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Voices of Neurodiversity

The Crone Herself

0:00:03

Hello, and welcome, everyone. I am Briar Harvey. This is the neurodiversity media network. And today, we are here with the fabulous Corina Black Heart. The crown herself. Alright.

0:00:21

So Corina and I met in the catalyst. Like, probably should have asked Maurice if she wanted to sponsor this because this episode is brought to you by the catalyst, you can find my affiliate link at briar harvey dot com slash catalyst. Truly, I enjoyed getting to know you in this space. Mhmm. And I love your work. So tell us a little bit about yourself and What brings you here? Well, that's an open ended question. So I'm Corina Blackheart. Thanks for having me on Briar. I'm super excited to be here.

0:01:03

I love what you're doing with the neuro neurodiversity media network. I try to watch your podcast. Like, whenever they come up, I'm like, oh, Breyers. What what are they talking about today? And like you said, we know each other from the catalyst, create the rules of business catalyst. My my work these days is called the kron herself. You can find me at the kron herself dot com.

0:01:33

And what I'm doing is bringing in sort of embodying and moving through me, right, and working with the energy that's available in the world what I'm calling big prone energy, which is, you know, sort of sort of a nod to big dick energy. Right? But re you know, claiming that, claiming it fully and saying, oh, no. There's an alternative to that. Right? So big prone energy is really about being your whole self unapologetic. Unmitigated. Un I wanna say without shrinking, without withdrawing, without holding back, just being who we really, really, really are I find that having turned fifty eight this year Something shifted for me. Right? I I knew it was coming because I was in the middle of my second Saturn return if your audience doesn't know what a Saturn return is, it's a Asterisk dot y'all.

0:02:50

It happens twenty seven, you know, from when you're twenty seven to twenty nine ish, And it really marks the beginning of real adulthood. Right? That isn't to say that you're not an adult before that, but something shifts and we leave our childhood past and step into something new. It's a hard time. But it happens again. Right? So we always hear about that one that happens when you're in your late twenties. People rarely talk about that happens again. In another twenty seven years. Some of you might get a third Saturn return. Might get a third one. You know, hopefully, we're healthy for that and we can teach about that when it happens. Right? So, you know, fifty four to fifty eight years old.

0:03:40

And in traditional cultures, they would usually, you know, have a ceremony for women becoming elders at around that same time surprisingly. So shock shocking. Right? That they knew these things. And we're having to relearn all of this. Right? All of these ceremonies and rite of passage that we just don't have in our culture. So I was very excited to see what would happen. Right? Because my first Saturday turn was so impactful. Right? And, you know, the you're sort of postmenopausal maybe? By this age. Your in your you have your second Saturn return.

0:04:29

And something happens in the lead up to this time of life. So it, you know, first of all, there's menopause. Right? That is different for every woman. Right? There's no panacea, there's no singular way to deal with it or treat it medically. Right? We all have to make our own decisions about that. But honestly, we just don't have enough women talking about what it was like for us. Not at all. Because these are, like, private things. Right? My mom, in her generation, she was born in the nineteen twenties, but she always called it the change. Right? I don't remember. Yep. The change of life or the big change. Right? And certainly so there's something physiological or no happening in the body that's major, as major as what happens when we are in our pre adolescent and adolescent years in our as we go through puberty, and we're trying to figure out what all these hormones are. Right? And this is sort of the other end of that where your hormones are wacky. Right? We don't have enough. You have too much. You're having hot flashes. You're having mood swings.

0:05:53

Here's the thing that I wanna tell women, though, is that it ends. Thank God. Because let me tell you, at the starting of premenopause right now with hot flashes. And I'm like, I don't know how long I'm gonna make it through this. I do not know how I'm gonna do years and years of this. Please let me go get that HRT. Right now, thank you very much. Yeah.

0:06:18

I I never did hormone replacement therapy. I did for a little while, I guess maybe I did. Something I was rubbing on my skin. It didn't seem to help me. It didn't help me. I I was still having hot flashes. I was still out of my mind. Anyway, it ends. It comes to an end. I still have a hot flash once in a while. I'm like, poof, like, But it's not like it's not as intense as it used to be and and it's not, like, right on top of each other. Like, it really catches me by surprise. Eyes when I have one.

