, and also, who spread the word, who knew about Jesus? It was because of the disciples, and this is the thing that I think he's lost on so many of us.

0:03:59 - Marissa

Yeah, i mean, there's that great video that's often referenced where it's not the first person dancing, it's the first person to join them and it's a guy, you know, he's at a festival and he's on the side of the hill and there's a good song on and he goes off to the side and he's just doing his thing And everyone's sort of looking at like, look at that guy, look at that guy. And then some other guy walks over and he's like you know, starts doing the dance with them And then suddenly, within you know a minute, there's 60, 80 people dancing with the guy. And I think this is something that we, you know, we watch that video and it's shown in a lot of leadership courses and you're kind of like yeah, yeah, yeah, but we don't actually put the processes into place for us to do it and for us to be supported. And I think this is the biggest thing is like, when I look at viral campaigns, people are like, oh, i went viral on TikTok.

Well, you know, okay, sure, you had 100,000 or 300,000 people like a video, but then what? Right, what about the? you know, what are we doing with the 10 people that shared it? What are we doing with the 10 people who saved it and sent it, you know, to a friend. You know what's happening there, right? What's happening to the person that consistently comes back and, you know, gives you that, that comment to keep going, right. We often ignore that, we often kind of brush over and we just say okay, yeah, but I went viral. But you went viral because people cared enough about what you were saying in that, in that moment, to help you out. To help you out, okay.

0:05:33 - Briar

And dry reality in and of itself isn't enough. Like we can look at lots of 15 minutes of fame that never go any farther than that because there was no support structure.

0:05:46 - Marissa

That's right, And there's no ability for you to actually step into who was standing in front of you asking for help, Right? A really great example I did see of someone who went viral and then activated the people that were standing in front of her Because the lady, do you remember, she found like the Chewbacca mask at like Marshall.

0:06:07 - Briar

So good.

0:06:09 - Marissa

Right And runs into her car and she's like guys, I have to show you this. And she puts right And she's just like laughing while it was like the most shared video or something the most street in in Facebook stream history. And so Facebook actually brought her to Facebook up to Menlo Park And she was like it's not enough, I don't want to be here for me, I want to be here to raise money. And she went out to those people, said I love that, you love this video, But you know what, While you're here, here's how we can actually do something.

I can't do this on my own. I can keep making you laugh, I'll put this mask on as much as you want, But let's take this the next level and let's start raising money. Let's start actually coming together as a group. I'm not saying that every time you create a piece of content goes viral, you've got to turn it into a fielded story of giving to others. But she recognized, she said here's the things I need. She got like she had like a website set up. She had, she had a fundraising link. She had everything set up within 24 hours of and said here's how we're going to actually make this a thing.

0:07:17 - Briar

And I was like, wow, And she didn't do that by herself, That's what's key about this story is that she has a lot, of, a lot of, a lot of a lot of things about this story is that she had some kind of community that she activated and said this is happening, i need help. Yeah, that had to be what happened.

0:07:36 - Marissa

We were like let's get you a domain, let's get you a website. They went together and it was all crazy. Yeah, She thanked people a couple of days later, so thanks for getting us all together, and I thought, wow, okay, this is asking for support and then allowing her to do what she does best, which is laugh and make people laugh and peep and enter you know and activate them and get them to share. And she knew how to do that exactly Right. She didn't need to know the rest because she had a team of people who all of a sudden, came through and said we can make this into something else.

And this is when we're looking at in our life and our business. It's like all these opportunities where we aren't set up to even ask or receive help. Right, and we go out there and we might. I don't want to say this and we've said this before you ask for help, but it's not the help you really need And you're not asking the people who can help you, right, there's a safety and being told no, right, and this is the danger that we don't always talk about that safety of being told no. Well, no one helped me, no one could help me, no one could help me get this done, so this is why I'm here, and it's like you ask the people who were already overburdened, you ask the people who were already exhausted, you ask the people who didn't have the skills to help you.

0:08:58 - Briar

Twice yesterday I had conversations about the ways in which Southern culture is very inculcated in the idea of competence and that to ask for help clearly indicates that you are incompetent and therefore not worthy of receiving help.

0:09:23 - Marissa

I think that's not just Southern culture though No, and I think a lot of people feel like they've got to help, Like, oh, there's this rule in Facebook groups that was really. It's still here. I saw one I drove on the other day and I was like when I saw it in there give more than you take. Uh-huh, That's a horrible rule. It's really ableist, first of all, But it's also like how do you even know how much I give and how do you quantify what I give? We've talked about this before. I've told catalyst members that they give by just showing up in the room, just even if they're completely silent. They give by sharing their wins. They give by, you know, crying if they need to. They have value as just being people, as opposed to giving, as opposed to contributing in some measurable way, And for most people, they don't even have a way of quantifying what they do or what they give. Right, People say I'm not enough. We can't measure enough.

0:10:24 - Briar

I mean even invisible, not their carry had real value in the work. So this is a funny catalyst story. But we had a member whose avatar got stuck in the room for like several months And we all knew that she was not actually there And it didn't matter. People were still grateful that that floating head existed in the room.

0:10:52 - Marissa

Yeah, cause it felt like you had somebody there beside you. I know we're going to have to. We're going to have to probably put a fake person in the corner again. It's just like here's Bob Bob's helping you co-work when no one else is around, and that's reality, right, and I think you know it's. It was very sad when fake carry finally disappeared. We had Briar and I had some small words to thank Carrie for fake carry, for you know her contributions and for being in the room And you know, and it was those kinds of things like that that was, fake carry was very valuable to us, you know, and very worthy and more than enough, without ever having said a single thing, you know, and I think these are things that we don't, we just don't talk enough about.

We just we assume that you have to always be doing something, giving something, giving your time, giving your money, and it's just not true, even supporting small business. You know things like man, if you just, even if you never bought for me, if you just took five seconds of liked my post, wow, you have no idea the ripple effect that that has. I was used to laugh like when Twitter was was the thing We used to always say like retweet, rt. You know, please RT this right. And we'd put out some sort of call to action And somebody, like every single time someone was like you know, if your content was good enough, you wouldn't have to tell people to tweet it. And that's like bullshit. They don't, even if they thought it was good.

