The Voices of Neurodiversity

there we are hello we are live welcome welcome this is the neurodiversity media Network and this is the voices of neurodiversity today we are going to be answering I think the question I get asked most often which is how the hell do you homeschool neurodivergent children and it is y'all less difficult than you think that it is and I think if if we can give you anything today in this hour I hope it is that that we have a bunch of different kids here with very differing paths who are going out and shining in the world in delightful ways and their education follows them it is not the other way around so today with me I've got the delightful Eric tevin's whose son jack is 18 and will be graduating from a public high school this year because he wanted to go back he'd been homeschooled most of his life up until what junior year uh sophomore year but it was all that was the coveted year so it was all remote which actually was like a perfect segue right into it and it's a unique so it's a public high school but it's at a college so he's technically a college student taking full-time college classes but it like is through this really unique program that Michigan has and that's important because you have more of these kinds of options when you are a homeschooler we also have Dr Tiffany McKennan Russell and her child Sydney is 10 now 11. oh my goodness she's just growing up before our eyes Okay Sydney is with the Broadway touring company of Frozen and she plays young Elsa she's just God this incredible child I we've known each other for a few years I had Sydney on my very first podcast to talk about kids movies shock Frozen two we reviewed Frozen too and now she is in this touring company and they okay so let's talk a little bit about what that looks like you're in a new city every what two weeks two to three weeks every two to three weeks you don't go home you have there is a tutor on staff I think right yes um so they do um have a tutor that travels um so they can have a tutor and a Wrangler they call them to keep the kids together um and uh so um but for Sydney it's a little unique because since she homeschools um I'm her primary instructor so she is sort of very self-contained but she has the tutor there as well so again all these options that are available when you homeschool so y'all let's start at the top how did you decide that homeschooling was the right thing for you

uh I decided in so um Jack was in kindergarten and his birthday is in November so he could have waited but we started because I'm also a November birthday person and so um and I had started and it and it went fine for me in school um and also you know capitalism like I needed to work I needed we didn't have like free child care so it was economically it makes sense made sense to just you know have him start with school and we knew we'd be very involved parents so I wasn't really worried about him like falling behind or anything um and my recollection of kindergarten was like 80 play so I was like it's fine it's like it's not a big deal it's just kindergarten you know no I was very very very wrong in how kindergarten had changed since I had been there um so it was 80 percent work desk work for these like little five-year-old babies and um and so that was really like that was really hard and so I I had gone to school to be a teacher I had been a high school teacher I'm super pro like teachers and like public education I never thought in a million years I would be a homeschooler it was not in the cards I was super excited to have that time back for myself um but I just knew like my kid wasn't happy I always loved especially Elementary School I loved it um so that was really shocking to see that juxtaposition of experience and so I started looking into it I found some other people in my area who had been homeschooling I was doing a lot of researching asking questions reading books everything like that we decided to try school for one more year uh just in case and by Christmas break like by that winter break I was like this is it like we're gonna go spring semester we'll wrap it up but then then we are pulling him um because it was just it was like making him hate school he would like fake sick I never even thought like a young kid would like fake sick to get out of school and what is like kind of more disturbing as it wasn't he wasn't getting bullied he wasn't having like typical negative School experiences that you would think that would cause a kid to want to stay home from school it was just school it was just school and we like when we went in before the holiday break for that parent-teacher conference she was very much like have you thought about medicating him whatever and like to know my child he is chill like he's Chiller than chill like that he was not causing issues he wasn't Disturbed like he none of that was happening he literally was just like he wanted to play he wanted to daydream he wanted to hang out like stuff that kids do right and he didn't want to sit in a desk for six hours a day I don't want to sit at a desk and pay attention for six hours a day I can't even do it as an adult so I just knew I was like this is not this is not the journey for us and so we pulled him we were very lucky to find a group of friends that we would do a lot of activities together that were very like-minded and uh and yeah and it worked beautifully for us for nine nine years so good Tiffany what about y'all I know that was not the same path at all right but honestly there are some things that are common with our two paths um the first thing is I did not see us ever homeschooling it's not something that was ever on my radar um but my child actually requested to be homeschooled she was four years old um and uh we I was taking her to a preschool one day her preschool program and