0:06:58

But what I want to say is like that hormonal fluctuation that messes with our sleep our mood, our emotional state, our tolerance for anything that is not right in our life. Right? That evens out. So I wanna, like, hold out that hope. Like, hang in there. Right? So I've come through it. Right? And I'm in this new phase. I've come through menopause. I've My kids are grown. My hormones are even. Less. Or hormones. Are even. Right? Like, we don't know what that's like because the last time they were reliably even, we were children. Right? Wow. Yes. All of the sudden, frustration we are different from week to week to week to week to week. Right? It's not just every twenty eight days you know, that we're bleeding and we're having that happen. But there's I'm exhausted. I'm horny. I wanna kill everyone. I'm bleeding. Right. Oh, I Actually, that's a pretty good descriptor of the changes your body goes through cyclically as you release progesterone before ovulation and then it dips and your estrogen surges into administration.

0:08:45

To not talk about this shit at all. It's all very romanally cyclical. And it's even worse if you are neurodivergent or in other ways neurologically different because those hormones are more there are more of them they are deeply exaggerated, and they affect your brain in different ways than the neurotypical brain. Yeah. So what I want what I want you to really hear again is, like, that stops. I I I truly can't even imagine. I it's hard for me to even recognize like, to be like, wait a minute. I'm the same. I'm the same today as I was last week, and I can rely that next week, I will be the same again. In the week after that, I'll still be the same. That I will not be that I'm not on this wild hormonal roller coaster ride where stuff is just happening. That's so internal.

0:10:00

And many many women who many people who bleed, we don't even recognize how different we are from week to week to week to week. Right? We just think I'm a mess, and it's not if you track it, it is cyclical, and you can start to know this is what I can expect this week. This is what I can expect this week. This is what I can expect that week. And to honor those cycles. Right?

0:10:30

But there there is this point we're we're not we're not undergoing that anymore. And we become hormonally, right, which means emotionally, which means physically, physiologically, mentally, spiritually. On all of these levels, we become reliable to ourselves? So I wanna talk about the ways in which we culturally demonize this age and stage of womanhood -- Yeah. -- because you would think that when women are now, they're most emotionally stable, we would lean into and embrace here is this I hesitate to use the word try because I dislike the associations But here is this band of women. Corina calls them a conspiracy. I know.

0:11:38

Harrison's I forgot who said it, but someone said one year away. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. No. Go ahead. To give you. Someone's I I don't remember who said it, but it's a quote that I often see go by in social media where it says one day, an army of old women are going to take over the world. And I'm like, we're here. We're here. Like, Gen X, I'm, like, the earliest. Right? I'm, like, days after you know, I'm the one of the first that you get to that gets to call ourselves Gen X. And we're here, and it's coming because we are a different generation than the boomers were.

0:12:21

And unwilling to stay silent about the ways in which women of this age are culturally diminished and demonized. Yeah. Let's talk about that because I really feel like there's something here when It's it's the difference. Do you remember after the Super Bowl when Shakira and JLo? Did their whole thing, all of those memes floating around about the golden girls versus JLo and Shakira. Yeah. And I was like, this is because the golden girls are marbles are truly iconic. Yeah. Iconic. Yep. It's not about how they look. It's about the ways in which we would prefer to continue to subject older women to the male gaze and diminish their ability to be whole people, whole ass fucking people -- Yes. -- with real agency because it takes some women till that second Saturn return. To discover that they have agency. Yes. Yeah.

0:13:48

And we we put, you know, we employ ageism against ourselves. Right? So many women fear losing our beauty, our youth. So many women hate to look in the mirror, when they're our age? I have to tell you, I spent about five years where I didn't, like, let people take pictures of me. There's no way you would have gotten me on a video camera. A year ago. Right? Something shifted. And I'm like, this is what I this is who I am. This is what I look like. Like, I'm I saw a little video or a meme this morning where the woman was it's on my Facebook feed.

0:14:34

And she said, I'm fifty years old. She said, why do I want to look like I'm twenty five? Agreed. You know? I wanna look like my age. Whatever that means. Right? And it and it looks different on different people just like youth does. Right?

0:14:52

But this misogyny, or hate, coupled with the ageism, is big. Right? And the only way that I know to get over it is just to be like, I own I own me. And this is why there are such negative stereotypes about old women. Because this happens to us all Right? When we're in we're four our forties, sometime in our forties and early fifties, women get a case of the big fuckets. Right? Excuse me. My lungs will say that. I'm like, oh, yes. She were absolutely absolutely allowed to say that in any space. Right.