If we don't tell people, if we don't give them a clear call to action, they don't. It's the old inertia, you know, like a thing in motion. If it doesn't hit. You know we've got to be the thing in motion in order to activate other people And that sometimes we have to tell them to retweet it or we have to tell them to care. You know, and that's the reality of our world And it's not anyone's fault. I don't want people to think like, wow, i have to actually tell people to care about things that are happening halfway around the world. Yeah, yeah, you do, because we're literally just going through the world, we're going through the motions, we're going through our to do list, we're trying to make sure we don't forget our kids somewhere. You know, all of these things that we have going on in our head if we don't take a moment and say here's why we should care about this. We don't, we just don't.

0:13:10 - Briar

And for me, there's a moment where, like when I remind people, there is always especially on YouTube y'all there is somebody in the comments saying something disparaging about oh, does that work for you? Well, yeah, actually it does work for me to remind people that I have a thing that I'm building over here. I'm sorry if you find my blatant self promotion to be offensive, but in fact I'm going to keep doing it anyway.

0:13:42 - Marissa

Yeah, i mean somebody posted yesterday we were talking about this, you and I about the abandoned cart emails, right? So it's like you know. Do you appreciate when people email you after you've abandoned a cart? Well, you know, sometimes it's creepy like I didn't put any information. How'd you get my information? But you know, i start putting in my information and I really love it when you send me a coupon I enjoy.

Sometimes I abandon a cart just to see if a coupon shows up in my mail the next day. But you know and that's you got to watch that if you're creating a business, creating the coupon weight culture is not great for your business long term. But you know, the whole band I mean it was like it was a resounding yes people were like, yeah, sometimes I start filling it out And then I get distracted. You know, my kid falls off a counter or something you know, and then I got to come back to it. The email helps you come back to it. So it's like one of those things where it's like you might hate doing it because it feels weird. There's going to be people out there who want it, right.

0:14:43 - Briar

And there was no one in that thread that I saw that was like no, don't send me, abandon cart emails. How dare you No one?

0:14:53 - Marissa

Yeah, there's actually quite a few responses to that, right, so I know it's interesting. We used to okay, if you don't know this, i used to accidentally be at the top of the pyramid in an MLM, and it was accidental, i didn't know what I was doing. I ordered something off the internet and then they went on Dragon's Den and they went. We were wildly popular, anyways. So I got like 300 people, 350 people, on my team accidentally, and one of the people I saw I can do she's like so we sold tea. So the thing is I had no desire to go into people's houses and do a tea party for them. I did it for a while And I was like this is the worst ever. I'm not, what am I doing with my life? And so. But it was really great tea. And so I set people up on an auto buy. So, basically, when you bought tea for me, i'd say, briar, how fast, how much tea do you drink? Like, are we drinking? like a cup a day, a cup a week? Like, what are we doing here? And people will be like, oh, i'm going to probably do a cup a day on this. I'm like, okay, well, here's how long this bag is going to last you. What I can do is I can put you on an email reminder And because it was an MLM, it was, like you know, the whole party benefit. So what I would do is I would just say, whoever ordered in this shipment going in, this order going in, i would draw a name and you will get the hostess benefits right And so it works. So, and just about everybody you know over the course of a year got got at least to be a hostess once. So you got a whole bunch of free shit. But you know people.

So I said that I was explaining this to one of my team members and she's like you just email people. Like you're like I'm putting in an order. My guy used to work order desk for a popcorn company. I literally phoned people twice a week to say we're coming to your, your neighborhood, do you need popcorn? I'm like same thing. I just send out an email And if people don't order, i don't care.

They can unsubscribe if they want to. They can agree to not be on that anyways, like I ask everybody do you want to be on my auto order? You don't have to, you don't have. It's not an auto ship, it's just sending you an email. You can join a party, you can make an order if you want to, but it's going to remind you every so often. I mean, like I think I had one person out of hundreds and hundreds of people that were like no, i do not want that, please don't ever email them, and like, okay. And then I was like I don't care. You know, i was like one person And otherwise like I didn't have to go into people's homes.

I just put in orders every month. It was like a couple hundred dollars, you know, twice a month. It was so easy for me to do. I didn't have to do anything. All I had to do was set up those emails and make sure that people's emails were on it, and I thought, oh my gosh, it's just like it's just helping people, it's helping people get what they want. That's asking for help, though, too. Right It's. I can't come to a tea party in your house, but I have set up the things that allow you to still get tea.

0:17:42 - Briar

And a lot of people probably found that exceptionally beneficial because they didn't have to have people over to have a tea party.

0:17:53 - Marissa

Yeah, nobody wants to clean their house.

0:17:54 - Briar

Nobody wants to clean their house. It's an MLM. It's already sketchy, But if I like the product, then giving me a way to buy it without having to participate in all of the shit around it. the culture is helpful.

0:18:11 - Marissa

Yeah, and it was great. It was a great product. It was really great product And it wasn't like overpriced, like huge expensive. I know I just bought some tea from the store and I was like, oh my God, i'm not used to spending this much money on tea. So when I think about like the pricing, it wasn't inflated like a lot of the MLMs out there, and it was really interesting to kind of see, you know, how people were excited about it And I didn't have to do all that work.

But that was me asking for help too. So it's like I can't do the thing that you know we normally would do. It's just not working out for me, but I still want to be a part of this And it was great. And so finding those things that are, you know, this is, you know, something hurting. Here's a good thing too. We'll walk around in shoes that leave our feet sore instead of going into a store and having them size your feet Right Well. We'll walk around with undergarments that pinch or are ill fitting instead of just walking in and having someone else measure under your ribcage.

0:19:21 - Briar

You know and that's interesting too because that's there's a lot of body shame attached to that Right My feet are too wide, my breasts are too big, and I don't want to have to have an intimate conversation with somebody about this part of my body that I don't feel good about. I would rather deal with discomfort.

0:19:51 - Marissa

Yeah.

0:19:52 - Briar

Than fix this problem.

0:19:53 - Marissa

Yeah. So let's talk about the ripple effects when we do say yes, okay, so let's talk about this. Well, i'll tell you something. I have met very grumpy people and I have asked them you're ginsh is too tight, right? And you would believe how many people are like, actually, yeah, i'm like you're wearing the wrong ginch. Your life is just a little grumpier because you're not comfortable. I joke.

I had a friend who was like I got a big interview coming up on Friday. Do you have any tips for interview? I said, first of all, wear full bottom underwear. I knew shwarthongs normally And she's like what I'm like when your ass is covered, you're covered. You will feel so good going in there, and she thought it was hilarious. Then she comes out. She's like I was way more confident, like yeah, yeah. So those things of like being supported whether it's your underwear, whether it's your in your business, whether it's like having really good friends, whether it's, you know, having those things, like actually having that ripple effect You're able to.