um you know we were talking back and forth and she specifically started talking to me about how much she enjoyed working with me at home on the day she was home more than you know being in her preschool program so it was actually at her request that we started to um look into the process of homeschooling and at the time we now are based in Texas but at the time we were living in Pennsylvania so um you know they're totally different uh requirements and things from state to state so in Pennsylvania things were very much different um and so we started doing a lot of research and you know my husband is the chiller than chill one in our household so when I you know talk to him about it he said well if you feel like you think that's what we want to do let's try it and you know Sydney and I hit the ground running I started her with kindergarten at age four um and it was probably right before we started when we transitioned to Texas which is I would say one of if not the easiest state to homeschool in um so it all kind of worked out there and but at that point in time we didn't know all the other things that were coming that make homeschooling the best choice for us today um it was just a request that she had so I like to say that she knew something in her heart like she knew what she wanted and what was coming um and knew that she needed to make uh she how she wanted things to go she's very clear as a child very determined when she has a goal that's it that's where she's going that's what she's doing so I you know so I knew you know right away that you know she had thought through it even at four and I was like this is something that we really need to look at so for us that's kind of how we moved into it and how it sort of morphed for us is we I started more with customizing her lessons and things so I had I was doing everything for her totally custom um and as we've transitioned it's become less custom and more of a um combination of like pre-done curriculum and some customized pieces but it all seen it all really works out well for us and especially now with her with travel um with touring and all that um it really you know it is the best choice with making sure that um I don't sacrifice the the quality of her education while she's pursuing her dreams now Sydney is an extraordinarily pre-possessed child she knows exactly who she is and who she wants to be that said there's a lot of overlap between ADHD autism and giftedness and it's that gifted part that is really difficult to encourage in public school spaces right now and Jack 2 is an incredibly smart kid who knows what he wants like these things are foundational for how we build and structure our curriculums and our programs for these kids and I think this is the part where people are deeply deeply concerned if they don't have an education degree what does it look like to customize a curriculum if you don't know how to I mean math man I don't like doing math now I certainly don't like teaching math so there's all of these little things that you have to be aware of as you build out education and it's way easier than people think it is so Erica I know you mostly unschooled we did like I would say it was like like a more laid back like secular homeschooling so definitely there was definitely like curricula and we had things like that so it wasn't totally at his discretion but it was also like we it you know it wasn't from like ten to three every day that we'd be at the kitchen table like doing rigorous school work or anything either

yeah I think that's a big part for us we do not I mean there are theoretically ours sometimes we make them sometimes I come down in the mornings and catch the 11 year old watching history videos and so I'm like okay well we started a little bit early today and we'll get some of the other things later maybe maybe not what does it look like Tiffany to homeschool on the road so it's a little bit different than what we would do at home because on the road they do have standard hours so depending on what city we're in and what the state requirements are for child performers there's a certain number of hours they have to have every week and those hours have to be completed at a certain time during the day for instance right now we're in California so all schooling has to be done by 4 pm um so they have a set you know typically a two or three to four hour time block that they're working in and um so it's a little bit different because you know Sydney's at home is a little bit more used to like maybe she's in PJs while she's hanging out on the couch and working and instead um on the road they're going to a specific place um depending on the state we're in uh maybe going into the a specific uh room in the theater or have a specific place where they've designated is the school room and they're in there with the tutor and she's working um so right now what works best for us is having online based curriculum so that she is able to see what she needs to get done she can boom boom boom go through everything you know she's she's corresponding with me if she has questions the tutors there if she has questions as well and she's able to get things done in a timely manner also what I love is because we're homeschooling on the road depending on what her schedule looks like that week what her show schedule is that they have rehearsals if she has precious to do those types of things I can readjust her schedule so she's not stressing out going oh my gosh today I only have two hours to get schoolwork done and I have all this to do I can adjust her schedule and say Here's what you have to do you can definitely get this done in two hours or less or whatever and she doesn't have the stress of a set amount of schoolwork that has to get done that you have you know two or three other instructors that you have to talk