0:15:36

So the whole thing of, like, I have no more fucks to give. You're getting you know, you Like, that was my last fuck. Right? There I mean, it's a warning. Right? It's a warning of what's to come because that continues. Right? Maybe the edge of it, the the sense of feeling like, oh, look how badass I'm look at how badass I'm becoming like, I don't have any fucks to give. Right? And I'm gonna even say that out loud. But it just becomes the norm. Like, I don't care. If I don't care. I mean, I care about myself. And there are things that I certainly care about. Right? It's not that we have no more fucks to give. I think it's that we know what we really do care about and where we are willing to extend the life force that we have left. The time and energy and effort and attention that that we have you know, and we have less of it. Right?

0:16:52

When I hit fifty, I realized, like, my mom died when she was seventy eight. Right? And I and I was like, wait a minute. They told me this was midlife. And again, it's another lie. Right? Like, we don't live to be a hundred most of us. And I thought, oh, this is, like, two thirds. And I thought, I better start living.

0:17:19

Nowhere do I see that with more clarity than the divorce rates of women in their fifties. Whether that's because the children have left Yeah. Or because she's come home to herself, or he's having a midlife crisis and be in Oahu. Correct. Right. And she's like, I'm I'm not done. I'm all done. Yeah. But yes.

0:17:48

And you know, it's worth mentioning that, you know, I work with women who are like, what am I gonna do about this marriage? What am I gonna do about this marriage? And and the answer is really, like, we can complicate it. Right? But it's like either he's gonna come along and grow up at this age in his life. And you're gonna wait, and you may still be waiting in twenty more years. Or you're gonna leave. Right? And we can we can go down all the little side roads and pathways trying to avoid that decision, but that's really the decision. You know?

0:18:44

And a lot of women decide, like, I've got a third of my life left. I wanna go live I wanna go be happy. I wanna find out what it's like to not have to tell him to pick up his underwear every day. I wanna take up space and I do not wish to shrink anymore in my own home and life and world, and there's real power in that. It's an incredibly powerful time And I think it's important for me to say to that when I talk about big prone energy, right? I'm a big force. Right? I have big thoughts. I have a lot of energy. I've spent my whole life doing personal work and being a teacher. So I have all of that. Right? I'm not telling people to be like me. Okay? I'm asking women, who are you?

0:19:46

What is it that you've always wanted to do and you put it off because you were raising children, you were running the household, You were coddling your husband, you were paying the bills, you were going to work, and and and and and and all the rules that we take. Maybe you always wanted to go get your bachelor's degree. Maybe you always wanted to write poetry. Or paint or garden or raise chickens or maybe you wanted it to do all of those things. Right? This is a time in our life where we say, I'm doing it. Maybe you wanted to travel. Right? Maybe you always wanted to sing on a stage. Right? Whatever this energy is, this big prone energy. Right? I don't want people to mistake that.

0:20:40

I'm telling everyone, like, you gotta be out there and vocal and you have to be, you know, talking about the patriarchy, That's my job. Right? That's what I do. That's what we're here for doing doing this work being loud. That's not for everybody, and that's definitely not what we're asking. We're asking how can you be loud in your own life? Right. And loud in your own life maybe, I'm learning to make soup.

0:21:11

I'm learning to cook Indian food. I'm learning to bake little tarts. I mean, I did all of these things during pandemic. Right? Like, I look back at my memories that come up on my phone, And I'm like, I am never ever making teeny tiny lemon tarts ever again. It's it's never It was a wild time.

0:21:31

Right? Such a wild time. I'm like, who was that? Like, so domesticated. Right? And yet it was a part of me that I never had had time to explore before. Right? And now I think about, like, spending the day, stirring lemon curd, and I'm, like, that's not gonna happen. You know? We want to be our own best ally. Right? Being a prone is fun. Right? Because we can rely again, because we can rely on ourselves. Because we've had we have a lifetime of experience. And I think all we need is permission Right? Sometimes we can give ourselves permission. Sometimes we need someone else to hold this accountable and give us permission. That's one of the things that I do as the corona herself.

0:22:32

I also wanna be sure to say that this energy that I'm talking about doesn't belong solely to chronological probes. Right? That we have access to this all the time. Right? And I often say that children are very close to the energy that we run. And they may even run it clearer. Right? I wanna say poorer than we do because they haven't taken on all of the cultural conditions. Thing. Right? All of the what I call the the good girl rulebook indoctrination. Right? They don't have that embedded in their selves. Yep. But if you think about children and old women, we'll tell you the truth. When we look at the triple goddess archetype. Right? It's maiden mother, throne. Maiden is the cusp of womanhood. But that archetype does not actually include early childhood.