I mean not only just on a day to day basis. You feel good about your life. You bring more ease, but when shit does hit the proverbial fan, you're ready. You don't have to go try and scramble and find the support system. When you're in the middle of it, yeah, you're hitting the alarm button and people are coming to find and help you.

Right, and I think this is what holds people back, because I think, oh, i mean you ask any insurance company, right, they thrive on this stuff. But in the reality of the world, like we should also be having support insurance for ourselves. Okay, who do we ask for for help? Have more than one friend with a truck on moving day? Okay, have more than one plumber on speed dial, have more than one. You know, have your backup plans, because when that happens, when things, when you're in the pinch, you you're able to handle it, you're able to, you know, moderate it, you're able to bring into it without this kind of disaster. You know it could be very disastrous, but you've got your support system there. That just helps it make a little bit better.

0:22:11 - Briar

And again, this doesn't have to be hard, because building a support network doesn't mean you're asking for help right now. You're actually storing up the possibility that I might ask you for help later.

0:22:25 - Marissa

I made the mistake of putting out on Facebook and LinkedIn. Do you know anyone that does? I think it was like online ads Facebook and Google ads.

0:22:37 - Briar

It was LinkedIn, and this was a week's worth of people.

0:22:44 - Marissa

I had like 60 plus texts, phone. I was like, how'd you get my phone number, calls, email? I was like, okay, not happening, i'm never going to do this again. But I was like, okay, but I do want to find some people who are really trustworthy. Fast forward to this week, i've had three people ask me who do you know that does online ads?

Right, here's a ripple effect. It's not me necessarily doing the ads, but people trust me And they trust my opinion. Me having one or two recommendations means, further down the line, they know that they come back to me. Okay, you and I are connectors. We know the value of this right Ripple effect. Ripple effect of having someone to refer means that they come back and keep asking you for other things. When they come back and ask you other things, they see what you're offering, they see what you're selling Ripple effect. So if you want to see something in direct sales where that return on having these things in place ripple effect Okay.

The other side of it is we always laugh at the buzzword like Clubhouse was really bad for this, but Facebook has also been bad for this is the. If you want to have success in business, you got to hire a coach. You've heard it. I'm sure everybody has heard it. It's bullshit. But but here's what I will say You don't need to hire a coach, but you do need to have, like, support, know where you're weak, know where you hate doing things and find somebody quickly to help you do that.

0:24:26 - Briar

You know in theory, a coach points out your weaknesses to you so that you can potentially see beyond your own blind spots. Sure, but you don't need to pay a lot of money to a coach to do that either. I'm sure there is probably a person in your life that you know. right now, that is more than happy to point out to you all of the things that you might be missing your significant other already knows already.

0:24:57 - Marissa

Your, your mother probably already knows, your, you know, like your kids probably already know too, and that's the reality of it, right? And again, they're just waiting to be supportive of supportive of you, and this is let's let's segue into this. So, when criticism and feedback is support, ripple effects. Okay, so we have just embedded the catalyst into our membership system. Somebody's having a problem they can't use the chat. I'm like this is weird. We haven't had this problem for an.

All of a sudden, i say, oh wait, how are you getting to the room? Right, we knew that there were some problems. You've been testing it out. Sure enough, they're using that top link. That doesn't work very well. I'm like, how about you try this one? It works right.

Now I could go and say that they're like What is the platform you're on? I'll go look at the help. I'm like, no, no, this is my responsibility to find this out, because if it's not working for you, it's going to stop, like we just we haven't seen it before yet. So I can't give you an immediate answer, but I want to know. And so, yeah, it took me like an extra. That's feedback, that's criticism. Okay, it's like your thing doesn't work. I literally pay for this thing to work and it doesn't work, i can go Oh, that's not for me, or that person doesn't know they're talking about, or that person doesn't know how to use tech. No, absolutely not. There's an accessibility issue in here. Ripple effect I'm now building a better product. I'm now building a better service, because I know that there's, and we've also built a line item in saying, hey, if this one particular thing doesn't work, try this. Right Now we've got a knowledge base building Ripple effect Everybody has used tech that has no help system.

0:26:41 - Briar

Lord.

0:26:42 - Marissa

Right, and it's like the the moment that tech company decided not to engage help with their users. They flatten themselves.

0:26:55 - Briar

Yeah, the tech that I pay money for and a lot of money for in some cases is to companies with such great help that I'm happy to tell them what is not working so that they can fix it because I know that they will And they're happy to have a relationship with someone who is going to tell them what is not working, like you love it.

0:27:20 - Marissa

When I say, hey, marisa, this is broken, yeah, yeah, i mean I hate it because it's like right, i'll do it, but it means that we have the opportunity to make this even better. And the thing is is that, as we grow the catalyst and we have thousands of people roaming those if we've got one little line in our knowledge base, that's like Hey, if you're experiencing the same with the chat, try this. We've now reduced our support calls. We've now reduced a friction that people have with us. And here's the thing when you're running business, every time you have a moment of friction, people are more likely to walk away. People are less likely to refer you to someone else.

0:28:00 - Briar

And they're not going to tell you what's causing them friction. Most of the time It's just going to be a little annoyance that goes Oh well, i don't like that. I'm not going to give you my money next time, yeah.

0:28:16 - Marissa

Yeah, and that's the reality. And so it's like how do you set up systems in your business that actually allow yourself to ask for help, allow for, ask for feedback, and then how do you receive it? Right, i have criticisms all the time. I'm the type of person that people feel that they can criticize openly. Now, part of that is I've I've cultivated that with people, you know, and sometimes I take it and sometimes I'm just like Okay, because I'm I'm, i don't like labels, and we all know that. But here's the thing I don't want that to stop. I don't want people to stop telling me how they feel about me, whether I agree with it or not, because I often have no idea how I'm out in the world.

I am oblivious to a lot of the things I say and do, because I just stumble around. Today I was out and out and about in the retail shops, as the kids say, and and wow, i realized how old I am because I'm now that person who makes weird. I've always been the person who makes weird, awkward conversations, but it worked out really well for me today because, as I was pittering around trying on clothes, this person was like Oh, you know, i said. All of a sudden I said Do you happen to have any jumpsuits? And she's like We do have jumpsuits. So she went and brought me some jumpsuits and I tried them on And of course they didn't have the size. And I said Can you ask another store if they have it? And she was like I would love to. And then she called and then she was like that store has one and they're going to put it on hold for you. Can we put your name on it? Yes, then I ran over to that store And then I said Hello, you put something on hold for me.