to about what needs to happen so I love it because I'm able to really shape her life and work together so that she's not overwhelmed because you know she's 11 and she's doing she has a career right now but I want her to love it while she's doing it and this helps her to enjoy herself and you know just be able to experience all the pieces without like that stress piece I try to keep the stress down as much as possible because we're on a kind of a rigid schedule more than what she would be if we were home and I think the ability to cultivate that love of learning is absolutely key so in addition to her theater performance schedule uh Sydney wrote a book two books now it's two books now so she's had really the ability to say this is what I want to do this is what I want to learn how do you structure in her self-guided learning with the online curriculum it's really organic she comes to me and she'll say Mommy I have an idea and and I'll say okay what's the idea and we sit down we literally have uh creative meetings um you know like I consider my two rich I consider myself like her creative director so she comes to me with an idea and we sit down we flesh it out it's whatever she wants to do um and I take her ideas very seriously that's the first thing for me whatever she brings to me I take it super seriously it's never just kind of like flighty because I know if she's bringing it to me she's sat down she's thought about it and she has her own notes that she's bringing um so we'll sit down and we'll flesh out and then we'll figure out how to plug it in within her day so we'll look at her schedule and say okay this week you have this is your show schedule this week this is your school schedule when do we think we want to plug this in do you you know you can put this in on the back end of school or we can on your break time on your date she has Mondays off right now so sometimes Mondays are the day that will she'll sit and work through some of her ideas and things like for instance her second book she published we actually launched that one while we were on the road um and we finished it off on the road and she worked we worked on Mondays to get things the way she wanted it to before she put it out but um so yeah it's very organic it's she's once she comes to me with something or she has an idea or sometimes I have an idea and I go hey Sid I thought about this or that and we'll sit down and look at it like for instance um this month is Black History Month so um when she was uh with the Lion King in 2021 to 2022 um one of the cast members had them doing like a cool Black History Month activity that during the month and she wanted to extend that while she was here on the road but she wanted to share it so right now she's doing like little mini Black History Month videos with like people who Inspire her and stuff like that so we're plugging those things in so it's that kind of thing she's very much self-directed and very self-motivated so I don't really have to say hey what about this what about she's always coming to me with ideas and thoughts and things and it's really what I feel is my job to just help her figure out how to make it happen how to you know bring it to fruition that's really the job you know I'm the one that puts the details in she's the 30 000 feet person I'm the one on the ground that figures out how to make it happen I really like that and I like that there's it it allows her to dictate what she wants I think the same is true for Jack he decided to go to this school it was sports related right uh no for this one it was just um like really getting to uh like start off because since he's actually earning like college credits right now to like get a jump on the rest of it um and also like because we had just moved States and stuff so he didn't he didn't know anyone like locally so to just kind of I mean then code would happen right so it didn't really quite pan out how we hoped anyways but still like it just the the ability to kind of you know not be just at home with Mom and Dad and like be out and be like in a different space and especially during those transitional years between like the early teen years and the later teen years where you're getting ready to to leave anyways um but even like everything you were saying Tiffany I feel like is such a good example of uh that idea of like that everything gets to be included as part of the education like I think that we're so conditioned to look at school as like this certain set of things and so whenever people have asked me questions about it like what do you do I'm like well like life is included like if you're helping me cook in the kitchen or whatever like that counts like that is included and I think we forget how like prior to your point about like the love of learning like how a lot of learning really like we're applying that in life all the time we just don't maybe recognize it because it's not like we're not turning it in for homework so yeah our family uses the life of Fred math books which they both know of because it's really structurally designed to be it's it's it's it's a written story and Fred guides you through mathematical Concepts while also talking about physics and cooking and geography there are very few problems much more higher level Concepts my kids even the 21 year old will still pull these books off of the shelf and just read them because when you allow everything to be integrated it really makes it fun for them it allows them to dig in and process the information on the level that they're interested in processing it so obviously Sydney has a career already whether she stays an actor writer rock star forever is remains to be seen at 11 she's got some time Eric what does Jack want to be when he grows up and how has his education allowed him to lead the way there yes so interestingly