0:23:43

And there's a lot of development Again, especially when you are neurodivergent, your brain learns backwards. There's a lot of research about this, especially for autistic folks. What we learn at two and three is not the same as what neurotypical children are learning and processing at two and three. That is why -- Mhmm. -- it takes till our mid twenties to really fully round out that brain development and figure all these things out. So there is, I think, the ability to access that source. And we're closest to it at birth and that death. Right? Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I always wanna talk about that child because that's part of our development. Right?

0:24:44

It's just like when we talk about you know, you said the the the waxing, full, and waning moon. No one talks about the dark moon. No one talks. I'm not talking to her phone. Right? Like, what is happening in that space? Where the waning crescent and the waxing crescent, which is the girl. Right? And the old woman, I love the idea that they are sitting in that dark moon space. Together. Oh, I love that. Sharing the secrets of the universe. Right? One from being so close to have coming into being and one so close to the end. Right? And so in that space, that's the I'm gonna use, like, really gender, essentialist language here, so and I'm aware. Right? In that space, that dark moon space, that dark energy, that womb space, that tomb space, right, is where these two meet. And they share information and power and secrets and plans. Right? They make plans. But I I think that those two archetypes are much closer together.

0:26:15

We we tend to, like, always put things on a on a spectrum Right. The presence are on the end, but a circle has no Right. Right. So Big Crohn Energy is available to us no matter what age we are. It's energy. Right? Are you a can you be a crone when you're thirty? No. Can you run prone energy when you're thirty? Absolutely. Can you run it when you're twelve? Yes. Teenagers run it all the time.

0:26:52

Oh, I can distinctly remember spaces and times in my life. Where I have tapped into that and done my thing with no regard or thought of anyone else -- Mhmm. -- but what I needed in that moment and that's what it is. Yes. Yeah. Yes. This has hurt me that still wants to soften that. Right? That still wants to soften it and say it's not about disregard for others feelings or our impact on others. I think it's that our regard for ourselves and the impact on ourselves in a given situation is perhaps for the first time in our lives given equal weight. So what does it look like to have an army, a conspiracy of crohn's out in the world. I think it means women who have life experience and who care deeply about the world that we're living in. Right? Speaking up, standing up. And also being incredibly creative Right?

0:28:32

I just read an article. I think I shared it with you about research that they had done on the aging brain of women. You did, and I loved it. And they were and it was shocking. Right? They were shocked. I was shocked to read it that we are not in decline. That this time in our lives, our brains are the most active. We are at the most creative. We are better at solving problems than we have ever been in our lives. This is like scientific research. Right? That we rarely do because we rarely study men women biologically -- For for medical purposes, we especially don't study older women. So I shot y'all.

0:29:21

The research clearly indicates that post menopausal women use more of their brains than anyone else at any other time. Yes. A significant percentage more than anyone else at any other time. These are our access both sides of the brain. Right? That membrane that separates the left and the right brain, softens. Right, and becomes more permeable. And rather than that looking like brain damage, it looks like we can access both our creativity, our poetic and instinctual intuitive nature, at the same time that we can access our rational problem solving intellectual part of our brain. So This is this is why we're creating art. This is why we're make we're writing our first books. This is why we're trying to solve world problems.

0:30:23

So, you know, the conspiracy of Crohn's is I have a membership called the conspiracy of Chrome. So you can sign up and pay a monthly fee. Right now, it's I think ninety nine dollars for the whole year because we're just getting things set up. So after May first, it'll be I think fifteen dollars a month. And it's a place where we can come together. And talk to one another and know that you belong to this group of old women or women who are running this big crown energy Right? To to support us in being who we are.

0:31:10

Right? We still need affirmation Right? Like, no. That was okay. That was strong. That was powerful. You stood up for yourself. You're you know? Because we still do have that deep deep conditioning. Of being a good girl. Right? So the conspiracy is a place to be reminded continually that the good girl manual no longer applies. It doesn't apply to old women, and we need to do everything we can to teach younger women that they need to burn that manual. Right? We have so embodied the indoctrination of the culture that they don't even need to police us. Hope to do it ourselves. Sleep ourselves. Right? And I can only speak as a as a white woman. Right? But part of the indoctrination of young girls into how to be a good girl and and to follow the ex expectations is that we are also taught how to police other women. Oh, yes. Right? And correct them for their own good to be helpful. Right? So the conspiracy is a place to to break all of that down and to keep coming back to for affirmation and like I need a reality check. You know, I need a reality check. This is what happened, and I should have, could have, would have, might have, And to have to hear someone say, no, you're you're okay. You don't have to, should have, would have, could have, might have. You are. You're okay.