They're like Yes, here it is. And then, and then they chatted with me about you know. And she's like Here's some things, how you can wear this differently. And next thing, I know I've got like a whole outfit, like you know that I was more than I and guess what it was? because, one, i asked for help, i asked for support. Two, they leaned into it And they were like And so here's the thing I get to walk away with an outfit and they get to have more sales on their, their, their report, which helps them in the long run to right.

0:30:22 - Briar

I think part of the issue here and we've talked about this a little bit before, but I don't know how to quantify it People seem to think of help as a currency, and a currency of which they have a limited amount. Like I only get to ask for so much help And then my help bank has run out And I'm gonna have to earn more help to be able to ask for more help.

0:30:52 - Marissa

It's the reason why I hate spoons. I hate, yes, spoons. I get that. it feels good for some people. It has never felt good for me. I understand the idea around it. I have only so much energy when I do these tasks, these tasks. It makes me more exhausted, but it creates this bank. It creates this also, this idea that that we always have a limit and we don't always have a limit, but we expect the limit.

The one thing I really liked about, i don't know, mike Dooley he did the thoughts from the universe, but one thing he had in one of his books that I really, when I read it, i was like, shoot, i'm doing this is he literally was like I'm tired all the time. Like people were like, how are you doing, i'm tired? And he started feeling more and more tired, right, and he, like people were like, oh, how was your week at work? Oh, i was. I was tiring. And he felt like more and more tired and he couldn't quite figure it out. There's nothing physically wrong with him. He went to the doctor, all this kind of stuff, and then he stopped saying that He'd be like I'm really good, i've got less of energy and it's changed. And I mean, it's not always simple that we have disabilities and I want to always. I want to bring in all the nuances.

But I thought, oh my gosh, that's part of the challenge with asking for help as well. If I think I don't have any help, i'm not going to look for opportunities where help might exist. If I think that there's no money or support, i'm not going to go look for grants and loans. I've seen this so many times. I'm like people are like well, i need a big cash influx And I'll say, okay, well, what kind of grants, loans and bursaries are in your area right now? And then what can you do? like federally? Oh, that's going to take too long, okay, but if you do it this week, you might have it in a month or two months or three months when you're going to need cash again. Well, i need it this week. You're going to need it this week again in three months.

0:33:00 - Briar

Especially when there's that lack mentality around it.

0:33:08 - Marissa

Yep, yeah, i always say let's sit down and do your SEO, and people are like that's going to take too long. You're right, It is always going to take so long because you never started.

0:33:20 - Briar

And SEO is a really good example of this because there are so many good tools literally that will walk you through. It be like fix this, push this button over here, add this tag. That's your assignment for the day. If you just come back and do that a couple of times a week, how even once a month for half an hour makes a huge difference in your SEO.

0:33:47 - Marissa

You're doing the daily thing in squirrely, aren't you? Because I'm also on day 11. But I love it, right, right, here's the thing you need to do. Well, if I kept putting that off, i'm never getting it done. That's asking for help as well, right, and so the ripple effects of not asking for support is yeah, you are going to feel tired, yeah, you are going to feel exhausted, yeah, you're not going to have any resources when you really really need it.

The other side of it is that we've talked about this before. We often wait because we're taught this that we have to be burned out, tired and exhausted before we get help. We have to be at the bottom. We don't. We need to start going for the massage when we feel good. We need to start working with the coach when life is really good We need to start, not when we're desperate and we need cash And we're going to.

If I hear one more story where the person's like I had to go ask my grandma for that 10K so I could afford a coach and it changed my life Like no, you should have got get that 10K from grandma, but go invest it in like a proper marketing structure and get some ad ROI and then pay back grandma in like a month or two, Like we're not. We don't need to be going off to a coach when you've got nothing like that. We need support systems. We need actually things that are going to move the muscle, move the needle, i should say. So here's the thing. The other side of it ripple effects is that you're showing other people what's possible for them, because we have billion dollar industries who really want people to be tired, burned out and exhausted. Okay, including our healthcare systems.

0:35:25 - Briar

Especially our healthcare systems, whether it's for profit or whether it's government sponsored, there is no difference here. Healthcare is not in any way preventative.

0:35:39 - Marissa

Yeah, yeah, they're keeping their jobs safe. And here's the reality. Okay, if we start modeling a different approach, it makes it possible for other people. Okay, if we start representing that we get support, that we get help, that we get, and that we ask for it and that we demand for it, this starts changing the way our governments have to work. This starts changing the way I was talking yesterday. I said you know, for the most part, i've seen some incredible movements happen recently where people just got tired of waiting for the government. They lobbied the government, lobbied the government, didn't get anywhere and said you know what? we're just gonna private fundraise this and just create it. And that's the reality. Okay, and people will say well, we can't let the government sleep on it. Well, i'll tell you something we can leave the government behind, because at some points, when we've created the reality that we want, they do have to catch up, because we don't need to vote for them anymore.

0:36:36 - Briar

Sam Altman of OpenAI has talked a lot about how he wishes the government was more involved in the development of AI, because there should be rules and there should be structures. And listen especially in the United States, i feel like we're 10, 20 years out from even figuring out a way to be involved And imagine where the tech is going to be 20 years from now. And it's going to be because private development has made that possible, not because the government stepped in.

0:37:16 - Marissa

Yeah, i mean, even Elon Musk wants the government to be more involved. Like, what kind of weird reality are we where we all are sort of like listen, elon's got a point here, and he rarely has points. He's very spherical in many ways, but, like, dude's got a point about this And you think about this. there's a reason, though, why the billionaires want the governments to be involved. Okay, it's not entirely for good either.

0:37:47 - Briar

Nope, don't think they're being altruistic here. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, that's the reality of it.

0:37:54 - Marissa

We have to start, we have to kind of becoming our own influencers in these kinds of realms and stop letting the government because that's also asking for support, That's also receiving support right Is basically creating the reality that we now want and then letting the government, you know, catch up because they're now out of a job. Well, and even when the government is involved.

0:38:19 - Briar

It's like all of the people asking for regulation of the coaching industry. I get it. And also, what are they regulating And how are they going to be making it better? Because, until you can answer those questions, more regulation doesn't always equal more support. In fact, it almost always equals less support. There's like what? three or four?

0:38:44 - Marissa

main accrediting bodies right now for coaching industry that I know of. They overlap in many ways. They overlap in many areas. So once you get regulation and you've now they're going to have to fight it out Like who's going to actually do the regulation, because they're going to want self-regulation as opposed to government regulation, which some people don't realize the full extent of that and what that actually means and how that does tie in with the government.