so right now we are in the the window of time where within the next few months like we'll know where he's going to college next year um and he is most likely at this point going for something in the realm of like computer engineering something in that in that zone um but he also really likes to make digital music and what's interesting is that he has pretty much for the most part taught himself the like the digital music element right which then like you know as you kind of go back in hindsight it's like there were these other interests that he had like whether it was like hacking his Nintendo Wii or like you know learning to code or different things like that where yes there are programs and things that we at different times have enrolled him in or taken him to or whatever um but also a lot of it is just like self-taught he'll just pull up a YouTube video or something and he'll just figure it out and so I think for him that really instilled that idea of like if there's something I'm curious about I can just go learn it I don't need to go to a classroom to learn it I don't need to get a certificate that says I know it you know it's just really about getting curious and experimenting and seeing and how like one thing has led to another so in his essays for applying to college um a lot of what he said that he wants to do is like he's curious about digital music and music production and things like that um and it's it's really cool to be able to see how all of those components before like led him to this place of feeling like he could potentially be qualified to to do it right that there's not like an obstacle in the way there um that it's really just a matter of like continuing to to learn it and be involved with it and that there doesn't have to be like a set standard path that it's just like okay well like I like computers and I like technology and I also like music so like how can I bring those two things together moving forward and I will say as a caveat like we are very honest as parents with him about like the limitation like the very real limitations of like the landscape of modern work and the economy like it's not 1998 anymore when I was graduating high school and it was like go to college and major in anything because it won't matter it's like no like we have real conversations about like you will need health care you will need you know like which I think is good like I I we really like it I I'll say I read a statistic not that long ago that 85 of 11 year olds wish to be a YouTube star that's what they want to be when they grow up is a YouTube star and I think it's really telling so there's two 11 year olds here one of them has like eclipsed YouTube Star right Sydney regardless of what that child decides to do with her live we'll never have to fall back to YouTube star or influencer right there's always going to be something for her to do my 11 year old has been offered to assist on my YouTube channel many many times you want to learn how to be on YouTube here come here I got work for you which was more than enough for him to decide oh actually I don't want to be a YouTube star at all I'd actually rather be a game developer which is a legitimate path that we can see forward for him where we can okay you need to learn how to code you need to be able to do these things structurally he's already learning how to do those things himself in the ways that he understands I think that what's key is that our children have been presented those options have been presented social media or influencer status here this is what it looks like want to give it a try go ahead Sydney is on Broadway because she went to Disneyland and danced and God knows was it Disney World is Disney World Disney World it was Disney World she did a little dance it went viral and then people started paying attention to her now for most people that yields the uh Double Rainbow Guy effect right it's do you all remember the double rainbow YouTube video is so funny but nothing came of that because he didn't have like an actual Pathway to develop those contacts and leads meanwhile Sydney and absolutely through Tiffany's ability to Stage manage has been able to develop a career path based on a viral video because these are the things that you get to do when you are homeschooling what does it look like for y'all to cultivate that interest how do you specifically spark those moments where your child says to you I have an idea how do I make this happen Tiffany go ahead well for Sydney and I um first of all she's like my you know how people say your kids like your little broke best friend she's she's not broke but she's my best friend um so we um we really do she's we've always talked to her even before she could form words you know um I've we've instilled in her that she's a part of the conversation and what she has to say is important so even when she was making sounds and they weren't real words yet you know we were talking to her like we could actually understand everything and then when she um at like five six months old I started teaching her baby sign language so that she could communicate with me um because I didn't want her to be you know not feeling like she couldn't couldn't communicate even before she had the words and so we've always instilled in her that what she has to say is important what your thought what you're thinking what you're feeling all the things what is inside of you is important and that it wouldn't be there if it didn't need to be expressed so express it to you know express it to us my husband and I express it to us so that we can you know if it's an idea we can figure out how to make it happen if it's um if it's a fear or a worry or whatever we can talk through it so she's only ever known that what I have to say is important not in a way that I'm better than anyone else