0:33:04

There's this idea that we are broken, that we need, you know, forever have to be working and work and working and working and working and working and working until we die. Right? To be good, We came in good. Yeah. There's some religious components here that are unfortunate, I think. And I would note that women of grown age are frequently researching and finding new spiritual avenues that actually I wanna say prioritize them, but honor them as they are in the space that they are in. Yeah. Yeah. We're we're tired of being told that we're bad. Right? Or that we might get punished if we're not good enough. You know?

0:34:23

So early you had earlier you had asked about the negative stereotypes about old women And even when I was just beginning, when when big crone energy and the crone herself were, like, nascent ideas. And I was talking with a friend of mine who's sixty, right, a few years older than me. And she said, I'm not a crone. Like, we're not crones. Like, you you that's an old woman. That's, like, when you're eighty. And I said, no. No. No. We're we are. We we really are. And there was a recoil. Right? She she recoiled from the word And one of the things that I'm trying to do in honor of Mary Daly, who's radical feminist theologian back in the eighties, second wave feminist.

0:35:27

And she developed a whole she wrote a whole book called the Webster's new intergalactic wizardry of the English language. She wrote an entire dictionary, sort of taking words apart. And looking at these concepts and these stereotypes and how we we insult. We have taken words of power that describe women and turn them into slurs and and into insults. And so one of Mary Daly's life goals was to reclaim that language, and it's it's one of mine as well.

0:36:05

I think that the name Crohn is a is a title of honor. Right? I wanna reclaim all of those words tag, nag, bag, bitty, bitch. You know, all there is there's so much I wanna I'll get to hack.

0:36:26

But the one that hits me the hardest is spinster. Because you know what a spinster was -- Yeah. -- it was a woman with independent income. Yes. It was a woman who did not require anyone else to provide for her because spinning was Lucretive. Incredibly lucrative. The ability to make thread, the ability to make cloth, the ability to make clothes And we have transformed that into such terrible nastiness But that woman would have been outside of patriarchal rule because that's -- Right. -- had her own financial means because she was probably a landholder as well. Right?

0:37:23

These are the women they burned in the which festivals was the women who fell outside of patriarchal rule because they were either critical of it. Right? Didn't know their place, wouldn't stay in their place, or have the means to not care what their place was. Or had reached a certain age where they no longer cared what their place was. Right? They became widows and they never remarried.

0:37:55

Right? What to do with a woman unmarried in that culture? Right? And make no mistake. The powers that be in the United States want that back. Right? They want that back.

0:38:13

It may look different, but the question of what to do with a single woman. Right? That they're they're if if you don't have any, you don't have to worry about it because they're under the rule of the patriarch of the house. Right? So what I'm doing here is spiritual. Political, personal. Right? And It's threatening. It's threatening to individual women. It's threatening to men. It's threatening to the patriarchy. And that and and that means that it's powerful. Right?

0:38:55

And it's so interesting to me having back in nineteen ninety two taken my first women's studies class. Right? When it was like a new thing, in the world to even have a women's studies department. Right? And I was too radical for the women's studies department because I wanted to talk about women's spirituality, and they weren't ready for those conversations. And so I had to go outside the department to have other kinds of professors help me to oversee my thesis work. And a professor said, well, do you want a degree from the women's studies department? And I said, well, you know, I'm like, I finished all the requirements and blah blah blah blah. She said you're so mad at them now. And so we set up my own self designed major and called it women's spirituality and power, which was a the intersection between gender, politics, and religion in women's lives across history. Right? And so here I am thirty five years later. Right? And that is all coming together again. Right? All coming through me again in this project, the Crohn herself. Yeah. A true hag and a true hag. Every sentence of the word. Let's talk about that one. I am personally a big fan of Sharon Blackie, Hagedood. Right. This is really shaping our conversation about age and age isn't as it relates to biological women. What do we need to take forward in regards to In regards to the conversation, you say that they weren't ready for women's spirituality in nineteen ninety too, and I believe you.

0:41:12

Mhmm. I agree with you. The goddess movement. And there was, like, the goddess movement who were feminists who were who were doing God's spirituality. Right? And, unfortunately, so many of those women did not continue to evolve in their ideas about gender. Right? That's really important because the dynamic movement is right. Like, as a woman, I want to be represent hit by gods that resemble me. Mhmm. And if I cling so tightly to the archetype of womanhood, then I miss so many people and experiences and things in my life. Mhmm. Because I am too structurally bound to a convention.