I used to work for the self-regulating body of physicians here, so there is a lot of things to think about when we talk about regulation of the coaching industry. But here's the other thing Like you said, what are we actually regulating? So we have regulation of therapists And there's a big reason why a lot of therapists are becoming coaches Okay, because they've regulated themselves out of the ability to make a living being a therapist, and good and bad. I mean we still have to protect patient privacy. We still have to make sure things are HIPAA compliant. We still have to make sure that these kind of things are safe and that these are the regulatory things that I actually want to do. But I also want to look at are we regulating? I mean, the trauma industry is thriving, okay Again, people who are coaching on trauma are not necessarily doing it for your benefit.

0:40:21 - Briar

Many of them are, and there's some really fantastic trauma coaches out there And also, how are they talking about it?

0:40:30 - Marissa

I will say this I always kind of side eye a trauma coach okay, for many reasons, and if you know how trauma is created and maintained and fed and all that kind of stuff, you're like a trauma coach. That doesn't even make sense. However, a trauma support system might be in place And there's some people doing some really incredible things out there. I know some people who are doing creative trauma and it's like healing And it's really incredible the things that they're doing into place. But for the most part, you've seen a rise of people We're getting off topic here for that asking for help. But this is so interesting. We've seen a rise of people who are like I went through trauma And so I feel like I can help other people get through it too.

0:41:16 - Briar

See, but I don't think this is off topic at all, because this particular phenomenon is part of why people feel like asking for help isn't acceptable Because they've often gone to the wrong person and in the guise of getting help.

0:41:37 - Marissa

Yeah, and all they did was create more trauma or more problems. Yeah, i mean, i've seen this both in business and life coaching and trauma and all this kind of stuff. It's I've seen like and we hear it all the time in the catalyst, right, we hear people coming in and going, wow, like we don't have any shoulds. People are like what should I do in my business? I'm like what do you want to do in your business? Because, as your business, i can't make that decision for you. But the other side of it is that people cry, people release a whole bunch of stuff in that room, not because we have trauma, it's just because we don't have these trauma things And we don't have these trauma like we're not like set up to be trauma support, but like people find it for themselves because we have the space to do it. Or we were able to say, go to therapy, like, or go talk to your doctor about this, right.

And I think that getting that permission is necessary for some people because they've never been allowed to know that getting therapy or getting medication is okay. You're talking about the cultures in the south where if you're not providing help, you don't deserve to get help. Well, same thing. Right, it's like I can't go to a therapist. You know a huge shunning of therapy. We're still there, but I think it's becoming more mainstream now where people are like oh, i have a therapist And thank God. Right, like thank God that we have these support systems and they're becoming we're running out, we don't have enough therapists. But again, like we say, we look at that regulatory body. We look at some of the things that they you know people have have created incredible modalities or they've taken really amazing training And they aren't allowed to do it under their regulatory body.

0:43:33 - Briar

So some of these things are good and some of these things are not good, right, And I think that it's regulation of asking for help, that that's really what we're trying to put limitations around. One of the things that I have learned through our work together just through my own life and healing is that the more I ask for help, the more I want to ask for help. It doesn't. there's not an inverse effect here. The more I receive help, the more I want to ask for the next layer of support.

0:44:20 - Marissa

And I can ask squat challenge, right. So it's like, for 21 days, you must do a squat and ask for help. We're going to. We're going to create really strong lower back and pelvic systems for our body, but we're also going to practice working out our muscle for asking help And I, like you, I'm horrible for asking for because I just do it myself, But in definitely we've been practicing and even our relationship, you and I, it's like asking for support.

I don't know how many times I was like Briar, can I ask you to look at this? and you know, Briar, can I ask you for this? That is practice too. I'm not saying I'm perfect at it. I will often wait way too long. Why? Because I feel like here, actually I know why. So I come from the iterative, iterative development world And I know that we don't need to pick apart. We only pick apart the things that are important for that iteration. But I'm also autistic And so I also feel like I have to add in eight layers of nuance, because people will look at things that are not important. So I will pretty much go to the right, to the end, so that people can focus on the thing I'm asking help for. And that's, I think, one of the interesting things that we are going to all get stronger at is when somebody asks for help, we actually give the help they've asked for and not the help they haven't asked for.

0:45:51 - Briar

And that's hard, especially if you are a parent, especially if you are a partner, and I'm like I see you struggling and I know that you need XYZ thing, but that isn't what you've asked for. So I have a choice Do I offer you the help that you have asked for, or do I step over your boundaries and offer you the help that I think that you need And unfortunately, that's going to get you asking for less help.

0:46:27 - Marissa

Every time Yeah, or are you real? Yeah, because even if you don't recognize that the person has not necessarily given you like they're giving you, what they think you need is that you're like oh, that didn't help. I asked for it and I didn't actually get the help like it didn't help, so I'm not going to ask again. I always like to give the example of when I was looking for this filter. Tiktok has this like really cool filter where it like bokehs your background and it makes you like have really good, you know, you don't have to put on any makeup, and I'm like I like that. I like that it evens out my skin, and so does anybody know of any app that does this in there, like with the blurry background and the lighting.

And instead of people giving me app suggestions, i got, and I could say, put a video, a little clip of videos so they could see what it looked like. I got somebody who was like here's a tip on how you can look more confident, which you could only imagine how I responded to, and I was like yeah, so actually, because her big thing was that I didn't make eye contact continually with the camera And so it made me look like I didn't have confidence. I'm like your determination of my confidence level is about you, and while I appreciate that you're trying to give me advice, i didn't ask for because, if you look as not asking for confidence tips, i was looking for an app that provided the same thing. I'm going to tell you something If you continue to watch my videos, you are going to be very disappointed in me because my eyes go everywhere else, but straight ahead.

If I want to, i can focus it, but that means that my content or my message might not be as clear because I'm using my focus there. I said your ability to judge who is confident or not is a you problem And it's not mine. And you know, i know she was quite taken back, but, like ma'am, you don't know me. You have no idea my confidence level. My confidence level is very high. I am very, very proud of myself and impressed with myself, and if you can't see that because my eyes aren't looking at a video in a 15 second clip, that's actually not my problem. You need to reevaluate your own judgment around other people or not.

0:48:42 - Briar

I don't think that you could have taken her to task for being very ableist, because we don't do the eye contact.

0:48:51 - Marissa

Whatever. I explained that I said you've got a large population who are never going to look at you or the camera in the eye. So if this is your thing, if this is what you're selling, you better hurry up and adjust it, Otherwise you are going to run out of audience Or not. You get to do whatever you like.