but just that my my voice my thoughts my feelings are important and I can share them and it's a safe space for me to do so um so she she's only ever known that um whatever is going on that I'm not going to be really killed it's not like what kind of silly idea is that but we're gonna sit down and you know talk through it and come up with ideas and things and so I think that's allowed her to be more creative because she's not afraid to come up with those big Ideas um for instance um her deciding making the decision that she wanted to be on Broadway she was actually watching The Lion King we took her to see The Lion King she sat there at five years old she saw young Nala come out on the stage she looked at me and she said mommy is that a little girl and I said yes and she goes I can do that she was five so I said oh okay you know and then we talk about it and I was like okay so then we need to do theater classes you've got to do this you gotta do that and she was like that's what we're gonna do and every step she took was towards that goal but it started with her feeling confident enough to speak it and then knowing she had the support to to um to make it happen um and I think there's something very powerful about speaking out what it is that you really want and then knowing that there's a way to create a path to get to it but that you're not on that road by yourself and she's never felt alone on that road she always knows she's got me on one side her dad on the other and the you know my my parents her other grandparents everybody behind her pushing her forward so even the viral moment that happened it was a spontaneous moment but she was ready because she didn't fit she didn't feel like I can't do this you know she knew she could do it because that's all she's ever known is that I have the support and as long as my support system is rocking with me I can do whatever I want to do um and I think that's what is key for us is what that's what I think Sparks it for her is that she knows no matter what it is I come up with they're gonna They're Gonna Roll with me we're gonna figure it out and it's gonna get done um however it comes to fruition is how it comes fruition but it's not going to fall by the wayside I'm not gonna feel silly for saying it I'm not gonna feel like you know I should have kept my mouth shut it's never gonna that's not the road she's ever going to go down and I think it's important for us as parents to learn your learn what sparks your kid and figure out how to you know really supports the best way to support them in that her way is she likes to talk through things and she likes to kind of Bounce her ideas and then you can you add little pieces to it and then figure it out that's her way and so and I've learned that over the years and so it really helps her to Blossom in that way and that's you know and it's fun for me too she helps me to stay you know like to to spark my own creativity you know I found myself thinking of different things just from working with her so it's fun for both of us absolutely Erica yeah I oh my gosh she sounds like such an amazing human like [ __ ] really cool so cool um yeah I think uh to that same end like when I vividly remember once I mean this was years ago probably I gosh Jack was probably like maybe around 12 or something and he was like tinkering in the kitchen he had his Wii he had like his computer like or his iPad he was like I was like what are you doing like what is it happening on the kitchen island here like what is what's going on and he was like oh I'm like I'm trying to like hack my Wii and I was like what like how like it's like what are you explain this to me I don't you know um and so he he did and like and and also like Nintendo Corporation please don't please don't come for me and my child uh caveat but like so he he was like yeah you know I I know from like watching other people whatever you can do it and then you can download the old like NES games onto it and all of this stuff and like play that whatever and I was like oh okay cool and he was like yeah so I have to do this I have to do this and he had to get like a this I don't know like his game boys like I I literally I could not even tell you how the kid did it but he was just he like made it happen and I was just like cool like I can't I can't help you because I literally don't know what you're doing but if you like if you need something like a screwdriver or whatever that like you don't know where it is like you can come to me or dad and like we'll help you do that but like this project is on you like it's all it's all on you and um and he did it like he he figured it out the whole thing like he got it to work and then he was really excited and he was like yeah see like I and then I got this game and like it's really cool him trying to explain it to me because half the time I am literally just like I don't I don't even know I have no idea I have no I literally have no idea and so I think in that realm like uh it's it's cool because kind of in the way like I was thinking as you were talking about Sydney being like seeing it and being like Oh I could do that and then like I'm gonna I'm gonna do it right um I feel like it's again it's that thing like when you're I feel like when you're not in environments where people are automatically like where you say oh I I could do that and then people shut you down you don't know that there's like a possibility of failure you're just like it might be hard I might struggle but like I will be able to do it because I know it can be done um and I think that that was like the case was just he just was like I know it can be done so I'm gonna figure out figure it out and there were moments where he was very much like struggling and frustrated and angry and whatever but he like he just stayed in the struggle and