0:42:14

The idea is to change things. So what are we bringing forward with us? I would hope that we're bringing forward a sense of our own value Right? That that comes from within us. That is not that we are no longer looking outside of us for our value, for affirmation that we are worth something. That we are valuable because we are. Right? That's huge. That's liberation. Right? That is liberty embodied. Right? Just to say, I have value and worth simply because I'm here. Not because of something I earned, some that, you know, some valuation that was placed upon me because I'm beautiful or tall or thin or some valuation placed upon me because I know when to be quiet and shrink and acquiesce and be accommodating Right? I want us to be free. Right? I want us to be free. I want all of us women, men, all humans. I want us free.

0:43:51

From the internalized impressions that we are subjected to and that we internalize so deeply that we don't even know we're doing it. One of the ways that is both difficult, right, for people who work with me. And incredibly freeing is that I will I will stop people in the middle of sentence where they're saying, well, maybe I should have. Maybe I need to. And they're talking about fixing themselves or repairing themselves or or, you know, all of this work that we have to do on ourselves to be whole, to be worth to feel like we're worthy to feel like we're good. Right? And I ride people on their on how the way that they talk about themselves. Reinforces the external oppression and reinforces our lack of value for ourselves. So when you say where where do we want to go forward? We want to be free.

0:45:16

I believe that we humans are on the cusp or in the midst of a huge evolutionary transformation. The fact that we can even name that we are in the middle of a evolutionary transformation that we understand we are evolving and that we are consciously trying to evolve. So we don't destroy ourselves in the planet at the very least. Right? So that we don't destroy ourselves in the planet. But because we want to be better, we are trying to be more human and more humane. Right? So I believe that we are in this evolutionary process. But as long as we're chained by our internalized depressions and the external impressions, which, you know, they're clamping down. Right? Trying to get us back in the box where they want us. Right? As long as we're chained there, we can't get to the next place.

0:46:28

And I'm very invested even though I work with ancestral and ancient and archetypal forces. My my eyes are on the future. For my descendants, for our descendants, I don't want them to spend their lives thinking, and not only do I have my own work to do, I gotta go work on healing all of my ancestors, I want us to heal ourselves. Right? When we heal, we heal our ancestors. We don't have to make that a project. When we heal, when we become whole, when we remember who we are, they are healed. And so are our descendants. And if you really wanna get tiny whimey whobbly wobbly. Right? Our descendants are praying for our healing. Oh, really like that. So in the spirit of balance -- Mhmm. -- let's talk about the men's for a second. Okay.

0:47:38

One of my favorite pieces of commentary about international women's day is that it is when most people search for international, Wednesday. Google clearly indicates case that more people are researching international men's day in March than they are in October. Which are why we have way people's love after all. Right. Right. That's the and I think that women are so regularly expected to bring them along. Kicking and screaming. However, I do think that a lot of this healing requires partnership, requires them to be willing collaborators. So how do we reach that place of collaboration rather than whatever the fuck we got going on right now. I do see it in the younger generation some, and I and I see some of the younger generation going radically farther right than I can ever remember. That's correct. Right.

0:49:07

I it's not that I don't work with men. I have worked with men in other trainings, in other, you know, areas of expertise that I have. I don't know how to bring them along. I don't think it's our job to bring them along. Anymore than it's black people's job to bring white people along. Right? At some point, you know, it's just like the question that I I I opposed to, you know, my my sisters who are contemplating divorce, you know, in their late forties. At some point, they are either going to get it or they're not. Right? Either they're gonna realize, like, I'm miserable.

0:50:08

The messaging I got was limiting. Right? I don't wanna be this person who can't have feelings. Who has to, like, keep everything together for everyone around me and, like, be the strong backbone of there What does that mean? The greatest lie ever sold was that women are the more emotional sex because we've rebranded anger as not an emotion. Right. Right. Right? Yeah. Men are men are righteous. Women are hysterical. Yeah. So it's not my wheelhouse. Right?

0:51:02

I don't know how to help men because I don't have their life experience. I've been adjacent to them. Right? There have been times in my life where I've needed them. There have been many more times in my life when I just didn't. I've always been better off as a spinster.

0:51:29

I don't know from the inside what their messaging is. Or how that lives in their body. But I do know that about women because I am one. It's my lived experience. You know? Do I have academic research on this? Yes. Have I done years of spiritual practice on these things? Yes. But I also have lived experience that I have, you know, through abusive relationships and narcissistic husbands and raising children on my own, and I don't know how. To I'm not the one. I have a friend who who Yeah. I'm not the one skin. Yeah. Can't blame me for asking. Not really. I wish I had an answer, and I wish I even know I wish I even knew meal teachers that I trusted. Right. That was actually gonna be my next question.