0:49:16 - Briar

So how do we impact the ripples?

0:49:25 - Marissa

Like yeah, how do we measure? or do you mean like, how do we?

0:49:31 - Briar

know. It's more like okay, when you're throwing skipping stones right, there's technique here. I can make it just jump two or three times. If I get the right stone, if I throw it right, you know, i can get that shit halfway across the lake. I know because I spent many years practicing this entirely useless skill.

0:49:55 - Marissa

I think you know, a good way that we can do this is start to recognize where we are getting help, and this is a. somebody was talking recently about how someone was talking about how like they're good. Someone was talking about how like their great modality that they created, but they didn't mention all of the coaches, mentors, term paper like papers, thesis, whatever all this content that they had farmed their great idea from, and it was like we should be citing our sources. We should actually be recognizing. it's something I'm trying to do, really like I try, even when I post on Facebook, like I'll say you know, briar was part of this conversation, you know. you know Darcy was. it was a was a catalyst for this idea And the reason why one is I'm trying to show people that I'm not doing this all by myself.

We just built a whole new catalyst site and we have three sections in there. you're one of them And the. you know the three quotes you, veronica and Viva are all about the people in the catalyst and not about me, and that's very, that's very important to me, because I think we do not show We're so worried about plagiarism, we're so worried about, you know, be like people taking away our credibility. we've got to be the leading expert. we've got to be the foremost expert, we've got to be the. No, it's like me and 50 other people contributed to this idea, and look what we got.

0:51:31 - Briar

You know it's a big part of what I do here. Obviously I don't want to be the expert on everything. I want people to come in here and teach me to and teach my audience. I prefer to not know all of the things because that allows me to learn and grow and change. And if I have to be the expert, if I have to know everything. Yeah then I am fallible.

0:52:03 - Marissa

Yeah, yeah, and I think I don't care. Like, for me personally, i don't look and go. You know, did you figure this all out yourself? Like I know it's important to some people, i do, like I love independence, thought, i love independent creativity, but I also love where people are. Like I saw this picture and I thought maybe I could make it myself. Cool, right, and here's the differences, here's where I, here's where I went off the track, right, And that's where those like paint nights are fun, because you literally have this picture and a teacher is like showing you this masterpiece that they've created And then you go and you, you do your own version of it and the teacher walks around and celebrates all of your own individual. You know paintings and they all look a little different. There's nothing less value like there to each of those paintings isn't less valuable because everybody went and did their own thing.

0:53:06 - Briar

And I know, arguably we've learned something from somebody else and taken that skill and improved upon it.

0:53:16 - Marissa

Yeah, the light bulb is not the original light bulb. Right, the radio is not what Marconi came up with. Like even Marconi got his ideas from somewhere else. And it's like the more we start to recognize where things come from. I mean, we're in the world of like, where appropriation recognition is starting to become like. We got the internet. We literally have computers attached to our hands now. So you telling me you invented that I'm going to go on the internet and I'm going to see where this idea has been appropriated from in the world.

0:53:55 - Briar

Credit. So Edison is such a good example? right, because Edison stole so much of his shit from Tesla who, until fairly recently, within the last 50 years, reached the kind of popular cultural awareness Yeah, totally locked when he was creating and innovating.

0:54:18 - Marissa

I mean, it helps when you got a car named after you and who's it? Benedict Cumberbatch plays you. It helps when people are, you know, finally finally figuring out who he was. But he used to be like this, like indie hero, you know, for the nerds out there, and I think you know that's. I mean, it's interesting when we talk, people always get really mad. The Marxists really get mad when I talk about well, you know, jenny contributed a lot. Like Carl created it all. Like Carl did.

First of all, carl didn't even know some of the stuff existed until Jenny was like Hey, do you see what's happening over here? So, like you know, like this kind of stuff, where we, like we stand for, like the you know our hero, who, who, like everything is borrowed, everything comes from something else. The first computer was like what, thousands of years ago? like we're not, we're not creating anything new here, people, but we feel like we have to do again, we have to do all ourselves. This is my framework, this is I came up with this, this is, you know, and we do have plagiarism It's high. We do have copy, we have everything like this we do.

But I think it's also important to recognize where things are different And maybe where someone has made it even better than you. But they should credit you. They should say, hey, i did this with help. We saw I don't know who's going to be watching this, but we saw last year was at last December when a popular creator called out one of her top referral partners, one of her top students, her long time collaborator, for copying her stuff.

And we looked and the thing is like she credit, she did say I, i was inspired by this person, right. And then we looked at the content or like this is awkward, because it looks like the person did a better job of Okay, well, now what, right, now what, how much you know? this person obviously didn't want it to be credited. I had somebody recently who I did a podcast with and she gave me a heads up and said hey, by the way, i actually really like your model, that you're doing the catalyst and putting I'm gonna, i've, it's influenced me in my new program. She messaged me fully, i think that's okay, go, go forth, have fun.

0:56:50 - Briar

I was very early in my professional career. I built something and then realized how potentially derivative it could be seen as not that it was, but that it could be seen as and made sure to reach out to that person. like here I built a thing I don't think it's similar, but just in case I wanted you to know that this is what I was doing and she was incredibly grateful we continue to have a great professional relationship because i was like hey, i don't know if i stole this from you, because i just took your program but not made something, and i'm worried that somebody might miss perceiving. she's like no, please go out, put your thing in the world.

0:57:36 - Marissa

Yeah, i mean, can you imagine all the people that are creating communities using our platform right now? if I was like, no, it's too much like mine, oh, we can't serve everybody, go do it. But I I also will say there's some certain certain things that i've seen out in the world Where people have borrowed and and have not asked right, and so that's that's where we get into the other conversation. Maybe that's our in two weeks. We talk about this Is what happens when people We've we've helped people, but we were not asked to help people And we've helped them, and then what? Or we did help them and they just went and took it and ran with it. And I think we see this a lot in the business world, where you brainstorm with somebody and then they go and take it and they go big with it.

0:58:33 - Briar

So there's another fairly big person in our circle who, like I, don't want to human design it, but they have an open head.

Okay, they have an open center open head center and then every conversation this person has ends up as a program that they've created like this. This just keeps happening over and over and over again And no one wants to say anything is really the thing that happened here is that everyone will circle around and go hey, i feel like I had a conversation with you about that thing, now you're doing that thing, and that's a problem. But I also don't think perhaps it's deliberate in this case, but in many cases it's really not. It's that there is a synergy, that we're all doing kind of the same thing at the same time in the same pond, and sometimes having an idea isn't the same as acting on the idea.