then he got it he got it to work and I think that is such an important life lesson and then now that he's learning like digital music it's the same thing like he's having to look up tutorials he's having to like be inspired by other creators and artists and musicians you know to to do it because like we we cannot do it for him like his dad has saw he has like some musical knowledge and can kind of guide him but it's way more like you know I I played a band in Orchestra kind of knowledge not like digital music stuff like that and so it's really cool to to just be like yeah you you do you like do your thing we're here to support you we're here if you like need something we bought him a piano for uh for his birthday last fall at electronic piano he was really excited about that like so we'll we'll help fund things but like at the end of the day like it's on it's on him to do what what needs to be done and I think there's real opportunities here I know what I don't know I know it he wants to know and therefore I can help him find other people to teach him those things I can absolutely put my kids in the classes that they require the environments that they require in order to cultivate the skills that they want to learn

and I think that the earlier you start that obviously Sydney how old was she when she started acting classes five uh yes she was but five years old and very clearly knew that that was the thing that she wanted to do that was the path that she wanted to take and so you have the ability to really cultivate who they are as people and that feels like more than anything else that we have to give them in a homeschooling Arena my kids who are Autistic or dyslexic or ADHD all of them know what their abilities are there's not uncertainty I don't feel like my kids have ever really struggled with I'm not good enough to do that it's I don't know how to do it yet I don't know what will make this work it's never been I'm not good enough to do that thing and I think that that's a real gift because they're gonna go out into the world confident in their abilities even as very young adults because they've been fully supported their entire lives in this kind of structure so let's talk about when it's hard

can you give me an example of when it has been hard and when you have thought God I wish they were in public school

Tiffany go ahead um I don't think I've ever felt all the way to I wish she was in public school but the hardest was for me when we first started um was because I had the only reference I had was public school so the way I started you know with her with her schedule I mean it was regimented we're getting up at 8 A.M you're going to have breakfast at 8 30. we're going to get dressed then we're going to start lessons and she was miserable you know when we started and like I said she's always known her her words are important so she'd let me know I am miserable this is not working for me and I felt terrible because I was like I'm supposed to be able to do this you know saying I'm supposed to be able to figure this out and my kid is dreading learning with me right now because I have you know the environments that what she needs and so that was for me the hardest was when we first got started because I hadn't but I realized I hadn't actually taken the time to learn how she learned so I was like oh and once I figured it out and it became so much easier I learned like she's kinesthetic so it's like yeah we can't just sit here and I'm talking at you and there's nothing for you to do no you're not going to be able to just sit at this table you know we're good you're going to need a variety of different things that are happening um and for me so for me that was the hardest was just at the very beginning once I once I really tapped into how she learned and then I stopped trying to control her learning process that's when it became so much easier for us to flow and you could really figure out what was needed to be there and what didn't and how things needed to be but I think it was my type a relaxing my type A a little bit and realizing that she needed to run she needed to you know conduct this train you know this was her learning process and she needed to conduct it it was my job to put it together but um for her to lead us where we need to go embracing the failure is definitely a big part of this it's it's an experiment in learning and some of those experiments will not work and it's easy to give up and go I can't do this and there's always a Way Forward Erica yeah I think to that to that point as well because I'm also very type A and like you know even with like the way that my ADHD manifests which I know is really common amongst women is like I always did really well like I could learn quickly I could produce quality work like I was just on it um and so there were a lot of moments where Jack would be slower to learn things like especially in math and what would happen is I would start to get this Panic of like I'm gonna fail him we're gonna fail him he's not gonna know this he's gonna get into the world he's gonna struggle it's gonna be all our you know the whole the whole thing so I would be like spiraling about it but then it would bubble over into frustration and like uh uh rather than being like okay well like let's just like slow down or let me chill out and we'll you know we'll figure this out together um it was it was that like fear that comes out as like misdirected anger which I look back now and I'm like how silly because when he went into this this program which I will say for like as homeschoolers get older they tend to have like because they're so used to Independence like having them go even to take like one college class at a time at a community college is so great because like they're used to that independent level of like learning and working