0:52:33

So soiled there -- Yeah. -- not to keep the focus on their issues rather than Oftentimes what happens is men's groups get together and they they become in cells. Right? And watching this happen in the pagan community, left and right. And it's not just the heathens. Right? It's not just those it's left and right. No. And what's the silencing of women because men feel oppressed. And it's like men are oppressed, but in a in a totally different way. Right. Yeah. The patriarchy harms everyone. Yes. And and it's been It's been really interesting.

0:53:26

Being a member of the pagan community, especially these last three and a half years, Right? I have watched a beloved community, really kind of tear itself apart from the inside with conspiracy theories and far truly, far right propaganda where it has no place belonging. And I have felt very powerless to speak to any of this division because It's not our job. It's not our job. And if you've gone down that road, right, there's a mob mentality. Right? So if you speak against some of these figures, You're gonna be doxxed. Right? I know women who have been threatened with rape. Right? Who's who have said, I'm sending people to your house to rape you. This is in the pegging community. Right?

0:54:53

You know, there are men's groups who have taken the story of, you know, the creation of, you know, of the goddess. Right? And just sort of removed her. And I'm like, wow. It's like, It's the patriarchal takeover. All over again. All over again. And I can do nothing but walking around. Right. Yeah. And, again, like you.

0:55:22

And I'm someone who had a a a rather prominent voice in those communities for for many years. And I just backed off and backed off and backed away and watched and watched. And there's nothing to be done. And, you know, when I tell students of mine who who are studying those kinds of things with me is, you know, you can't change people. Right? All we can do is our own work. All we can do is is our own practice. All we can do is stayed attuned and aligned with nature and with ourselves in the best ways that we know how. Right? I no longer have life force to give, right, to going to battle with a community that doesn't want they don't care they don't want my voice. They don't care about my opinion. And that's okay. And when you run out of fucks to give for this -- Yeah. -- when you prioritize your own life and your own voice against that kind of noise. There's a real power in it.

0:56:47

So I wanna wrap up bringing us back to spinsters. Yeah. Let's talk about money and the craft because this isn't right. This is -- No. -- this is an old way of truly I feel largely repressing people who are coded as women -- Yes. -- because we are largely the spiritual life beat the spiritual life force of the people and to take away any ability to make money off of our work and our teachings is just another form of oppression. Indeed. Indeed.

0:57:42

There was a time I don't wanna go into the whole story because it's too long and convoluted and complicated. But there was a time when I was being attacked for you know, being a horror. A horror. You know, selling selling the craft. For money. And this this thing was sort of spiraling out of control and my elders and my peers were being, like, do not respond. Do not respond. And I was, like, climbing at the walls. Right? Not defending myself. It'll blow over. Don't respond.

0:58:27

And it was very interesting to me because it was a man who came in and said, listen. This is the so low parent of two children. Right? I know for a fact that she gets food stamps they're on, you know, government healthcare. They're getting government benefits. And this is who you're choosing to attack. Because she dares to try to earn an income to uplift herself in her children. Through the thing that she is a master at. And you would dare to try to destroy her reputation because she chooses to get paid for her time, her expertise, her brilliant mind, her you know, and I was like, he got it. He got it. Not only did he get it, because he was a man. They actually listened to him. They listened. Right? And he, you know, Rick Wilderma, thank you for that time that you you stood up in in defended me.

0:59:45

And all women really who were priestesses in the craft. It's okay for men to make money in the craft. It's not okay for us. We're supposed to still give it away or charge so little that we can't we cannot make ends meet. Right? So, yes, it it is the the over culture, patriarchy but it is also the internalized patriarchy and how dare she and who does she think she is.

1:00:16

I'm I'm a priestess. I'm an initiate. I'm a master at what I do. You know? Where else where else? Let me just put this question out there if we're really gonna get controversial and really show you my kit conspiratorial side. Where else does someone who has thirty five years, expertise in their field, get invited to speak, at a conference for thousands of people with no airfare, no lodging, no meal stipend and no pay. And then be set and then be told, well, you're a bitch. Because you won't do this for free. Can you imagine someone from any other profession being -- Absolutely not. -- it's it's insane. And I you know, and they'll say, well, it's it's for exposure. In my eating body of dying of exposure out here. Who are you exposing me to? People that you have taught not to pay their teachers. So what good is it for me to do that? I'm gonna spend thousands of dollars to to provide you with this service, and I'm not gonna get paid. Yeah. It's it's messy. It's it's been a messy experiment, this this paganism thing. So I would like to then allow you to spend a few minutes inviting folks into the work and ways that they can pay you. Thank you.