0:59:46 - Marissa

Yeah, i mean, there's this thing where it's like people will say if I'm doing the right thing, send me a sign. And my sign is show me a dragonfly. Well, the thing is, those dragonflies were buzzing around you All the time, even in the winter. Dragonflies are in every store you're in, but you didn't notice it, right. So now you've said to your brain I want you to notice dragonflies because I want this to be a sign. Okay, same thing with a car. I want to see a silver morano. You might not have never noticed it. And all of a sudden you're like, wow, we saw nine silver morano today. Well, because you were looking for it, right, and, and sometimes we and. But the thing is they were there anyways, right.

So you get a lot of people are like I just got a download today. Like you didn't get a download. You you had a chat with your friend or you watched it and add. Or you're like there's so many information, piece of information, coming into our brain at any given time, right. So part of it is being intent, intentional, about where you got your information. We, whenever we have an idea in the catalyst, what's the first thing we do? we go Google it, see if someone else had it Right. We go see if there's a domain. We go see if anyone's got a website on it. We go see if anyone has a podcast about it, because we know that we're always taking in information all the time.

1:01:07 - Briar

Well, and even that isn't necessarily negative feedback either. I often look at that is validation that my idea is good at has merit. Somebody else has thought of this before. Oh well then, people are interested in this thing.

1:01:24 - Marissa

Absolutely, absolutely. We have one of the members. We went, look, we realized that there's absolutely no competition for a course that she could create very easily. No competition, no one out there is doing it. So our next thing was well, maybe we got to go see, maybe no one's looking for it. Okay, thousands of people are looking for it. Okay, now we've got a cool idea, right? So those things rarely happen, though there's always somebody out there. There's other people with online memberships. I actually was a part of a online virtual community before I started the catalyst. It was somebody else's. I could see where it was working. Where it wasn't working, i got an opportunity to go with it And it's. I will say this to everybody out there If you have an idea and you want it to go big, you do not take your foot off the pedal, because someone else will get there before you.

1:02:20 - Briar

You know, I think, like all ripples, the ripple of the idea and I really like this from Elizabeth Gilbert, which is that ideas have form. They will come, they will visit you and if you do not act on it, they will go and visit somebody else.

1:02:39 - Marissa

Yeah, i think it was like the Beatles. They asked them like, how do you write all these songs? and they're like the songs, already written. We just pulled them from the sky.

I look at idea curation that way too. I look at as a whole bunch of pants coming on a line of laundry line and we take them off and we try them on and if they're not for us we put them back on the line there for somebody else. That's totally legit. But if we try them on and they fit really good, let's go, because that idea could also be, somebody else could be trying it on at the same time. Right. And this is where, again, we come back to asking for help. So if it's a really good idea, we don't sit on it by ourselves. Okay, you go and you find a group of people that can help you flush it out really quickly, find the weakness spots, find the strength spots, find the networking, find the grants, find the the. You know the money, the investors and you hit go. Having those people ahead of time and knowing who you can trust is essential.

1:03:35 - Briar

And I think that is for me. I know that if I go viral tomorrow, The first place I go is the catalyst. If something happens that I need to talk about, That's where I go, because there will be someone there to support me, to support the idea and to be able to help me in the ways that I am asking for.

1:04:05 - Marissa

Yeah, and if there isn't, we'll find them soon enough and we'll bring them in. We're going pretty quickly. I mean, this is the thing is like you know, and whether it's you know you've joined the catalyst or you have your support system elsewhere, this is life or business. You know, make sure you have these group people and know that they might be busy, and just because they're busy doesn't mean you don't ask again or ask someone else for that same thing, because that's that's the beauty of this, that's the beauty of being surrounded by. You know, great support systems is that it doesn't have to be on one person all the time, right, and so this is the ripple effect to having that support system.

Oh, i always think, like our, our spouses are significant others, our partners in our life often get the brunt of everything They're not meant to support you and everything you're meant to have. A bunch of people, because what happens is it wears it down And I've seen some really like unfortunate breakdowns and relationships because of the heavy load all the time Right. But they're significant, they're, they're their own people, they're the own main character in their world. My favorite word is Sonder, because it's the realization that you're the supporting character in somebody else's movie And I love that. But we often will just still bring all of this kind of heaviness and support needs on to one person. But the more people we have surrounding us, the more options we have for it. That's a ripple effect. Now we're helping them as well, so that they're not just the only one supporting us, and the other side of is they're seeing again that modeling of asking for support.

1:05:47 - Briar

We're not going to name names or call out genders, but this is, at least in my partnership, definitely true for my husband, who has spent his entire life seeing asking for help modeled as a weakness, and seeing me asking for help and getting it and not running out of a well of it, has absolutely changed his view on asking.

1:06:15 - Marissa

Yeah, my mother in law last night asked us you know, do you have somebody that's doing our lawn and he's cutting? Kevin is cutting it right now. And so we're like, yeah, kevin helps us do snow removal in the winter and he helps us do grass removal in the summer. And she said, well, how much, you know, does he call? well, $1,000 each each season. Change over. And she goes, oh my God. We're like, oh, no, it's a great deal. It's a fantastic deal. We've said we, every time Kevin helps us, ever like should we pay you more? and he's like That's great, this is fun And we are so grateful for Kevin to come in. And, yeah, my husband was like, no, no, for me not to have to think about cutting the grass or shoveling the snow when I get home is the greatest thing ever, and we've seen how much we love that.

I asked Kevin Kevin, you know, can you help me do weeds? He's like No, i don't do weeds. And I was like That's okay, thanks, it was easy to do that. Now I get to go ask somebody else And I said, kevin, i want to, i want to take out this, this grass here, and I want to put down. He's like I can help you do that, though, and I was like amazing. He's already sent me my checklist of things I need And he just says Tell me what day we're going to do. It will rip out the grass and we'll we'll put down these paving stones. Amazing, right.

I had a weed polar referral to he does, he does, and so it's like but the thing is like I could do that myself. There's a there's 800 YouTube videos, but getting to do it beside Kevin, who's already done it in his own backyard, and it's like priceless, right, we're doing it together. It's that done with you model.

1:07:55 - Briar

So y'all, if you would like to add yourself into Marisa's done with you model, you can find my affiliate link at briar Harvey comm slash catalyst And really like so. Much of its importance to me is the way in which it has created this community, that I get to be a part of that. I feel like I belong to the community And, honestly, for the late diagnosed autistic woman that's a big fucking deal. I have always felt like an outsider. I've always felt like I don't belong And I have managed to find this place where we're all just a little bit weird, and that's absolutely okay.