um so I was really nervous I was like oh he's gonna have to take like real deal math and is like now it's it's all gonna come to light that I have done a terrible job but lo and behold like he's really good at math like he was taking math classes that like I could not take like even you know at his age or anything like uh that I would have really struggled with and like he's actually fantastic at math so all of my fears were really unfounded and also I can recognize that like it came from this place of how I was enculturated that was like you gotta do really well you gotta you know school is super important like and all of that and so now we're a lot more chill like to the extent where he had to take an intro to writing class um in his first year in the program and it was a very intensive class and he was taking it very seriously to the point where like me and his dad actually were like stop doing work like just actually stop go play video games like legitimately like you were stressing yourself out um which is totally the opposite but we knew we're like in the grand scheme of things like we can see now what actually matters and what really doesn't and like it's not actually worth stressing yourself out we're not yelling at him anymore uh out of like you know you got to keep up you gotta get it done whatever but I just I think that that was like my biggest lesson was really that like they will get it in their own time and like and even though I knew it and even though we were very laid back home schoolers it's like it is kind of like Tiffany like you were saying like when you are only used to things being one way it's hard to re-learn a different way and then like the last thing I will say because we are at the very end of it is that like I am surprised at how from the beginning when I was so excited for him to go to school and have my time back and all of that now at the end I'm like oh I'm really sad that he'll be like moving out like we have spent so much good quality time together that I'm deeply deeply grateful for that experience that now I'm like I literally can't believe it's it's like done it's it flew by and I'm like oh I should have savored those years more and and but I still feel really grateful that I got so much more time with my kid than a lot of folks do and I think that it's that life and learning balance right what homeschooling gives us is the ability to truly experience life with our children to teach them a lifelong love of learning and to teach them how to learn right because your math class is key he might have struggled with it at home but what you taught him was how to acquire the information and put it together in his head in a way that makes sense and he has since gone out into the world and applied that skill Sydney wanted to act so we gave her acting classes and now she's out in the world applying those skills and remarkably so I think that more than anything else having my kids at home and being able to spend that quality time has allowed us to create a life that I love but to help them understand how to build that for themselves and more than anything else that's what we're after we want our kids to go out into the world and be happy that's it that's it and homeschooling has I think for us for them enabled us to be able to structurally functionally do that and it doesn't have to be hard that's again that is the one thing I want you to walk away from here it does not have to be hard will it be challenging yes will you have moments where you're like I can't do this anymore yes does it have to be hard it does not so Erica if there's one thing you could leave us with what would it be uh I would say this I would say you will never know until you try and if you try it and you give it a fair shot and you realize it's not the right thing for you and your family you can always like your your kid can just go back to school it's fine I I've also known plenty of people who at various points in the journey their kids went back to more Traditional School environment and it was fine like it it ended up being fine every single time and so making the decision Now does not mean that you are locked into it for life because even the program that my kid is in now like had we not moved to where we live now it wouldn't have been an option right so it wasn't even in the plan until it came up on our radar and we're like let's give it a shot and if it doesn't work we'll just do a new plan it's it's going to be okay either way

Tiffany so I would say two things one um comparisons is the thief of Joy so don't try to compare your home school to anybody else's it needs to be what your what needs to be for your family so and if it doesn't look like someone else's that's fine it looks like what it needs to look like for you and to be okay with change over time because as your child grows and as your family changes their needs in their learning environment is going to will also change and it's not a bad thing to have to adjust and change um but just be aware that um that change is coming and that you should embrace it along the way y'all thank you so much for coming today thank you for being here thank you for making time in your very busy lives and schedules to have this conversation I will be leaving links to Erica's website and Tiffany's website in the comments I will also link you to Sydney's uh Instagram page that's the best place to see what she is up to thank you for being here thank you for watching the neurodiversity media Network y'all and we will be back again in two weeks I am openly soliciting feedback for these conversations so if you have ideas for panel discussions please reach out and let me know Say Hey I want to talk about this please by all means hit me up for it we will have a chat again thank you all for being here and you have an amazing day