1:02:08

I think that ultimately, big prone energy is my stepping into what I'm calling, whole life priestess. Right? I have the credentials to be a life coach. I have the credentials. I have the credentials. They have the credentials. But there was something in in the Crohn herself where I really needed to go back and reclaim the word priestess. Right? And the power of what that is and and to embody that once again. Because it's part of my whole self. Right? What I'm doing working with women is to say how can we get you to a place where you are your whole self? Without reservation, without shame, without apology, without shrinking, without quietening yourself. What does that look like for you? And how can I help you to attain that sense of self assurance so that you can stand in your own power on your two feet?

1:03:27

One of the words that's common to use for this sense of selfhood these days is the word sovereignty. But I'm very I I understand how it's being used, but I'm a word Smith. And the word sovereign means the ruler. Right? It doesn't mean the ruler over you. It means the ruler over your subjects. Okay? So if we're all, like, I'm sovereign. That means I can do anything I want to everybody else. That doesn't help us.

1:04:04

So I'm looking for spaces and and creating spaces in which we are sovereign in solidarity with one another. Sovereign in collaboration with one another. And this is hard for people. I get asked all time, how can we be sovereign and have to worry about what other people think. And it's like, well, because we don't live here on the planet. Because we live in a fucking society. And -- Right. -- sometimes that does in fact still matter. Right. Not if we're creating culture, which is what we're doing, which is what I do. Right? If we're creating culture, let's create it where everyone's sovereignty is respected and honored, but the solidarity with the society, with the culture that we're creating is simultaneously honored. Right? We can't just do whatever we want if it hurts other people. We can't. That's not human. Right? That's inhumane.

1:05:13

So, ways that people can work with me, sign up for the newsletter. Sign up for and become a member of the conspiracy. It's gonna be a blast. Right? One of the things about being with Kronos, it's a lot of fun. Right? Is it hard work? If you need it to be hard work or you can just turn you can just turn the dial. It can be that easy. Scary but easy. Doesn't have to be years of doing the hard work. Right? So sign up for the newsletter, become a member of the conspiracy. You can follow me on Facebook and and Instagram, the Crohn herself, I have a program coming up starting in June called a provocation of Crohn's.

1:06:07

Oh. Because I love the word provocateur, which I made up myself. And what we're doing in that program is it's a five part series where we invoke the old chromes, the ancient archetypal and ancestral chrome mothers. In ancient goddesses. And then we evoke big krona energy from within us. And then there's a period of provoking Right? We're we're we're really saying, but stand up for yourself. But stand up for yourself. But take more space. But I wanna hear your voice. Right? Then there's five weeks, which is an initiatory process, including with ceremonies and tools and all of that. And then there's five weeks of integration so that we don't just go off on the spiritual high or this this high of, like, now I'm empowered. Right? And destroy, you know. Oh, we'll worship me in El Bay. Right? So some integration time for that And another way to work with me is Big Crown Energy Sessions, which is one on one over a period of time.

1:07:26

I also do this fun thing called coffee dates with the kron herself. They can be fifteen, forty five, or ninety minutes, and you can just set up a call and be like, I need to talk to the crowd, and we'll just do that one off session. And I also do Oracle readings. Which are a little different than to row and the kind of divination that most people are doing out there. It comes with a little more consultation. And the crumbs come through and they have things to tell you about how you can shift outcomes to your liking. So Those are all the ways you can work with me as of right now, but of course, I have this brain. And so more things are coming. Yeah. And we will leave a link in the show notes and elsewhere. But where is that? That is at the kron herself dot com. Fabulous. Thank you so much.

1:08:29

Bryor. This has been so much fun. I'm so glad you could be here today. Y'all, this is what we're building here. This is the whole point of the neurodiversity media network is to allow us to come together and have these big expansive conversations with people who are not necessarily out there be in the big stuff because that's not always who has the best information. If you would like to know more about our mission, you can find it at neurodiversitymedia network dot com. Subscribers get a bunch of private streams and access to all of our course pages. Thank you so much. For being here, y'all, Corina, we'll do it again. I think we could probably do a whole bunch more of these. So We could stay up all night and have a slumber party. Absolutely. Okay. I'm I'm here. We're signing it up. It's a slumber party. Alright. Thanks. Yeah. Have a great one.

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Briar Harvey