1:08:48 - Marissa

We've got a place to learn how to be like cognizant of other people's needs, other people's requirements, other people's like idiosyncrasies, like we're in there, we know like so much about people and it's like it's all okay, right, i think that's what people come in there like, well, this, this might seem weird. we're like it's probably not weird.

1:09:09 - Briar

It's just like I don't want to see And we've probably had this conversation once in the past already like, yeah, the ways in which we feel supported in there. So this leads into my webinar announcement, right? So a couple weeks ago I went in there and like Hey, marisa, hold me accountable. I have a thing that I'm writing and it's hard. And she says Well, how about we do it together? There was not even any question here of holding me accountable while I struggled to write the hard thing.

1:09:47 - Marissa

No doubt It was It looked like Briar. You know what we should do. We should actually make this a webinar and then you can record it, and then you can conclude it as part of a pitch deck. We should create a pitch deck, not just a blog post. And then the greatest part is I was like and then you can also be an affiliate for my Speak and Sell, which is a really great add-on to this webinar. So now it's recurring income for you. So as you go out and tell people about this, you have your affiliate link for Speak and Sell, which is in a. So like. Now we've built a whole plan.

1:10:21 - Briar

Around me struggling with one difficult piece of content And truly like this is the way asking for help works, once you figure out the right way to get there, and that's key. I asked for help writing a thing and I got that and more. Yeah, i got that and she made the graphics, because I hate that shit. She didn't even ask. She's like no, i have graphics for you tomorrow. Yes, of course I've included your logo in them. Why wouldn't I? You're?

1:11:02 - Marissa

like did you switch my cats around? Of course I did. You told me that while I listened? Of course I did.

1:11:12 - Briar

Y'all it's hard And we're never going to tell you it's not hard. What we're going to tell you is that asking for help gets to be easier the more that you exercise that muscle. So what we're going to be doing it's next Friday, the 9th, 2 PM Eastern, and you can sign up for that. It's briarharveycom slash captivate. I'll drop a link in the chat. We want you to be able to come and learn how we are building media things together. Like so much of what Marisa and I have done over the last six months a year. It's just been very organic. It's a hey, i'm building a thing. You want to be involved? Yeah, and also, can we add this to it? Yeah, and we don't think that's exclusive to us. Our partnership or our relationship, you can have that with anyone. You just have to know what you're building.

1:12:17 - Marissa

Yeah, and the other side of it is using. What that webinar is really going to do, too, is show you how you can use this collaborative media in your business eight bazillion ways. And the reason why we all want to do this? because we do have a finite amount of time. We might not have all the spoons, we might have all the forks, but I will tell you that we do still have a finite amount of time during the day And the reality our bodies love to sleep for some reason, i don't know. There's, damn it, unrealistic demands, right, right. And also we have families And we have things to do that aren't. So. If you can create these systems and so, coming in and working with Briar on this collaborative media project, with the Neurodiversity Media Network, you come in And it's not just this chat, i mean, it is. This is great, you have this moment and you're going live. It's the media afterwards, but you have the ability to create systems that help support before, during and after you go live with this media, and particularly the after, because we're creating these long-term conversations that you can use over and over again.

A lot of people put something out live for years, Years. What you didn't see is that I'm recording a whole bunch of background B-roll while we're doing this So that I can go put it out on my social media, so that I can go use all the stuff. It makes my life so much easier. We're going to show you exactly how to do that. So if you're listening to this live, please do come on to that webinar. If you're hearing this, afterwards, briar's going to have this up on our website, because the reality is we're going to create that webinar. That was my biggest thing. I'm like Briar you can have one blog post or we can create a webinar that you can use over and over again. So when people don't get it, when people don't understand how powerful this collaborative media network is, they can go watch this video and see how we're practically putting it into place.

1:14:14 - Briar

Because, again y'all, we are way too close to our own stuff. That's just a truth of our lives and our businesses, and I thought what I needed was a blog post, but actually what I needed was a piece of what I'm creating for myself.

1:14:30 - Marissa

You need a system And you love systems, of course, but I was like no, you need a system. You need a system to make your life easier, so that when you have that sales conversation with somebody joining the media network, it's right there And you'll be able to use that webinar, too, for sponsors Forever. But you'll be able to use it for sponsors and for the media creators. That's the beautiful part of it, because we're going to show the sponsors how this is. Investing in this once allows them to have years of content that they can use on their platforms as well.

1:15:03 - Briar

All right, y'all, we hope you come. That's briarharveycom. Slash captivates. We would love to see you there And really we want you to build things that you enjoy. We want you to be able to do the work that fulfills you and sustains you, and so much of what Marisa and I continue to build are ways to make that happen for you. It's not about us, it's about you. We want it to be for you, and we do that because we like you. We want you to thrive, because it makes us happy. Truly, nothing makes me happier than finding ways to help you grow.

1:15:53 - Marissa

I mean, we're also doing this because in about five to seven years, briar is going to be the leading expert on collaborative media. So what we're doing right now is setting that foundation up, where there's this mountain of work that briar is amassing with everybody to show. Here's what it is. So just imagine your work could be part of a collaborative piece, a lookback piece, if you will, of this incredible initiative. Collaborative media is going to be huge. Everybody Get in on this.

1:16:28 - Briar

I think so, But I am biased. It is my thing. So we would love to talk more about it. We will see you all next Friday And we will be back not in two weeks, because Marisa is not ever available on the off week, So in four weeks we will be back to talk about how you want to put it, the negative effects of asking for help or the ways in which asking for help is misperceived.

1:16:57 - Marissa

Maybe Or even when you've helped people but they don't recognize it. Yeah, and that's a thing that we need to process right, because sometimes it's worth, especially in terms of our IP. We need to make a decisions whether we want to go after that in court or whether it is something that we need to process in ourselves too, about how we're impacting. And for business owners, who are watching this as you grow your influence, you are going to see your ideas reflected out into the world, and so it can be hard to acknowledge that you've helped people who are not crediting you.

1:17:36 - Briar

So many layers y'all. We will be back. Thank you for being here. Thank you for asking for help. Go out and ask someone for help today. Truly, that's all we want. Go ask someone for help.

1:17:49 - Marissa

Absolutely Thanks everybody.

1:17:51 - Briar

Bye y'all.

Transcribed by https://podium.page